


The Darkest Hour: Redemption

by Ithiel_Dragon



Series: The Hour is Darkest Just Before the Dawn [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Physical Abuse, Romance, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-03-13 21:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 76,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3397529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim had a lot of time to think while he was recovering from his near death experience and came to some very startling conclusions. About the nature of good and evil, how the two weren't nearly so black and white as he originally thought, and maybe he and Khan weren't so different from each other after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, big thanks to my beta [NurseDarry](http://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/pseuds/NurseDarry).

He hated hospitals.

Once Jim would have said he hated doctors too, but the fact that one of his best friends was a doctor had made him slightly more charitable in his opinion on the profession. Slightly. It was no secret that the young captain hated being told what to do, even at the best of times. So having someone else trying to tell him what was best for him always put the young man's back up. And it made him a horrible patient. He was probably lucky that Bones had known him for so long and was used to putting up with him. And Jim trusted Bones completely, no matter how much he might complain, so at least having the older man as his doctor made things a bit more bearable. Jim's opinion on hospitals in general, however, hadn't changed.

Thankfully, despite his adventuresome youth, he hadn't had much reason to frequent them. Sure there were the various scrapes and the occasional broken bone from childhood. And later on there were the brief visits to stitch up a wound he'd earned in some fight or another as a teenager. Then of course there were the visits he'd been forced to make to the Medbay for the regular physical exams required by Starfleet, or just whenever Bones thought it necessary and dragged him there, practically kicking and screaming.

But most of those visits had been brief, no longer than a few hours, or at the most overnight. There had only been one other time he'd had to spend a lengthy amount of time in a hospital, and it had not been a pleasant experience. It was probably the main reason he hated them so much, and even now it brought back too many bad memories.

It had only been a few hours since Jim had woken up after spending two weeks unconscious, recovering from fatal radiation poisoning, and already he felt like he was losing his mind. He hated not being able to take care of himself, not even having the strength to get out of bed on his own. It made him feel completely helpless. Defenseless.  And he hated it.  

It hadn't been so bad when he'd first woken up, since he hadn't been alone. He'd been more than a little fuzzy at first and surprised as hell to be waking up at all, but Bones and Spock had both been there to greet him at his return from the dead. The presence of his two best friends went a long way to ease his confusion and calming the initial panic he'd felt waking up in the hospital. Their relief and joy at seeing him awake had been obvious. Spock had even almost smiled when Jim thanked the Vulcan for saving his life. Then Bones' crack about how he and Uhura had helped with that too had Jim chuckling in spite of everything. They easily fell into that camaraderie that Jim had come to rely on.

Spock hadn't stayed long. As acting captain in Jim's absence, he had plenty of duties that needed his attention elsewhere, especially considering the massive upheaval recently in Starfleet command. Anyone else might have felt a bit slighted by the brevity of his best friend's visit, especially after just waking from the dead, but Jim didn't. The fact that the Vulcan had taken the time at all out of his busy schedule to come see him was proof enough of just how much the other man cared for him. The half-Vulcan remained just long enough to fill him in on what had happened in the interim. The _Enterprise_ had survived, barely, and it was good to know his efforts hadn't been in vain after all. Jim had managed to save what was left of his ship and crew, and apparently repairs were already underway on the damaged ship. The repairs were taking a little longer than under normal circumstances since most construction crews were far busier trying to salvage what was left of Starfleet headquarters after the crash of the _Vengeance_.

After Spock left he'd had more visitors who lingered a little longer. Uhura had stopped by, giving him a tearful hug that lasted for at least a full five minutes. She was followed by Chekov, Sulu, and Scotty. The latter had threatened to resign once more if Jim ever did something as bloody stupid again. A few more members of his crew arrived after that, mostly from his bridge crew, with well-wishes and even some flowers. Even Carol Marcus had come to see him briefly to wish him well on his road to recovery.

His friends... No...his family. For so long he hadn't felt like he had one. Ironic that he had to leave home to finally find a family.

There had been others too. Members of his crew he didn't know as well. A few captains he'd come to know after he'd taken command of the _Enterprise_. Even an admiral or two. Bones hadn't let them stay for very long, a few minutes at most. "He needs rest, dammit, not a damned parade through his room every five minutes," Jim had heard the doctor muttering to himself after he'd ushered out several young ensigns who Jim wasn't sure if they were members of his own crew or not.

Apparently his ship's encounter with the _Vengeance_ had earned him a bit of a celebratory status while he'd been sleeping. It wasn't all that surprising. The same thing had occurred when he'd first taken command of the _Enterprise_ and the whole story of how the _Enterprise_ had basically saved Earth from the same fate as Vulcan had been leaked. Jim had more than his share of admirers then. It was almost overwhelming and a relief to go back out with the _Enterprise_ on missions to let the commotion die down a bit.

It had been amusing at first. Now, though, it all just left him feeling tired. He was grateful when the 'parade' had finally ended, most likely Bones' doing. When a pretty redheaded nurse brought him lunch, he hadn't even tried chatting her up as he would have any other time. He ate and then slept for a good long while. When he finally woke again it was dark outside his window and the lights in his room had been dimmed to about ten percent. The small chronometer sitting amongst various arrangements of flowers and other gifts brought by his visitors read 02:30 am.

That's when things started to go to hell a little bit and cemented his opinion of hospitals. He was unable to get out of bed, and with nothing to distract him from his own thoughts, he felt like he was going a little bit insane. Though maybe that had to do more with the fatal direction of his thoughts - no matter how hard he tried, it was like his mind was caught in some sort of inescapable gravitational force.

He couldn't stop thinking about...him...

It hadn't been so bad when there were others around distracting him. But now there was nothing but darkness and silence. Sure there was the view screen, or the data pad Bones had left him to use in case he got bored. Jim even tried it for a while. But he found he couldn't concentrate on those distractions no matter how hard he tried. He gave up on the view screen after only a few moments of watching the late-night news, and all but threw down the data pad in frustration after he reread the same screen three times and still couldn't remember what it said.

He probably shouldn't be surprised he felt so...consumed...by what had happened. After all, dying was a pretty unforgettable experience. He was only human and any human, when faced with his own mortality, tended to get a bit shaken up. And this wasn't just a near-death experience. He had been _dead_.

It was all little bit fuzzy, probably a result of the massive amounts of radiation frying his brain cells at the time. But did remember a bit of his last moments. He remembered he'd managed to crawl to the glass door that sealed off the warp core from the rest of engineering. He wasn't sure how long he'd lain there, but it couldn't have been long; he didn't have that long. No human could survive the massive amount of radiation his body had been exposed to. As Scotty had said before, he should have been dead before he even made the climb to the warp core. The fact that Jim was still alive, even for a short time afterward, was probably more a testament to sheer stubbornness than anything else.

Scotty had been there, had said something to him from the other side of the glass, but Jim couldn't remember the words themselves, just how the Scottish man's accent seemed to grow even more pronounced with his grief. Then Spock had arrived. That conversation was a bit clearer, but it still felt like something that had happened in a dream. Jim remembered feeling very scared. He remembered how Spock's normally steady voice had broken over his words. The tears... Jim couldn't remember ever seeing Spock cry before. Of course the Vulcan wasn't really as emotionless as he pretended, but for the man to express those emotions openly...

Yeah, it was strange. Confusing. Not to mention more than a little disturbing. The only problem was...he wasn't. Disturbed, that was, by what had happened. At least he wasn't as shaken up as he thought he probably should be, and not about that part of the whole fiasco. It wasn't so much his death that was occupying Jim's thoughts, but the reason why he was still alive.

Khan.

After all, the only reason Jim was alive right now was because of the man. Or more specifically, the man's blood. But while anyone else would probably have been obsessing over the possible side effects of being pumped full of genetically-altered super blood, Jim couldn't stop thinking about what had been done with Khan after Bones had taken all of the blood he'd needed.

Jim hadn't thought to ask before. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't now be driving himself crazy. Had Khan had his trial yet, the one Jim had promised him he'd have, even when it had cost him and his crew so damned much? It had been two weeks and it was possible it was all said and done. It had been pretty much an 'open and shut' case as far as anyone was concerned, and Jim could see the higher-ups wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. After all the chaos and death Khan had caused...no one would actually consider defending his actions. Khan would be pronounced guilty before he ever stepped into any court room.

And Jim couldn't understand why that thought bothered him so much. Because the man _was_ guilty, damn it: the bombing of the archive, the death of Admiral Pike and all the other captains and commanders that Jim had witnessed first-hand, his own crew members who had died during the failed mission to bring the man to justice. Then all of those who had been hurt or killed when the mad bastard had crashed the _Vengeance_ into Starfleet Headquarters and downtown San Francisco. So, yeah, anything Khan had coming, he deserved.

Even as Jim convinced himself of this, he couldn't stop his brain from drifting into dangerous territory. Questioning the justice that Khan had coming. Wondering...what if...

Indeed, a lot of the blame for everything could be laid directly at Admiral Marcus' feet; he was the one who'd hijacked Khan's ship, taken the man prisoner, held the man's crew - his family - hostage. He forced Khan to use his intelligence and savagery to build weapons made for war. As much as Jim hated to think of Khan in any way a victim in this whole fiasco, at that time, he had been. The simple fact was: he had been a slave.

But he had escaped. Khan hadn't gone into the details of his escape and Jim hadn't really cared about them at the time. He'd been too consumed with rage over the death of Admiral Pike, a man he had come to think of as a father figure in the time he'd known him. But now, Jim couldn't help but wonder what circumstances had led to Khan's escape from Marcus. What had finally driven the super human to flee without the crew for which he cared so much? Had Khan been mistreated? Or worse? Mere weeks ago, Jim never would have considered any of this- that someone, much less a Starfleet admiral, could be capable of such things. But now he wasn't nearly so naive.

Had Khan's life been threatened? The admiral certainly had been more than ready to end Khan, and seventy two helpless sleeping humans, in order to erase the evidence of his schemes by the time the _Enterprise_ and her crew had gotten involved. Jim would probably never know the answer to that question. He only knew the consequences. Khan had escaped and had caused chaos and the deaths of many people. Khan said that following his escape, he'd had every reason to believe Marcus had killed his crew, every last person who Khan cared about. He'd had nothing left to lose. So he had sought vengeance.

Jim couldn't help but snort softly at the irony.

The truth was, Jim couldn't really blame the man for his actions. At the time he did, sure, and he sure as hell didn't condone anything that Khan had done. He still felt intense anger towards the man for killing Admiral Pike, but... He also understood why he'd done it. Because as much as they all liked to think they were above feelings such as revenge, that they were so much better than Khan, vengeance was exactly what Jim had wanted when he'd all-but-begged Admiral Marcus to go after Khan. He'd wanted revenge against the man who'd killed his friend. He'd been fully prepared to kill Khan, a life for...well...dozens of lives. It was only fair. Right? Or so he told himself at the time. In that way, as much as Jim hated to admit it, they weren't so different, he and Khan. They'd both lost those they loved and wanted revenge.

If not for Spock managing to talk him out of it, into doing what was right and bringing the man back for trial, Jim would have been no different than Khan. Worse, he would have walked right into Marcus' trap and started a war with the Klingons. He'd have probably got everyone on his ship killed, not to mention the millions of deaths that might be on his hands when open war broke out between the Federation and Empire. Things had still gone pear-shaped, despite Jim's best intentions, but it could have been so much worse.

But Khan hadn't had that. He didn't have someone to act as his conscience, if the man even had one. As far as he knew, he no longer had a family; all he'd had was his anger, his hate, his grief, and his desire for revenge. But as soon as he'd learned they were still alive, Khan seemed to only care about his crew's safety. Again, in that regard, he and Jim weren't that different.  When Marcus had finally shown his true colors, when he'd fired upon the _Enterprise_ , ready to destroy them all when Jim refused to hand Khan over, Jim had been prepared to do anything to save what remained of his crew. He'd offered to not only surrender Khan, but also himself to the admiral. So much for his highly-prized morals.

Jim realized he actually felt guilty for that, and hated himself a little for it. At the time it seemed a small price to pay. The life of a man he hated in exchange for the safety of his crew. The fact that he'd thrown his own life into the deal as well didn't really make it much better. But Jim knew that there had been no 'right' option in that situation, no way to cheat and come out on top, he'd simply chosen what he felt was the lesser of evils. Then he had almost used the same tactics as Marcus against Khan to ensure the man's cooperation. Maybe not outright threatening the Khan's crew, but definitely using them as a bargaining chip. Was it really any surprise that Khan hated them so much? All they had ever done was use him and threaten his family in one way or another. Was it any surprise that Khan had finally turned on them?

Back a lion into a corner, did you really expect it not to attack?

And technically, hadn't Jim betrayed Khan first? He was the one, after all, who'd told Scotty to stun the man even though Khan had never raised a hand against Jim or any of his crew. On Kronos, Khan had taken out a whole squad of Klingons without breaking a sweat. But none of Jim's crew had been harmed. Without Khan's assistance they would have all been dead. Then, once Khan had surrendered, Jim had attacked him without any provocation, the man hadn't even lifted a finger to defend himself. Sure, Jim hadn't done much actual damage, but still. He'd come along quietly. He'd even allowed Bones to take that blood sample from him without a fight.

Then of course he agreed to accompany Jim to the _Vengeance_ and had actually saved Jim's life in the debris field. At that point, Khan didn't have any reason to help him; he'd already been released from the brig. None of Jim's crew would have blamed Khan if Jim had gone splat out there without his visor working. But the man had found him and guided him into the ship alive. It was pretty clear Khan hadn't done it because he'd thought he needed Jim's help taking the _Vengeance_. Khan had proved that much, overpowering any opposition they encountered with ease.

The realization that Khan didn't actually need their help had soured the already non-existent trust between them. Jim hadn't been willing to take any chances, so he'd ordered Scotty to take him out once he didn't need Khan any more. Had that been the right call? The fact that Khan had indeed turned on them afterwards wasn't really proof that Khan had been planning on betraying them; the man hadn't actually turned on them until after Scotty had stunned him on Jim's order.

Jim couldn't help but wonder, lying here alone in his hospital bed in the middle of the night, if things could have turned out differently. Apparently too much time alone with his own thoughts drove him to think crazy things. Thinking about _what if's_ was pretty pointless, even at the best of times, but right now it felt like an exercise in insanity. He couldn't stop thinking about it, however, and he couldn't stop wondering what would happen...or might have already happened...to Khan. What would they do with him? Lock him away and throw away the key? What if they decided Khan was too dangerous to let live? There was no death penalty on Earth anymore, but... Grief was a strong emotion, and there were a lot of people grieving right now. Did Khan deserve to die for his crimes?

If the trial hadn't taken place yet, would Jim be called to testify? What would he say if he was? Before, Jim knew exactly what he would have said, what he would have done, what he thought of the whole thing... Now...now he wasn't sure of anything.


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, Jim. How are you feeling, today?" Dr. Leonard McCoy asked as he entered Jim's hospital room.

If the older man was surprised to find that his captain was awake this early in the morning, he didn't show it. His academy days and time spent as captain of the _Enterprise_ had trained Jim to rise at any time and function at one hundred percent, day or night, no matter how little sleep he might have got. But it was no secret that during whatever down time they received, Jim Kirk had a habit of sleeping in. Sometimes past noon, depending on the company and/or any hangover.

The fact that he was wide awake now, not more than an hour after dawn when he should be resting, was unusual. Then again, given the fact that Jim had been 'resting' for a good two weeks already, maybe Bones should let him off the hook a little.

Jim put down the data pad he'd been reading and offered his friend a warm smile.

"Morning, Bones and better," Jim answered honestly. When he first woke yesterday, he'd felt kind of like he'd been fried by a jolt from a Capellan Power-Cat: he'd been utterly exhausted and ached all over. He could barely move, and probably would have been aching a hell of a lot more if not for whatever pain suppressants Bones had been undoubtedly dosing him with. At the same time he'd felt...twitchy, like all of his cells had been super-charged, begging to burn off excess energy, but his total-body exhaustion had prevented it.

It was a strange combination to be sure. When Bones told him about the transfusion of Khan's blood that had saved his life, the feeling wasn't much of a mystery. His body's natural healing ability had been thrown into overdrive repairing all of his damaged cells, which explained both the sensation of excess energy combined with exhaustion. But it still hadn't been very pleasant.

Today he felt more...normalized...was the only way Jim could really describe it. If all of his body's systems had been working overtime these past couple of weeks, then it felt like they were finally leveling off. He felt like his body was slowly returning to normal, or at least, his systems were reaching some kind of plateau. His muscles and joints didn't ache as much, and that strange 'twitching' feeling underneath his skin was all but gone. He felt more awake than he had all day yesterday, even though he'd been awake for most of the night, and his mind felt sharper. Jim definitely wasn't functioning at a hundred percent just yet, but he was feeling a hell of a lot better than anyone baked in a radiation oven ought to feel after only two weeks of napping.

"Good," Bones replied, giving the younger man a genuine smile before he took out the scanner and started checking on Jim's vitals for himself. "And how did you sleep last night?"

Damn it. Apparently Bones wasn't letting him off the hook after all.

"Fine," Jim lied easily enough, earning him Bones' patented 'don't try to bullshit me' stare. He should have known better than to even try. After all, a nurse or two had come to check on him in the middle of the night and probably left some kind of note for the doctor about his insomnia. Jim sighed heavily.

"I didn't get much sleep, but it's no big deal. I slept for most of the day yesterday, Bones," Jim told his friend, trying his best not to sound defensive. The doctor merely _hrrmped_ and went on scanning him while punching information into his data pad. Jim just sighed and went along with it to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"So, what's the verdict, Doc?" Jim asked once Bones had finished and put away his medical scanner.

"Your vitals are all almost nearly back in normal range," Bones muttered, almost to himself, not looking up from his pad. Curious to what he saw there, Jim tried to crane his neck, but he didn't have a good enough view to see the screen. It looked like Bones was comparing the readings he'd just taken to some previous ones.

"Uh, that's a good thing, right?" Jim asked.

"It's incredible," Bones replied, finally looking at Jim directly. "A few more days and we can probably start your physical therapy..."

"What? Physical therapy? Aw, come on, Bones..." Jim tried to protest, earning him the 'I am your doctor, dammit, and I know what's best for you' glare that annoyed the captain so much.

"Jim, your body went through massive trauma. You died for god's sake! Your cells were saturated with radiation. Your body had to repair - or replace - all of that damage. We don't know the long term effects of that on your system. I'm glad you're feeling much better, but you need to take things slow for a while," Bones insisted, and damn the man for sounding so reasonable.

Jim huffed dramatically. "Fine." No, he was not pouting, dammit.

Bones merely grinned at him.

"Cheer up. You deserve a little vacation after everything," Bones said, giving his shoulder a friendly pat before checking the monitoring equipment that Jim was still hooked up to. Probably making sure everything was reading in line with the scan he'd just performed. The doctor was nothing if not thorough.

A vacation. Right. Maybe if Jim tried to think of it that way he'd survive this.

"So, anything else besides the insomnia? Aches? Dizziness? Nausea? Plotting world domination?" Bones teased. It would probably be a long-running joke between them for some time. He wished the joke had been as funny as it was yesterday when Jim had first woken up. But underlying the banter, Jim knew the significance to the inquiry. Bones really was worried that by using Khan's blood to save his friend's life, there could be unexpected side effects, that there might be...changes...either physically or mentally.

Jim glanced down briefly at the data pad he'd been reading before Bones came in.

"Just a little sore, that's all." He decided not to mention the reason his sleeplessness last night. Jim didn't want to alarm anyone, especially himself, if there was no reason to. Just because he was...preoccupied...with thinking about Khan didn't mean he was obsessed with the man or anything. Jim was just curious. He wanted answers. That was nothing new.

Since Bones had brought it up, now seemed like a good time as any to get some of those answers.

"So... What happened after I...you know," Jim began, making a vague gesture with his hand. He didn't want to say 'after I died' because it was a weird, and kind of sensitive, topic and he didn't want to upset his friend. He knew Bones would have taken it pretty hard, seeing him dead, and even though Jim was doing much better now, that didn't completely erase the pain.

"I thought Spock told you..." Bones looked at him with surprise, and Jim could just see the doctor wanting to add 'amnesia' to the possible side effects to what had happened.

"No, no. Not with the _Enterprise_ and everything. I meant..." Jim sighed to himself. No sense tip-toeing around the issue. So far, everyone seemed unwilling to even mention the man's name. "Khan. What happened after Spock caught him? I can't imagine he was too...cooperative."

Though the super-human had been willing to part with a small vial of his blood the first time Dr. McCoy asked him for one in the brig, Jim couldn't imagine Khan being so willing this time around, especially when his blood's intended use would be to save an enemy's life.

"Ah. Well..." Bones nodded in understanding, looking a little uncomfortable with the topic, and Jim couldn't blame him. But these questions had been burning in his mind all night. He needed to know. "He didn't really have much of a choice. He was unconscious when Spock brought him in, and I thought it best to keep him that way. Took enough sedatives to knock out an Algorian mammoth to keep the bastard under."

Jim nodded in understanding. No, he couldn't fault Bones for taking such a precaution.

"You required a few transfusions before your body started healing on its own. He was kept in an isolation cell during that time, under high security of course, even while unconscious. Higher-ups weren't taking any chances after the mess he caused, you know. Once you were out of the woods, Starfleet Command took custody of him. Spirited him off to some 'top secret' location or some such. Very hush, hush."

Jim couldn't say he was all that surprised, at least, not about Khan's imprisonment. That was pretty much a given. But he was a bit shocked about the transfusions. Plural. Just how much of Khan's blood had he needed to bring him back from the dead? He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Right. So, Khan's crew?"

"Unloaded off the _Enterprise_ as soon as she was fit enough to dock safely. No one knows where to. All very..."

"Hush, hush. Right," Jim finished with a small understanding smile. He had been hoping for some clearer answers, but he wasn't all that surprised not to get them. He knew just how secretive Starfleet Command could be. He couldn't say it sat very well with him, all the secrecy, considering Admiral Marcus' secret weapons project and secret plans to start a war was what caused this whole mess in the first place. But at the same time, Starfleet was probably afraid of someone else coming along to try and make use of the genetically-altered humans the way Marcus had. Probably best as few people as possible knew where to find Khan, lest someone set the bastard loose again .

Jim laughed under his breath.

"Must have been some trial," he commented offhandedly. Jim wondered if he could somehow get his hands on the holo-recordings or a transcript.

Bones snorted in amusement.

"Probably would have been," Bones agreed, and his words made Jim do a double-take.

"There wasn't a trial?" Jim asked, surprised.

Bones shook his head.

"From what I hear, didn't need to be. There was a hearing. Didn't last long. Apparently Khan pleaded guilty to all the charges."

Jim could only stare at the doctor in shock. Sure, Khan was guilty. Everyone knew he was guilty. But the fact that Khan hadn't even tried to defend himself? Not even to...stall for time? Delay his sentence? Or anything? That didn't sound right at all...

"Yeah," Bones continued. "I wasn't there, of course. It's all just talk through the rumor mill. But apparently as part of his sentence, Khan was handed over to the Science Division for testing. The regeneration rate of Khan's cells really is remarkable, and they want to study it for possible medical applications. Especially since..."

The doctor gestured to Jim, and the captain needed no further explanation. Khan's blood had healed Jim of fatal radiation poisoning; there was no telling what it might be capable of if the regeneration process could be replicated.

"They're going to experiment on him..." Jim muttered, feeling an odd chill run down his spine at the realization.

"Maybe the bastard can do some good after all before they lock him up and throw away the key." Even though a small part of Jim couldn't help but agree with Bones' words, they still brought Jim no comfort.


	3. Chapter 3

Bones couldn't stay for long. There had been so many wounded and dead when Khan had made his kamikaze run into Starfleet Headquarters and the surrounding city with the _Vengeance_ , that the hospital needed as many medical personal on staff as possible. So while Dr. McCoy's chief duties usually involved only caring for the _Enterprise_ crew members, for the time being he had many more patients to look after. Apparently the wounded and dead were still coming in- albeit at a slower rate - even two weeks after the crash as the rubble was slowly sifted through and removed.

Jim tried not to feel guilty that he was kind of glad when his friend left; he had a lot to think about, after all.

Given that Bones had to witness first-hand the consequences of what Khan had done, Jim couldn't really blame Bones for his opinion regarding Khan. A part of Jim even agreed with Bones. If they could find out what made Khan heal so rapidly, find out how to replicate the healing properties of the super-human's blood, it could help a whole lot of people.

The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one, right?

If Khan had agreed willingly to the experimentation, then that would be one thing. But he hadn't agreed to it. He had been _sentenced_ to it. He didn't have a choice. Khan might be a murdering bastard with a superiority complex ten kilometers wide, he might be insane, he might be a criminal, but he was still a sentient being. He was still _human_. Even though in Khan's words, he'd been genetically modified to be 'better', he still deserved to be treated like a human being and not...

Not like a slave. Not like some test subject. Not like he wasn't human.

It was a slippery slope. If it was acceptable to sacrifice one for many, was it acceptable to sacrifice ten for a hundred? A hundred for a thousand? A thousand for a million? Where did it end?

Jim wished he could say that he couldn't believe that someone in Starfleet Command had suggested such a thing in the first place. But...Jim knew better. He'd seen it happen before. On Tarsus IV...

There would always be men willing to exploit others for their personal gain. Men who believed the ends justified the means, no matter what the cost. Sadly, it was one of the negative aspects of human nature. What was the old saying, the road to hell was paved with good intentions?

In the beginning, even Admiral Marcus might have believed that what he had been doing was for the greater good. The Klingons _were_ a threat that Starfleet would probably have to face, one way or another, and most likely sooner than later. If war really was inevitable, trying to create weapons to be used in the defense of Earth and her allies seemed like a reasonable precaution. But Marcus had taken it _way_ too far. What Marcus had done to Khan and his people, what he'd almost done to the _Enterprise_ and her crew, and trying to actually _provoke_ a war with the Klingons...

No, the ends did not justify the means.

Jim sighed wearily to himself. A few years ago he'd never have thought himself some kind of champion for lost causes, but somewhere along the line apparently he'd become one, maybe because he'd once been a lost cause himself. He probably still would be if not for Christopher Pike. But just like he couldn't sit idly by and watch an entire planet and its people be destroyed, he couldn't sit idly by and let this happen to Khan, no matter what the 'rules' said, and when there was something he could do to stop it.

Jim was well aware of the irony: the man who had saved James T. Kirk had been killed by the man Jim now wanted to save. Jim consoled himself with the surety that even Christopher Pike wouldn't have wanted to see Khan treated this way no matter what the man had done. Jim wasn't defending him, or his actions, not by a long shot. But he _was_ defending the ideals he himself and Pike had sworn to uphold when they joined Starfleet.

Besides, it still bothered Jim how Khan had pleaded guilty and refused his right to a trial. It didn't make sense from what Jim knew about him. Sure, Jim had only 'known' Khan for a brief period of time and under less than ideal circumstances, but Jim had been doing his homework. When he finally decided it was a futile _not_ thinking about Khan last night, Jim had decided instead to try to find out everything he could about the man.

It hadn't been easy, but it had helped him pass the time. Jim picked up the data pad he'd been reading this morning and powered it back on. On it was all the information he'd managed to dig up regarding Khan's past.

There wasn't much, which didn't really surprise Jim. During the late 20th Century, a series of devastating wars had gripped the whole planet. Accurate record-keeping hadn't been a major concern at the time. Added to that was the fact that most of the information had been recently classified, which again, wasn't much of a surprise given recent events, but to James Kirk just a minor inconvenience. Admiral Pike hadn't called Jim the only _'genius level repeat offender in the midwest'_ for nothing. In under an hour he had been able to hack into the secure database and download all the information he needed. He'd already read through it, twice, but it was still fascinating.

Khan Noonien Singh had been a product of the Eugenics Project, a selective breeding and genetics enhancement program meant to better the human race. Khan hadn't been joking when he said that he was 'better at everything'. But even among the 'super men' created during the program, Khan was considered exceptional.

Only a couple of decades after the program began, the genetically augmented humans began assuming control over most of the world. Khan himself controlled more than a quarter of the Earth's entire population. He had been a tyrant, no question about it. But he was also known as 'the best of tyrants'. Even though his subjects were not granted freedoms, there had been virtually no internal strife within Khan's domain. There'd been no mass killings, no genocide, no war. In a time when so much of the world had been suffering through incomprehensible atrocities, Khan's reign might have even have been welcomed.

That was far different from what Jim had overheard on the bridge of the _Vengeance_ when Spock had accused Khan of _'the mass genocide of anyone Khan thought to be less than superior'_. At the time Jim hadn't questioned it; he'd thought that Khan was just trying to play him when he'd said he was _'Genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war.'_ But apparently they'd been wrong. It seemed as though Khan had been trying to live up to that, in his own way. The history Jim read proved as much.

But there had been other genetically enhanced men and women who took power, far less honorable than Khan, who _were_ guilty of the mass murder of 'inferior' beings and other crimes against humanity. It was no surprise that war eventually broke out between these tyrants during that period. Most of the super-humans were finally defeated by their subjects who rose up against them, but some, including Khan, were never accounted for.

Jim frowned down at the data pad in his hand.

No, he might not 'know' Khan, but he knew this much: Khan definitely wasn't the type of man who would just give up without a fight. Yes, Khan had surrendered to Kirk back on Kronos. But Jim wasn't an idiot. Even at the time, he had suspected that Khan hadn't surrendered because he was intimidated by the torpedoes pointed at him. He'd known Khan was up to something, he just didn't know what. Or maybe Jim had arrogantly thought that he could outsmart Khan, so it didn't really matter what his plans were, as long as he got Khan into custody. But for Khan to just give up now? It didn't make any sense. It was out of character and it didn't benefit Khan in any way, at least that Jim could see.

None of this felt right. If Spock had any idea at all what Jim was thinking right now he'd no doubt lecture him about letting his 'feelings' get the better of him. Again.

_"Despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Mr Kirk. If you did not, then it would be impossible for me to convince you of the truth."_

Well, it wasn't the first and probably wouldn't be the last time that Jim's conscience got him into trouble.

Okay, so decision made. Jim was going to do _something_. The question was what?

If Admiral Pike were still alive the answer would be easy. He would go to his former mentor for advice on how to deal with Starfleet Command. It wasn't any secret that most of High Command in Starfleet didn't like Jim Kirk all that much. Most thought he was arrogant, insubordinate, and too inexperienced to be in command of a star ship. If Jim didn't have a mostly impeccable record, the whole hero label, and wasn't immensely popular in both the lower Starfleet ranks and the general populace, they probably would have tried to take the _Enterprise_ away from him long before Nibiru.

Trying to deal with Starfleet High Command without Admiral Pike as a buffer was _not_ going to be pleasant. But there had to be some way to appeal Khan's sentence. Perhaps there was some regulation that could be cited regarding the treatment of prisoners, ethics, or ban on human experimentation that could be used as a defense.

Jim groaned softly to himself, but he couldn't think of a faster way to get the answers he needed. He just really, really, didn't want to make this call. That would involve explaining and...once this got out, everyone would probably think he was crazy.

Him, of all people, wanting to _help_ Khan.

Resigned, Jim sighed, and hit the button to call a nurse to come to his room. He didn't have to wait very long.

"Can you please contact Commander Spock, USS _Enterprise,_ and tell him I need to speak with him at his earliest convenience? Thank you."

If anyone would know the ins-and-outs of Starfleet regulations, it would be his Vulcan first officer.


	4. Chapter 4

On the bridge of the USS _Enterprise_ , Spock read over the latest report on the progression of ship-wide repairs. For the most part, things were positive.

Damage to the warp core was sixty percent repaired and power had been restored to approximately seventy percent of the ship's primary functions. Many of the ship's secondary functions were still offline. The main engines were still offline, but auxiliary engines were sixty percent functional. Transporter function had still not been completely restored, but Mr. Scott assured him that he would have the transporters working within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Spock estimated that should hasten repairs by at least twenty percent, as the transport of materials and personnel was currently limited to shuttles to-and-from Space Dock. There were still major hull breeches in approximately twenty percent of the ship. The areas had been sealed off of course, but repairs to the damaged sections probably would not begin for several months at least.

Spock estimated it might take between ten and twelve months before the _Enterprise_ was fit for space travel once more.

The captain would probably not be pleased to hear that, but at present there was no way to hasten the repairs, as most of Starfleet's resources were concentrated in other areas. Over half of Starfleet's main headquarters had been destroyed by the _Vengeance,_ not to mention the surrounding buildings in the city. Starfleet High Command had temporarily relocated to Europe and many of the remaining staff and Academy students had been relocated in various facilities across North America, Europe, and Asia for safety reasons.

It would take a long time for Starfleet to recover from effects of one man's war against the Federation.

So it was only logical that one starship, even the _Enterprise_ , did not warrant the extra manpower and resources it would take to repair the ship any sooner. Likely the only reason why Starfleet had been willing to spare enough manpower to help the _Enterprise_ dock safely at the space port was because the last thing San Francisco needed was _another_ very large damaged starship falling on it.

Certainly the captain would understand that, but would likely still complain that his 'girl' would be out of commission for too long. Spock would probably never understand that peculiar human trait. Why waste the mental energy focusing on problems one had no control over, when it was far more efficient to focus on what one _could_ change?

Spock made a note in the report to recommend commendations for Montgomery Scott and the rest of the engineering crew for their exemplary efforts given their current limited resources. After signing off on the report, with a curt nod he handed it back to the ensign waiting to receive it. "Thank you, Ensign Richards."

"Yes, sir," the young woman replied, smiling politely.

The Vulcan's eyes followed the young human female as she departed the bridge. She was one of Mr. Scott's new recruits, only recently graduated from Starfleet Academy, but she seemed competent enough. She was not the only new recruit. The _Enterprise_ had received twenty one new crew members in the past week alone, but the Enterprise was still under-crewed by half.

Between the _Vengeance_ and the plummet into Earth's atmosphere, there had been ninety-seven casualties, and a hundred and twenty-three wounded. For a ship with a previous mission casualty record of zero, it had been a devastating blow to ship morale. Spock knew it would be a devastating blow to their captain as well, which was why he had not shared that specific detail with him during their brief talk yesterday.

It was one of the few things that he and Dr. McCoy agreed on. Despite how the doctor complained how 'uncomfortable' it made him for Spock to agree with him on anything, Jim's well-being was the one exception. When Dr. McCoy had contacted him to inform him that Jim was showing signs of regaining consciousness, the doctor had been adamant that Spock not do or say anything that might upset the captain.

Spock had agreed.

Captain James T. Kirk was not a man that most people would normally describe as fragile. But most people had not been there during those last moments in Engineering. They had not seen how frail Jim Kirk had looked as severe radiation poisoning had begun to shut down all his body's systems. They had not seen the sickly yellow color of his skin, or how his normally bright blue eyes had begun to dull. They had not seen the light in those eyes go out...

Spock closed his eyes briefly and willed the memory away.

It would not do for him to become _emotional_ at a time like this. Not when the ship's crew, not to mention its captain, was counting on him to take care of things while he was recovering. But Spock was finding it surprisingly difficult not to become emotional occasionally when he thought about how he had almost lost his friend. Before that awful moment when he realized Jim was going to die, he would never have thought that something could affect him as much as the death of his mother and the destruction of his home planet.

He had been wrong.

Grief. Rage. Lingering remnants of those emotions still plagued him at odd moments even now that Jim was well on his way to recovery. When he thought of that moment in Engineering. When he remembered how broken Jim had looked in the Med Bay, machines and the blood of the man who'd killed him, the only things keeping his captain alive... Those weeks in the hospital when no one was sure if Jim would wake or if his mind would still be intact if he did.

So, no. His captain was certainly _not_ fragile. He may even be the strongest human that Spock had ever met. But that didn't mean that Jim Kirk didn't need looking after from time to time for his own good. Spock had no doubt that Jim Kirk was fully aware of the high casualty rate of his crew, but for the moment, he did not need to concern himself with such matters. Instead he should be focusing on his own recovery. However Jim probably _would_ be pleased to hear of the progress being made on ship repairs, and Spock planned to share this with him when he went to visit Jim later on today.

Perhaps before he went to the hospital he would stop to purchase a gift for the captain as some of the other crew members had done. Apparently it was an appropriate gesture, and Spock was not completely unfamiliar with the custom of gift-giving for special occasions. If anything could be considered a special occasion, it had to be the return of one from the dead. Jim had a certain fondness for early 20th century Earth literature. A new book might also help the captain pass the time in a more enjoyable manner while he was recovering. It would help 'keep him out of trouble' as Dr. McCoy put it.

Spock could not deny that he was pleased with Jim's rapid recovery. When Dr. McCoy had contacted Spock this morning to inform him how quickly the captain's vitals had been rising in the hours since Jim had woken from his coma, Spock couldn't keep a small smile from his lips. In turn, he relayed the news of their captain's recovery to the rest of the crew. It had definitely had a positive effect on crew morale, though few knew the full extent of Captain Kirk's injuries.

Captain Kirk's death and his revival were only two of the many aspects of the _Enterprise's_ recent mission that had been deemed classified. The official report was that rogue agent Commander John Harrison had betrayed the Federation and was solely responsible for both the bombing of the archive in London and the hijacking of the new top-secret starship _Vengeance_. Admiral Marcus had been killed during the hijacking, and both the _Enterprise_ and _Vengeance_ were severely damaged during the attempt to apprehend Harrison. Commander Harrison died soon after his reported apprehension due to injuries sustained in the crash of the _Vengeance_. Neither John Harrison's true identity nor Admiral Marcus' betrayal was reported to the public.

Logically, Spock understood the reasons for this. It was disturbing enough that a Starfleet Commander would betray the Federation and cause so much death and destruction. If it were discovered that a high-ranking Starfleet admiral was not only equally responsible, but that he had also almost driven the Federation into war with the Klingons, Starfleet's public reputation would have been severely damaged, and could have caused a huge rift within the ranks of Starfleet. Plus, there was no telling just how deep the conspiracy went into Starfleet's ranks. A great deal of time would now be needed to focus on unraveling this complicated web. It would be far easier to achieve this without the public panicking.

Still, the dishonesty and blatant cover-up of what had truly occurred bothered the Vulcan. The irony did not escape Spock either: Captain Kirk had been punished for being untruthful on an official report in failing to mention how the crew of the _Enterprise_ had interfered with the volcano on the planet Nibiru, an action that had resulted in saving an entire race of beings. He had broke the Prime Directive in the process of saving Spock's life. Yet Starfleet High Command was doing approximately the same thing by covering up the true events of what had happened with Admiral Marcus and Khan.

Spock could only imagine what Jim would have to say about the issue. Probably nothing polite.

"Commander Spock." Nyota's voice pulled the Vulcan from his thoughts and he turned to face her as she approached.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Spock answered professionally, as he always did, when they were on duty with other crew members present. Though their relationship was known by most of the crew, thanks to 'James T. Kirk and his big mouth' as Nyota had once put it, Spock insisted upon the professionalism. It was necessary that their private relationship would never be claimed to interfere with their working relationship. Knowing Nyota so well privately, however, he noticed the slight trace of tension in her voice that others might have missed.

"We just received word from Starfleet Medical, sir," Lieutenant Uhura began, and though Spock's face remained blank, inwardly he frowned. Dr. McCoy had already contacted him this morning with an update on the Captain's status. Unless his condition had changed dramatically in the last few hours, Dr. McCoy should have no reason to contact him again so soon.

Despite all logic, Spock felt a tight knot of worry form inside of him.

"Captain Kirk requests to speak with you at your earliest convenience."

Spock nodded.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Will you please inform Space Dock hangar that I will require a shuttle presently."

Nyota offered him an understanding smile and nodded. "Yes, Commander," then returned to her station.

Spock immediately left the bridge, leaving Lieutenant Sulu in command in his absence. As he made his way to the airlock that would take him to Space Dock, Spock could not help but wonder at this summons. Captain Kirk's message had been 'at his earliest convenience,' suggesting that the matter was not urgent enough to request his first officer to drop everything immediately, even though that was essentially what Spock was doing. But if the matter were not of some importance, Jim would not have called him at all, and instead waited for Spock to come and visit him in his own time.

Spock was required to attend yet another debriefing at 09:00 hours in London, which was less than two hours from now. He may have just enough time to take the shuttle to Earth to see Jim before he had to leave to make it to the debriefing on time.

Unfortunately, it meant Spock would have to forgo his plans to acquire a gift for his friend.

* * *

"Captain." Spock greeted the man lying in the bed as he entered James Kirk's hospital room. As Jim looked up from the data pad he'd been examining, the Vulcan couldn't help but note how much better his captain appeared from only yesterday. Of course he already knew this from the report Dr. McCoy had sent to him, but reading about it and witnessing it for himself was somehow different.

It was truly astonishing.

Jim was sitting up on his own without the slightest appearance of the weakness, tiredness, or discomfort he'd shown previously. His skin had all but lost the unhealthy pallor it had possessed these last two weeks, and the human's blue eyes were bright and alert as they focused on him. If Spock hadn't seen it for himself, he would have found it impossible to believe that this man had suffered fatal radiation poisoning not fourteen days prior.

As Jim smiled at him in that familiar easy manner Spock knew so well, the slight knot of worry the Vulcan had felt in his chest since he'd received the call this morning began to loosen. What replaced it was an equally familiar curiosity he'd often experienced when dealing with his captain, whose actions were almost impossible to predict even at the best of times.

"Good morning, Spock. Come in. Shut the door, would you?" Spock detected the slightest bit of tension in the young man's voice which made Spock raise an eyebrow in question. Whatever it was his captain wanted to see him about, apparently he did not want it overheard.

This was definitely not a 'social' call then, as Spock had suspected. He closed the door as requested and approached Jim's bed.

"Thanks for coming so quick."

Spock nodded and waited.

"Um, right." Jim nodded, almost to himself, and hesitated. He seemed to be searching for the right words and Spock recognized the expression on his captain's face all too well. Jim was about to say something that the man suspected Spock would not like.

For not the first time, Spock wished his conclusion was wrong.

"So... I need your help with something. I've been trying to read up a bit myself," Jim began, gesturing to the data pad on the bed. "But you know I've never been good with this kind of thing..."

Jim was being very vague. This did not bode well.

"There are so many laws and regulations and exceptions about the treatment of prisoners and what constitutes acceptable humane punishment for crimes. Experimentation on sentient beings has been outlawed for generations, so someone must have jumped through every loophole in the book to get this approved, and I need to know which ones..."

There could only be one reason why these particular topics would interest James Kirk at this time. Spock, really, really, wished he was wrong. Jim could not possibly be thinking...

"...To see if there is any way to get Khan's sentence appealed."

He was.

Spock blinked. Of all the reasons for why Jim had asked to see him that Spock had considered on his way here, he had never thought of this one.

"Forgive me, Captain. Is this another attempt at humor? Because you know complexities of human pranks sometimes escape me..." Spock asked hopefully. Though, he already knew the answer even before Jim's long suffering look.

"This isn't a joke, Spock."

"Permission to speak freely, Captain?"

"Spock..." Jim whined. Yes, whined. But Spock's face remained set in stone. His captain sighed heavily.

"Of course, Spock."

Spock nodded, folding his hands behind his back.

"Do not pursue this," he stated bluntly, and this must have surprised Jim because his young captain stared up at him blankly for a few moments before the words finally seemed to register.

"Uh, care to elaborate?" Jim asked cautiously, as though he didn't want to hear the answer, and he probably didn't. But Spock would say it none-the-less.

"Whatever you are thinking, whatever you are planning in regards to Khan Noonien Singh, do not pursue it." Spock knew that any hope of the headstrong young man simply accepting his advice without protest was a mere fantasy, but he still hoped all the same.

"Look, Spock. I know you don't like the guy. I sure as hell don't like the guy. But if what Bones said is true, this is wrong..."

Spock shook his head. His personal...feelings...regarding the super-human were not the reasons for his objection. At least, not his main concern at the moment.

"Captain, all information regarding Khan's crimes, capture, and punishment has been deemed classified to the highest degree by Starfleet Command. I was not given leave to attend the hearing, I am not sure where Dr. McCoy has gotten his information from, but I do know the decisions made were final and unanimous."

"That doesn't make them right, Spock!"

"Furthermore, Captain, I have been to many debriefings since the end of our mission, and...questions...have been posed that place doubt on your fitness to continue as captain of the _Enterprise_."

Jim's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. The silence that followed was deafening.

"What kind of 'questions'?" Jim finally asked softly.

"The question of whether or not Admiral Marcus' decision to reinstate you in command of the _Enterprise_ is valid, given his later betrayal of the Federation. The question of whether or not you knew about the true purpose of the Admiral's mission before we arrived at Kronos. The question of whether your recent...injuries...and method of treatment might have left your judgement... compromised... and unfit for command." Spock forced himself to say the last part even though he knew the pain his words would cause his friend.

The haunted, betrayed look that suddenly filled Jim's eyes before he looked away hit Spock like a punch to the stomach, but he forced himself to remain firm. Jim needed to understand how dire the situation truly was.

"Captain... Jim..."

Slowly the young man looked at Spock once more. Though Jim tried to appear unaffected, Spock could clearly see the turmoil his words had caused his friend. When Starfleet Command had taken away the _Enterprise_ from Jim after the Nibiru incident, it had been a devastating blow. Now with such a threat hanging over him again... Even if he could not see it in the man's expressive eyes, he could certainly see the effect his words were having on the medical equipment monitoring the captain's vitals.

Dr. McCoy would probably have words with him about it later.

"I do not say this to hurt you, just to inform you of the seriousness of the situation. It would not be wise to 'rock the boat' as the saying goes, or question the decisions of Starfleet Command at this point in time. Especially in regards to Khan..."

"Understood, Mr. Spock," Jim replied, and the sudden formality almost made the Vulcan flinch. Almost.

The silence that followed stretched and Spock forced himself to speak before it became uncomfortable.

"Will that be all, Captain?"

At Jim's curt nod, Spock forced himself to turn and leave the room even though he didn't want to. But James Kirk was clearly in one of his 'moods' now, and Spock couldn't blame him. He knew how hard it must have been for the captain to hear this; it was fortunate that Spock was half Vulcan or he himself would have never been able to hold his temper during some of the debriefings he'd been forced to attend whenever Jim's actions or fitness for duty was called into question.

Spock couldn't decide if he was surprised or not by Jim's interest in Khan's fate. On the one hand, Jim's compassion and his desire to do what was right were some of his most admirable qualities. It was one of the many reasons Jim's crew loved him so much, and how he commanded such loyalty them. On the other hand, this was _Khan_. A man who had wronged Jim in so many ways, whose actions had actually lead to the man's _death_. That Jim could even consider _helping_ the man in any way...

Frowning, Spock came to a decision and contacted Dr. McCoy on his communicator. The doctor was not pleased to be interrupted, he never was, but as soon as the Vulcan stated that the matter concerned Jim, the man agreed to meet him immediately.

Spock waited for the doctor to arrive down the hall from Jim's hospital room. When he appeared, Spock noted that the man seemed a bit out-of-breath, indicating he'd run at least part of the way here, though he hid it well.

"All right. So what's the damned emergency?" Dr. McCoy asked impatiently, glancing towards Jim's room. Spock could tell the man was fighting a strong urge to go check on his patient and friend immediately.

"I was hoping you could assist me, Doctor. I understand patient files are confidential, but given the circumstances..."

Dr. McCoy frowned deeply. "Out with it."

"I wish to examine Captain Kirk's medical scans - specifically brain scans - from both before and after the captain's...accident."


	5. Chapter 5

"I told you, if there were any abnormalities in the scans, I would have found them already," Leonard McCoy repeated, barely managing to keep his voice from rising to a shout.

At least he'd waited until the door to this broom closet the Senior Medical Personnel tried to pass off as an office had shut before he allowed himself that much. When dealing with the pointy-eared bastard standing in front of him, that was quite a feat. The only reason why he still maintained control over his temper and the volume of his voice was because if anyone passing happened to hear him, the consequences could be devastating.

Especially when Spock was suggesting...

"There's nothing wrong with Jim that a few more weeks of bed rest and physical therapy won't fix! Any traces of radiation poisoning in his blood and tissues disappeared days ago. Frontal lobe, motor control, sensory cortex, temporal lobe - there is absolutely no damage to any part of his brain, either from the radiation or the cryogenic freezing."

Didn't the green-blooded hobgoblin realize that had been one of Leonard's greatest fears (aside from Jim not waking up at all)? That he hadn't gotten Jim into the cryo-tube fast enough to prevent irreparable brain damage to his best friend? That his best friend might not be able to speak, or move, or even remember who he was anymore? Or that he would be simply...different...?

Leonard had run every blood test, every x-ray, every scan he could think of to ensure that there were no physical abnormalities anywhere in Jim's system. But it hadn't been until yesterday, when the young man had finally opened his eyes and McCoy had spoken to him, that he knew, he just knew damn it, that Jim was fine. He was going to be fine.

"Doctor, I do not doubt your diagnostic skills in this matter. You are correct, the captain seems to be recovering well. I merely wish to confirm that there is nothing in any of these scans that could potentially be used against the captain by a third party for any reason. The slightest change could invoke further questioning into the captain's fitness to command," Spock replied calmly, almost too calmly in fact, which had Leonard narrowing his eyes at the half-Vulcan with suspicion.

Vulcans might not lie, but that didn't mean they always told the whole truth. McCoy suspected there was something else to this that the Spock wasn't telling him. For now the doctor merely growled under his breath and threw up his hands in frustration.

"Fine," he snapped, muttering under his breath as he edged around Spock to reach his desk. The office really was small; there was barely enough room for both of them to stand and not be in each other's personal space. But it had been the best the Medical Board could do on such short notice, given that McCoy wasn't part of the hospital's normal operating staff.

Leonard sat down at the equally cramped desk and turned on the terminal, quickly calling up the scans that Spock wanted to see. Under normal circumstances, no matter what Spock's concerns, Leonard would probably have refused to pull up the information as it was indeed a huge breech in doctor-patient confidentiality. But since the scans would soon have to be submitted to the Starfleet review board anyway, they wouldn't be confidential for long.

That was another thing about this whole god-damned mess that royally pissed off the doctor . As though Jim hadn't been put through enough, Starfleet Command seemed desperate to somehow pin this whole fucking mess on Kirk. They were questioning Jim's loyalties, questioning his character, and all while the man had been practically on death's door and unable to defend himself. Leonard had been called into only one debriefing as a character witness, and it hadn't been pretty. Security had had to escort him out. He hadn't been called again.

What he didn't understand was why. Sure, Jim and Starfleet Command had never been on the best of terms, and Jim had been in a spot of trouble even before Marcus had come along. Had Jim made mistakes? Yes. But how could he know what was going to happen? Was he supposed to be some kind of mind-reader and guess what Marcus had been planning all along? Had the young man gone into the mission half-cocked and emotionally compromised? Maybe, but he was only human, damn it! Jim had done the best he could in a completely fucked-up situation, he'd died to save his crew. They should be treating him like a fucking hero! Instead, they were nearly treating Jim like he was the traitor instead of Marcus.

Leonard pulled up the last file and then stood so that Spock could take his place. The Vulcan looked at each scan carefully, comparing the oldest scans that had been taken about six months ago at his last physical exam, to the ones taken just after he'd been removed from cryo-stasis and given a transfusion of Khan's blood. Even now, McCoy winced at the obvious damage shown in the scans, but each subsequent scan showed gradual improvement. Until finally the last one, the one McCoy had taken this morning, which looked identical to the one taken six months ago.

"Satisfied?" Leonard asked, and the Vulcan nodded.

"Yes, Doctor. Thank you." Spock rose and started to move around McCoy as though he meant to leave. But Leonard blocked his path, earning him a raised eyebrow from the Vulcan.

"Now, you want to tell me what this is really about?" he demanded, fully prepared to stand here all day if need be until Spock spilled it. Something in his expression must have conveyed that, because the Vulcan's eyebrow managed to hike just a bit higher before it finally lowered and he sighed almost inaudibly.

"The captain called me in this morning to request my advice on a certain issue," Spock began, being intentionally vague, which had Leonard glaring harder at him.

"Care to be more specific?"

"The captain was concerned with Khan's welfare, concerned that his treatment was unethical. I explained that it would not be wise to question Starfleet's decision on the matter. He seemed quite disturbed."

Leonard blinked, not sure which part to be more surprised about.

"And, what? You thought this meant he was brain damaged?" Leonard asked in bafflement. Though he could see where Spock was coming from. This was Khan they were talking about, after all. McCoy would definitely need to have some words with Jim about this later. But at the same time, it was not all that out-of-character.

The Vulcan gave him an even look.

"Not necessarily, Doctor. It is not the first time that the captain has shown compassion towards an enemy," Spock replied, and Leonard knew that they were both thinking about the Nero incident, when Jim had offered assistance to the Romulan crew in the final moments before the ship was destroyed. Leonard hadn't been there at the time, but Jim had told him about it later. Even though Nero had refused Jim's offer of assistance, the captain still felt a little guilt that he had not been able to do more to help the crew of the _Narada_.

"I thought it necessary to be certain that the captain's concerns were genuine and not possibly influenced by other factors," the Vulcan concluded, all very logically, of course. Leonard almost rolled his eyes. But he understood why Spock had asked; despite their differences, they both cared about Jim.

"All right," Leonard offered grudgingly, and the Vulcan nodded.

"You must forgive me now, Doctor. But I have a prior engagement that I must attend to." Spock said, and Leonard finally moved out of his way. Leonard followed him out of the tiny office.

They parted ways without another word, but shared a look between them that spoke volumes. They would both do what they had to in order to protect Jim. As soon as the Vulcan was out of sight, Leonard headed back to his friend's room.

Obviously they needed to talk, and Leonard felt partially responsible for this. He was the one who'd told Jim about what had happened to Khan, after all, and he had noticed the young man didn't seem very pleased to hear it. He never thought that Jim might actually be thinking about doing something about it though.

Leonard shook his head and sighed loudly. The boy had no self-preservation instincts at all.

"Jim, I need to talk to you -" Leonard began as he opened the door to Jim's hospital room, however his voice trailed off as he stopped suddenly in the middle of the doorway.

Inside the room, the bed was empty.


	6. Chapter 6

The talk with Spock had not gone at all like Jim Kirk had planned.

Oh, he'd definitely expected the Vulcan to have objections. He'd spent most of the morning trying to come up with logical reasons to give Spock why they should challenge Starfleet's ruling regarding Khan's sentence. He didn't, for one second, think it would be easy to convince the Vulcan, especially considering Spock had once thought it completely logical to maroon Jim on Delta Vega. That hadn't exactly been a high point in their relationship.

But he was certain he could convince Spock as long as he kept things like emotions and 'gut feelings' out of it, explaining that no matter what Khan had done, no matter how much such experimentation might help others, it was just plain wrong. It was unethical, and if they allowed this, it really made them no better than Khan. It might even make them worse.

He'd had all his arguments lined up. But he'd never gotten the chance to voice any of them because he hadn't expected Spock to tell him that he had a noose around his own neck.

Jim knew that Starfleet Command didn't approve of him or his methods, despite the high success rate of the _Enterprise_ 's missions. Nibiru had just given High Command the reason they were looking for to take the _Enterprise_ away from him. They had been prepared to send him back to the academy for Christ's sake! Jim was well aware that Admiral Pike had to pull some serious strings just to get Jim assigned as his first officer.

Maybe Admiral Pike was right and he wasn't ready for the chair, because clearly Jim was a fool. He'd foolishly thought that Starfleet Command would have bigger things to worry about right now. He'd foolishly believed that High Command would realize they all needed to work together after this mess and not be at each other's throats.

He never thought they'd try to peg him as a traitor.

Inexperienced? Maybe. Insubordinate? Sometimes. Reckless? On occasion. But a traitor? How could they possibly think he'd somehow been in league with Marcus? It was insane.

It made Jim feel nauseous just thinking about it.

Was it being done deliberately to attempt to 'control' him?  To keep him from rocking the boat, as Spock had put it? Like a disobedient dog on a leash, all they had to do was yank on his chain to bring him to heel, threaten to take away his ship to make sure he 'behaved' himself. They could do it, too - put him on some kind of indefinite probation, the second he stepped out of line...

Jim's hands curled into fists and his breath quickened as anger began to overshadow the shock he'd felt at Spock's words.

Basically, he had two options. He could do as Spock suggested, keep his mouth shut, forget about Khan as everyone else seemed to want to, and hope all of this blew over. Or he could try to help a man he had every reason to hate and commit what amounted to career-suicide in the process.

Jim silently debated for a long time before deciding he didn't have enough information. He couldn't go into this unprepared, there was too much he could lose if it blew up in his face.

Jim had no proof that Khan had ever been mistreated by Admiral Marcus. The man said he'd been used, exploited, his crew threatened, but he could have been lying, and whatever sympathy Jim might feel in regards to Khan's situation might be based on false assumptions. While he supposed not knowing whether Khan had been mistreated before didn't have anything to do with whether he was being mistreated _now_ , having the full story might make Jim a little more inclined to go out on a limb for the guy.

He was only human.

Besides, if it turned out that Khan had been lying, it would only be that much harder for Jim to make any arguments for leniency. A lot of Jim's arguments depended on the fact that Khan had just been reacting to events that Admiral Marcus had already set into motion. It might not excuse anything Khan had done, including all the innocent people the man had murdered in his quest for revenge against the man who'd wronged him, but since Starfleet Command seemed so eager to fling blame and punishment around, they should at least be aiming at the right target.

It would probably also help if Jim could somehow find evidence that Khan was being mistreated now. Sure, the whole human experimentation thing sounded bad, but maybe Jim was just assuming the worst. Maybe Khan had even agreed to it. Some kind of plea bargain as a more appropriate sentence for his crimes, or something.

Jim wasn't exactly sure how to feel about that, to be honest.

All right, so he needed to find out exactly what had happened at Khan's trial, or lack thereof. He needed to find out more about Khan's involvement with Marcus. And he needed to find out more about these experiments, or whatever the Science Division were planning. Piece of cake.

Riiiight.

Spock had said all the information Starfleet had on Khan was classified. Which meant they sure as hell weren't going to give it to him no matter how nicely he might ask. Realizing what his next step needed to be, Jim began removing the various sensors attached to himself with determination. The easy part completed, he then pushed down the covers draped over him and shifted his legs so that he was now sitting on the edge of the bed.

Immediately he was hit with a wave of dizziness and various aches throughout his body that had been quiet until now made themselves known. Jim took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing the feeling of vertigo away. Maybe Bones had a point about that whole physical therapy thing after all.

A part of his mind chirped that doing this now was a really bad idea. It was midday. The hospital would be swamped with doctors, staff, and patients. A nurse, maybe even Bones himself, would probably come by shortly to bring him his lunch, and if he was discovered missing, there would be hell to pay. It would be a lot smarter to wait till the middle of the night when his absence would probably go unnoticed for a few hours at least. Plus it would give his body a few more hours to recover which may make thing easier.

But if he waited, he would be stuck lying here, doing nothing, and driving himself insane like he had last night. What he needed to do, he couldn't do from his bed. There was only so much he could learn with a simple data pad with limited encryption capabilities. He needed an actual computer terminal and at least a few hours of privacy if he were going to try to hack that kind of top-secret information out of the Starfleet database and not get caught in the process. Plus, if he didn't do this now, he might not get a chance later. Time was against him in every sense. Starfleet Command already had the noose around his neck, he wasn't just going to sit and wait for them to kick the chair out from under him.

Nodding to himself and steeling his determination, Jim put his feet on the floor and stood up for the first time in weeks. Or, at least, he tried to. His knees began to buckle almost as soon as he tried putting weight on them and the vertigo increased tenfold. Jim closed his eyes and clutched at the side of his bed for support, breathing steadily and praying for the feeling to pass soon.

It didn't. Not completely, at least. But enough that he didn't feel like he was going to throw up or fall on his ass any second. Carefully, Jim opened his eyes and took a steadying breath before he tried a single stumbling step. It was almost like his legs didn't remember how to function properly anymore and his nerves were going crazy, shooting pins and needles all up and down his legs, back, shoulders, and arms. But he managed a few more steps, each one a little surer, and when he reached the end of the bed, he let go of its support. He swayed a little but remained upright.

Good enough. He was hoping he wouldn't have to go very far anyway.

Jim made it to the door and cracked it open to peer into the hallway beyond. The area was clear for the moment so he slipped out of his room and made his way down the hall as quickly as he could. He reached out to the wall for support whenever he needed it, though by the time he made it to a nearby medical supply closet, he was already sweating heavily and his hands were shaking.

He quickly found what he'd been hoping for, a pair of doctor's scrubs that would be a lot less conspicuous than the flimsy patient nightgown-thing that left his ass hanging out he was currently wearing. He changed into the new clothing as quickly as he could, and further searching of the closet produced another welcome find: a medical cart filled with already prepared hypos. Jim chose one filled with a stimulant that he recognized and quickly injected himself. Bones was definitely going to kill him for this, but Jim didn't regret it as he immediately began feeling better. His head felt clearer as his nausea began to fade almost immediately, and he was much steadier on his feet. His hands even stopped shaking.

Jim pocketed a few more hypos just in case he needed them later and quickly left the supply closet. A nearby public terminal was able to give him the hospital directory, a detailed map, and with a few extra lines of code it was simple enough to find what he was looking for. Jim took the lift to the floor he needed and made his way to the office the computer pointed him to, the one belonging to a certain Dr. Danielle whose shift was not scheduled to begin for at least six hours. Should give Jim plenty of time.

He broke into the office and made his way to the desk where the computer terminal waited for him. Jim felt exhausted as he sank into the surprisingly cushy chair, but he was energized as well. So far so good. Jim powered on the terminal and cracked his knuckles. Show time.

First he hacked into the hospital's security system and made sure to erase any evidence of his little stroll around the hospital from the security feeds. Satisfied he wouldn't be interrupted, Jim then proceeded to break into the Starfleet high security servers. Hopefully it wouldn't take him more than a couple of hours.

Three hours later Jim was beginning to doubt his skills, or wonder if the files he was looking for hadn't just been classified, but destroyed. No, Starfleet was way too anal for that, they had to be somewhere. He just had to dig a bit deeper than he anticipated.

Finally he hit the jackpot.

It was the recording of Khan's hearing, and Jim had found it almost by accident. It hadn't been filed using Khan's true name, or his alias of John Harrison, just a random case number, and the only reason Jim had found it was because it was one of the few hearings within the time period that didn't have a corresponding court date attached to it. Jim quickly checked the hospital's security feeds, and though there did seem to be some increased activity, it was nowhere near the office Jim was currently hiding in. Deciding he still had some time, Jim settled in to watch the recording.

Jim recognized several in attendance. Admiral Cartwright seemed to be overseeing the proceedings. There was also Admiral Robert Bennett, Admiral James Komack, Admiral Richard Barnett, and several others that Jim only knew by reputation in attendance. It was far different from Jim Kirk's own hearing held with regards to his 'cheating' on the Kobayashi Maru scenario. God, that seemed so long ago now. Then the whole assembly room had been filled to capacity with Starfleet cadets and instructors. But Jim could only count twenty of Starfleet's highest ranking members in attendance for Khan's hearing. Given what Spock and Bones had said about the top secret nature of it all, Jim wasn't too surprised.

It did make him wonder where Bones had gotten his information from, though. He would have to ask the doctor later... probably long after Bones was done chewing him out.

Jim focused as best he could on the legal jargon, though he only understood about half of it. He made notes of certain references that he could look up later if he needed to. Finally the list of charges was read into the record and the camera panned around to show Khan for the first time.

In spite of himself, Jim found himself clenching his fists, his breath quickened and for a moment all he saw was red. Because suddenly Jim was back on the _Vengeance_ , beaten and gasping for breath on the cold metal floor while this...monster...threatened to kill him and the rest of his crew if Spock didn't comply with his demands. He swore he could feel the phantom ache in his ribs from the vicious kick delivered to silence him when he'd tried to tell Spock not to give the bastard what he wanted. Of course he hadn't known at the time the trick Spock was planning.

_"Well Kirk, it seems apt to return you to your crew. After all, no ship should go down without her captain."_

That had been the last time Jim had seen Khan, until now. Now...

Jim blinked. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He forced himself to focus on what was happening right now, and not in the past. Jim would have plenty of time to deal with that later. He might not have much more time to view this footage...and now that he allowed himself to admit it, the man on the screen in front of him bore very little resemblance to the man Jim remembered.

Khan was dressed in a simple gray prison-issue uniform. His hands were shackled in front of him in restraints similar to those Jim had used to transport him to the _Enterprise_. But there were also restraints around the man's biceps and torso holding him almost completely immobile, as well as shackles around his ankles which made Jim wonder how he'd even been able to walk into the hearing. The shackles also seemed bolted into the floor for good measure. A little excessive? Especially with the two armed security guards flanking Khan? Perhaps with anyone else Jim would have said yes. But this was Khan. Jim knew the only reason they'd been able to take Khan aboard the _Enterprise_ so easily was because he wanted to be there. If the man had wanted to escape...

But just looking at the image on the screen in front of him, escape seemed to be the last thing on Khan's mind. He looked...tired. Which almost seemed impossible to Jim, having seen Khan in action. He'd watched as Khan single-handedly took out an entire squad of Klingons without so much as breaking a sweat and then endure the beating Kirk had given him without leaving a mark on him. But now there was an unmistakable weary hunch to Khan's posture and that aura of arrogance and superiority he'd always given off was just...gone.

Khan didn't even meet the eyes of those around him. His head was tipped down, his dark hair falling into his face as his eyes stared vacantly at the floor. The man looked defeated. Broken. Like he'd lost ...everything. Everything Jim knew about the man, it just didn't seem possible. Unless...

Shit. Had no one told him? When the torpedoes had detonated and taken out the _Vengeance_ , even Jim had believed that Spock had killed Khan's crew. Until Bones explained otherwise.  If no one had told Khan, then he must think they had all died when the torpedoes exploded. Was that all it was? Grief? It almost didn't seem possible. Not because he believed that Khan couldn't feel grief, but because Khan had once before thought his crew dead, killed by Marcus. And in response, Khan had waged a one-man war against Starfleet and almost won! Why would he simply give up now?

Jim watched Khan carefully, Only half-listening to one of the Starfleet admiral's droning on about a long list of regulations that Jim knew he should be paying attention to but wasn't. There was something he was missing. He just couldn't put his finger on it...

"Commander John Harrison. Do you wish to enter a plea of guilty or innocent at this time?"

Admiral Cartwright finally spoke to Khan directly. Not surprisingly, Khan ignored the man as he'd ignored everything else happening around him until now. It wasn't until one of the security officer's jabbed Khan sharply in the back with his rifle and Khan stumbled - actually stumbled forward slightly - that Jim realized what it was. It became more obvious as Khan finally lifted his head and Jim finally got a good look at his face.  There were bruises... actual cuts and bruises marring the man's pale, almost gaunt, features and it wasn't just grief in those ice blue eyes. It was pain. Physical pain.

"I ask you again, Commander Harrison. Do you wish to enter a plea of guilty or innocent at this time?"

Khan's eyes hardened with a brief flash of that familiar rage Jim knew so well and he actually felt a chill go down his spine. But Khan remained silent. Why didn't he say something? Anything?

"Commander Harrison, since you do not dispute these charges, I shall assume your plea is guilty and therefore you waive all rights to a trial..."

Jim stopped listening after that. It was a farce anyway, a mockery of justice. The recording ended not long after that and for a long time Jim could only sit staring at the blank screen in front of him. He was stunned by what he'd just seen.

Khan's face was now irrevocably branded into his memory.


	7. Chapter 7

He was a doctor, dammit, not a babysitter.

Though when dealing with one James T. Kirk, Dr. Leonard McCoy often felt like one.

"I'm going to kill him," Leonard muttered darkly under his breath as he practically stalked down the hospital corridor. Certainly no one would blame him for it. In fact, he could probably claim it was self-defense, since it seemed to be Jim's lifelong mission to give him a heart attack before he reached forty-five.

It was times like this that he wondered how the hell he and Jim had become friends in the first place.

Leonard had patients to look after. He didn't have time to play-hide-and seek through the whole damned hospital. He assumed that Jim was still around somewhere, even though he had no proof that he was. But if it turned out that Jim _wasn't_ in the building anymore, then he really was going to kill the boy. Or at least make him wish he were dead again.

Quickly following that thought a sharp stab of grief twisted in Leonard's chest, making him want to hit something. Namely, Jim Kirk, but he settled on the wall next to him. Damn the man! Damn him to hell for doing this to him.

It had been four hours since he'd met with Spock, gone to his best friend's hospital room to confront him about whatever mad plan Jim Kirk was undoubtedly cooking up in that crazy head of his, only to find that he was too late. Jim was gone. Gone, not forty-eight hours after waking up from a two-week long coma, which could have affected him in ways no one knew. Gone, after undergoing experimental treatment using genetically altered blood from a madman in a desperate attempt to save his life. Gone, before it was known if there would be any unforeseen negative side effects. Gone, after Leonard McCoy had seen his best friend cold and dead on a fucking slab following fatal radiation poisoning. Despite all of the scans he'd taken showing him how the damage to his friend had been healed, Leonard could still not forget that, ever!

Not to mention gone, not ten minutes after Spock had come to him, asking to help determine whether or not Jim Kirk was being 'influenced' as he'd so politely put it. Brain damaged. Brain washed. Whatever. Either from the radiation damage or Khan's blood or both.

It didn't just look bad. It looked like a fucking disaster.

God damn him. God damn that bastard for doing this to him.

Leonard wished he could blame brain damage for Jim's actions, but the truth was, this cluster fuck was completely in keeping with James T. Kirk's style. He'd completely ignored Leonard's medical advice even though all Leonard wanted was to keep Jim safe and healthy and fucking alive! Now he'd probably run off half-cocked on some crusade without a thought to the possible consequences, uncaring of how it would look if he suddenly turned up missing when the top brass were already looking at him sideways. Not giving a damn how his actions would affect those closest to him...

Leonard blew out a frustrated breath through clenched teeth.

All right, that last part was a bit unfair. Because Jim _did_ care. In fact, sometimes Leonard thought he cared too much. Like about Khan. Of all people, why _Khan_? The man was a monster! Why should anyone care what happened to him?

But apparently, for some reason, Jim did. And Leonard cared about Jim, which was why, instead of alerting security when he'd found that Jim was missing, Leonard decided to try to find his wayward patient himself. He'd steered away any nurses or visitors who tried to enter Jim's room, something that was getting more difficult to do the longer Jim was away from it. Leonard hadn't even called the green-blooded bastard to let him know that maybe he'd been right after all...

Leonard still kind of blamed Spock for starting all this mess. Jim hadn't pulled his disappearing act until after he'd spoken with the half-Vulcan. Just what the hell had Spock _said_ to him?

But that had been four hours ago now, and Leonard was running out of options. What if Jim was hurt? He'd told Jim that he needed bed rest and physical therapy for a reason, god damn it! His body wasn't well enough yet to be put under any kind of strain. Jim could easily lose control of his motor functions at the wrong time, fall, hit his head, break something. He could put too much strain on his heart and go into cardiac arrest at any time, or rupture a blood vessel in his brain...

Leonard was going from pissed off and worried as hell to practically panicking the longer Jim was missing. So after looking everywhere he could think of for the man, it was completely understandable that Leonard McCoy lost it when he opened the door to his own 'office' and found Jim sitting at his desk.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Leonard shouted, uncaring of how his voice carried out into the hall before he slammed his office door closed once more.

Jim had the good grace to look slightly apologetic. Though not nearly enough in the doctor's opinion, and the only reason why Leonard didn't punch the man in the face - as he'd been itching to do for the last four hours - was because he noticed how pale Jim was and how his hands trembled slightly where they rested on his desk. Actually, it made him want to punch Jim even more. But he was a doctor first. So instead of punching the other man, he cursed fluently as he stalked over to his friend with his scanner already in his hand. Maybe he would still punch him later, once he was certain that Jim wouldn't keel over at any second.

"What the hell have you done to yourself now?" Leonard demanded, frowning deeply at the irregular heartbeat reading he was getting.

"I'm fi - ow! Hey!" Jim pouted at him like a child as he rubbed the back of his head where Leonard had smacked him. He might not have punched the man - yet - but he definitely deserved that much.

"If you dare tell me you're fine, I'm going to strap you down in your bed for the remainder of your stay in the hospital and assign Edna as your personal nurse from here on out," Leonard threatened, and despite how pissed off he was at Jim right now, he still almost laughed at the look of horror that appeared on the younger man's face.

"You wouldn't."

Nurse Edna was by far the oldest nurse that was on staff, at age 86, with a rather strict bedside manner, and one of the few nurses on staff who was completely immune to Jim's so-called 'boyish charms'. She was always professional, but she wasn't above prescribing unpleasant but harmless treatments for patients who stepped out of line. Jim would be in hell.

"Try me."

Jim heaved a sigh and reached into the pocket of his 'borrowed' clothing and placed a couple of hypos on Leonard's desk. "I took some stimulants so I could- ow! God damn it, Bones!"

Leonard was completely unfazed by Jim's glare as he rubbed the back of his head a second time. He simply went back to scanning the younger man and then cursed at the results.

"All right. You wait here while I go get a stretcher to get you back to your room, and I swear to god if you're not in that chair when I get back, I'll kill you myself." Leonard's voice was deadly serious. He turned to go, only to be stopped by Jim's surprisingly strong grip on his arm.

"Bones, wait. I need to talk to you."

"Not now, Jim. I..."

"Yes. Now," Jim said firmly, and it wasn't Leonard's best friend talking now, it was his captain. Sometimes it still surprised Leonard whenever that happened. One minute he was just Jim, the kid from Iowa who was too damned smart and too damned reckless for his own good, the next, James T. Kirk, Captain of the _Enterprise_. Jim was the one with the wild stories, some of which Leonard had been a part of. Jim was the one Leonard had gotten drunk far too often with during their Academy days, and who always listened while he complained about his ex. Jim was who drove Leonard up the wall disregarding his own health, yet had always been there for him. Captain Kirk was a title that, despite what Starfleet Command might be saying lately, Jim had earned. Captain Kirk, who despite his boyish looks and often carefree attitude, commanded the respect of every single member of his crew. Because he had earned that as well. Especially from his friends.

So Leonard McCoy shut his mouth and waited. Jim in return gave him a small, grateful, smile that soon slipped off his face, to be replaced with a very serious look.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I was up to. I knew you would try to stop me..." Jim began and Leonard had to almost literally bite his tongue to keep quiet and let the younger man finish. Not that his thoughts weren't written clearly in his expression judging by the way Jim winced a little then rushed to continue.

"Spock said to let it go. That I've got a target painted on my back for some reason. But that just made me want to find out what the hell is going on even more. I knew a Starfleet Medical hospital would be tied into the network, so I found a terminal and went looking for information on Khan. I was hoping to find more, but at least I found the recording of Khan's hearing."

Jim held up a small data disk.

"You said that Khan pleaded guilty to the charges, so there was no need for a trial. That's not what happened, Bones. Khan didn't plead guilty. He didn't say a damned thing, and something wasn't right about him. He looked hurt, or, I don't know... But the whole thing was a complete farce. I don't even know why they bothered to hold a hearing at all."

Jim shook his head with an expression of disgust.

"I couldn't find any more info on Khan, so I tried to look up information on Marcus. I know the 'official' story they're running with, but I figured unofficially, they had to be doing some kind of inquiry. Section 31? The Jupiter construction site? Advanced warships and weapons? If Marcus really did all of that without the rest of Starfleet knowing about it, they had to be trying to find out just what the hell the man had been up to right?"

"But I couldn't find anything, Bones. Not one damned thing. And the longer I searched, the more I couldn't help but wonder how the hell Marcus managed to do any of it without alerting Starfleet? Just the manpower and materials alone needed to create his weapons and the _Vengeance_... You can't hide that, and _no one_ is asking questions."

As Jim talked, a cold knot began to form in Leonard's stomach which only grew larger the longer Jim went on. Because Jim was right. It didn't make any sense. But if Jim was right...

"Someone had to know, Bones. Maybe a lot of someones. Now they're trying to cover their tracks. Make it all disappear. All this shit about my 'fitness' to command the _Enterprise_ , they're trying to shut me up. Keep me from asking questions -

"Jim... Jim... JIM!" Leonard almost had to shout to get the other man to shut up. "Stop. Just stop. Can you even hear yourself? This all sounds like clinical paranoia..."

"It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you," Jim stated without humor, and McCoy didn't blame him because none of this was funny. At all. In fact it was downright dangerous.

"What if you're wrong?"

"What if I'm right?"

And that was the really scary part. Because Jim Kirk might be hot-headed and jump to conclusions from time to time, but he wasn't stupid, and he wasn't paranoid. At least, he'd never been before. But his friend had gone through a traumatic experience, and what if the treatment Leonard had given Jim - Khan's blood - was having negative side effects on the man's brain after all? Even if it wasn't, if someone really was out to discredit Jim, they could use this paranoia as ammunition against the younger man.

Leonard McCoy was very, very, scared for his friend right now. Because either Jim was going crazy, or there really was some deeper conspiracy within the highest ranks of Starfleet.

Leonard blew out a harsh breath through his teeth and rubbed his face with his hands. "What are you going to do?" he finally asked, very reluctantly.

"I need to find Khan."

"What?! Are you out of your...?" Leonard didn't dare finish that sentence, because he was afraid of the answer. Instead he asked, "Why?"

"One, because what Marcus did to him and his crew, and what Starfleet is doing to him now is wrong. Two, he was a part of Marcus' plans, maybe from the very beginning. He might know just how far this goes. Maybe that's why everyone seems so eager to make him disappear. He might be willing to talk, given the circumstances." Jim stated simply, and damn the man, when he put it like that...

"How the hell are you going to find him?" And Leonard wasn't even sure why he asked the question, but it came out without thought. Because if he did stop to think, he probably would have told the Jim the same thing that Spock had told him: that he should leave it the hell alone.

But what if Jim was right?

"I thought you said you couldn't find any information?"

"I need to talk to whoever told you about Khan's sentence."

"What?"

"Khan's sentence. You said as part of his sentence he was handed over to the Science Division, for testing. I watched the video from Khan's hearing three times. That was never stated into the record. Whoever told you might know where to find Khan."


	8. Chapter 8

"Thank you for your patience, Mr. Spock. We just have a few more questions."

The half-Vulcan, standing at parade rest before three of the highest ranking officers in Starfleet, did not so much as incline his head in acknowledgement of the thanks, as it was completely unnecessary, and not truly for his benefit in the first place. After all, thanking a Vulcan for his patience was a little like thanking a bipedal being for standing upright on their own two legs.

Instead, Spock recognized the words for what they truly were. A warning. That the debriefing was now going to veer into...unpleasant territory.

As a half-Human/half-Vulcan who had been raised on Vulcan with little contact with humans other than his own mother for much of his life, subtle nuances like this in human speech and behavior still often baffled him despite the years he'd spent in Starfleet surrounded by humans. It was a weakness that Spock understood and diligently tried to overcome by close study of all humans he interacted with. Thankfully he was much more adept at reading such illogical cues, but his lack of understanding was still, from time to time, a source of great amusement or irritation depending on the situation and the human he was dealing with. Especially if that human was his captain and friend, Jim Kirk, who possessed perhaps the most illogical and contradictory nature of any human he'd ever been in contact with.

Surprisingly, Spock found that not to be a bad thing.

However these last several weeks had been an eye-opening experience, and he was beginning to understand why Jim displayed such a negative reaction whenever he had to deal with his superior officers. The sheer negativity, even hostility and mistrust hidden behind official polite words and actions was truly astounding. For instance, how in 'thanking' him for his patience, despite the politeness and even pleasantness of the tone was actually a sign of Admiral Cartwright's dwindling patience.

Most illogical indeed.

Especially when Spock could not understand the reason for the admiral's impatience. True, the debriefing had already been in progress for two-point-five hours, but it might not have gone on for so long if his superior officers had not kept asking him the same questions multiple times in different manners. Even Spock, who under normal circumstances was quite an advocate of thoroughness in any investigation, thought it was excessive.

But again, Spock was not completely naive regarding this particular tactic of interrogation. It was employed as a means to make the target 'slip up' as Jim would put it. A useful tool to spot possible contradictions in an untrue story.

So the only true question that Spock had was why this debriefing was being conducted more like an interrogation, and about what exactly did his superior officers believe he was lying.

"Commander Spock, after the _Enterprise_ 's mission to Nibiru you submitted a report that contradicted Captain Kirk's official log, did you not?"

The only outward sign of tension those words produced in the Vulcan was the slight clenching of his hands held behind his back.

"That is correct, sir," Spock replied, his voice completely even, giving nothing away. He was completely aware, however, that this line of questioning was veering into dangerous territory in regards to his captain.

"Captain Kirk received disciplinary action for his falsification of his log, did he not? Including being stripped of his command and ordered to return to Starfleet Academy. It was only Admiral Pike's appeals to Admiral Marcus that repealed the Starfleet Tribunal's decision and had James Kirk reassigned as Admiral Pike's first officer aboard the _Enterprise_ , correct?"

Spock was far too disciplined to allow his surprise to show outwardly but he felt it nonetheless. When he had commented to Jim that he was surprised that his punishment was not more severe, he had no idea that it in fact _had_ been more severe. If not for the efforts of Jim's mentor Admiral Pike...

"I was unaware of Starfleet's previous disciplinary decision regarding the event, but was aware of Captain Kirk's reassignment," Spock confirmed.

"And you were present when James Kirk requested that he be reinstated as Captain of the _Enterprise_ in exchange for pursuing Commander John Harrison to Kronos?"

Spock's knuckles had begun to turn white from how tightly he was now clenching his fists. So, they were back to this line of questioning then. At first, Spock had not understood why he had been called before the admiralty three separate times for debriefing, when most of the bridge crew of the _Enterprise_ had only been called once, or at most, twice.

Yet now he began to understand. Especially with the reference to his differing report to the captain's log that Jim had submitted. They hoped in his truthfulness, to somehow implicate his captain of wrong-doing.

To his shame, Spock had not understood at the time what a great sacrifice Jim had made returning for him while he had been trapped in the volcano on Nibiru and violating the Prime Directive in the process. He had not understood why Jim had felt betrayed when he had submitted his truthful report of events which had almost cost...no, had cost...Jim's command. If not for Admiral Pike's intervention and untimely death, Jim would not be in command now. Spock had not understood why Jim had done what he had until that moment in Engineering when he watched his captain, his friend, die in front of him and there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

Spock did understand now however. He had never had a friend like Jim Kirk before; someone willing to sacrifice everything important to him in order to help him. Some things were more important than rules and regulations. Spock would never forget that lesson and he would never make that mistake again. He would not lie. But he would not allow his statements to be manipulated in order to view Captain Kirk's actions in an unfavorable light. Jim trusted him to 'watch his back'. Spock would never violate that trust again.

"Are you suggesting, sir, that Captain Kirk agreed to undertake the mission to apprehend a dangerous fugitive for reasons of personal gain as part of a deal with Admiral Marcus?" Spock asked coolly, earning frowns of displeasure from the Starfleet officers sitting before him.

"Please simply answer the question, Mr. Spock." Admiral Komack said sharply, not bothering to conceal his growing impatience like the others.

"Captain Kirk requested that he be allowed to pursue the criminal, who at the time was known as John Harrison, because he was a danger to Starfleet."

"Commander Spock, to your knowledge, was Captain Kirk aware that his request to follow Harrison, and Admiral Marcus' orders to fire six dozen experimental torpedoes at the Klingon home world was not sanctioned by Starfleet, and in fact, violated dozens of Starfleet regulations?" Admiral Morrow spoke up for the first time.

Spock clenched his jaw for a moment before replying.

"The captain is well aware of Starfleet regulations."

"Then why did Captain Kirk agree to carry out this mission?"

"I cannot begin to speculate Captain Kirk's reasoning. However at the time, there was no reason to suspect that Admiral Marcus might have ulterior motives that were not in Starfleet's best interests. Furthermore, Captain Kirk later came to the decision to apprehend the man known as John Harrison and return him to Earth to stand trial, as per Starfleet regulations."

"Yes, so you mentioned in your report," Admiral Cartwright spoke up again. "Captain Kirk disagreed with Admiral Marcus' orders enough to disregard them but not enough to contact Starfleet Command and report them. Instead, taking it upon himself to change his mission parameters. That certainly seems to be in character for Captain Kirk."

Not knowing what to say to that remark, Spock remained silent.

"Admiral Christopher Pike was killed in the attack on Starfleet Headquarters by Commander Harrison, correct, Mr. Spock?"

"Yes, sir."

"Admiral Pike and Captain Kirk were close, were they not?"

"I believe Captain Kirk saw Admiral Pike as a friend and mentor, yes," Spock admitted, almost reluctantly. He remembered quite well Jim's emotional reaction at the death of Admiral Pike.

"You said you could not speculate on Captain Kirk's reasons to carry out this mission, despite its violations of Starfleet regulation."

It was not exactly a question, so Spock remained silent. Admiral Cartwright sighed heavily before continuing.

"What we are asking, Commander Spock is, in your opinion, did Captain Kirk accept this mission in order to avenge the death of Admiral Christopher Pike?"

In other words, had the captain been emotionally compromised while making command decisions? How ironic that James Kirk had once taken the command of the _Enterprise_ away from Spock for that very reason. And now, Jim might lose his command for those same reasons.

"As I said before, Admiral, I cannot speculate on Captain Kirk's reasons, only express my observation that Captain Kirk handled a difficult mission in an exemplary fashion."

Two hours later, Admiral Cartwright finally called an end to the debriefing.

By then even the half-Vulcan's patience was beginning to wear thin with the line of questioning he'd been forced to submit to. Though, his refusal to give his superior officers any 'ammunition' to use against his captain had caused no small amount of frustration among the admirals, and in turn, no small amount of satisfaction to Spock.

The Vulcan sighed softly, knowing he would have to meditate a long while to purge these negative emotions from his mind. They were unbecoming and distracted from the problem at hand: namely, what to do about Starfleet Command's unreasonable suspicions regarding Captain Kirk's motivations and actions during the mission.

But if there was one thing that Spock had discovered, it was that fear made many beings behave in an illogical manner. Perhaps that was all this was. The admiralty of Starfleet had not seen Admiral Marcus' actions for what they were - a betrayal of everything Starfleet stood for - until it was far too late. Perhaps in light of such a devastating treachery they feared making the same mistake again and were in fact only trying to be as thorough as possible in their questioning. An admirable goal, even if the repeated debriefings...interrogations...were unpleasant for those involved in them.

As long as they could find nothing concrete to use in order to place the captain's character or decisions in question...

Exiting the meeting room Spock turned on his communicator and was surprised when it beeped insistently at him, instantly indicating he had an urgent message. Unconsciously Spock quickened his pace towards the nearest transporter as he listened to the very short message that Dr. McCoy had left for him. Its brevity, out of character for the doctor, made it even more disturbing.

"Get your ass back here. Now."

* * *

Jim had been returned to his hospital bed, lying in it without restraints surprisingly, despite the threats Bones had made earlier. After his talk with Bones, Jim had gone back to his room without complaint. Well, mostly without complaint. He'd protested the idea of the doctor getting a stretcher to take him back to bed, but Bones refused to let him walk back on his own, and they'd finally compromised with a wheelchair.

Then, after the doctor had gotten him settled and the monitoring equipment had been reattached, Bones had given him a half-dozen hypos with a little more force than Jim thought was really necessary. Eventually, he'd been left alone to rest. But Jim had heard the tell-tale click from the door to know it had been locked.

That didn't surprise him, and it didn't really bother him either. Not because Jim could probably hack the door code in less than five minutes if he really wanted to, but because Bones knew that and he trusted Jim enough anyway to leave him alone after everything. The lock was probably more to keep everyone else out than to keep Jim in. It spoke of a trust that sometimes Jim didn't feel like he deserved.

Bones really was a good friend.

Although Jim already had enough proof of that when Bones hadn't immediately ordered him strapped into a straightjacket and thrown him into a padded room for the rest of his life. Because, really, his theories did sound kind of crazy and a small part of him kind of hoped that he _was_ just being paranoid.

Because otherwise there was a major conspiracy within the highest ranks of Starfleet Command, and that...that was just scary as hell.

Jim let out a long slow breath as he let his head fall back against his pillow, staring up at the ceiling of his hospital room. He was damned tired. The sleepless night before compounded with his little excursion around the hospital had drained him of just about all the energy he had. Bones had made quite the fuss about how his stupidity had probably set his recovery back by weeks. His body wanted rest, sleep, desperately but his mind was just too wired to shut down, much like it had been the night before when he couldn't stop thinking about Khan.

Jim groaned and rubbed his tired eyes with slightly numb fingers.

Khan... Damn the man. Jim almost wished he could go back to when all he'd cared about was smashing the man's face in with his fist. The almost blinding rage he'd had towards the augmented human for killing Christopher Pike had been easy to deal with compared to this. Simple. Unfortunately his anger had badly clouded his judgement until Jim had been forced to put his anger aside in order to work with Khan, however briefly. Then sometime between his death and awakening, Jim's anger had faded even more and something like acceptance had taken its place.

The anger towards Khan was still there, it had not gone away completely, but it no longer colored his every thought. Now it was muddied with other, far more complicated feelings he never thought he would feel in regards to a man he'd once hated with every fiber of his being. He was outraged at Starfleet's treatment of the augment and concerned for his well-being. He even felt guilt for some of his own actions towards the other man.

Somewhere along the line Jim had begun to see Khan not as just a cold-blooded murderer, but as a victim in this as much as Jim and his crew had been. He'd begun to second-guess himself. Khan. Starfleet. Everything. It was all a giant, tangled web that he needed to unravel. One answer just led to a hundred more questions, and right now there was only one man who could answer those questions.

Khan.

Bones hadn't told him who his source of information had been. But he hadn't told Jim he wouldn't tell him either. Jim hoped that was a good sign. He knew Bones was worried about him, and with good reason. More than just medical reasons. Bones didn't want him to get involved, but Jim was already involved, and he couldn't just ignore what he had found, what he suspected.

If he was right, there was a deeper conspiracy within Starfleet. How could he just stand aside and do nothing? How deep did the corruption really go? What were their plans? How would he ever know who to trust? Khan might not know the answers to any of those questions, but then again, he might.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend...

He needed Khan's help and Khan needed his. Their last alliance had ended...badly. Understatement. Jim could only hope that this time it would end differently. Preferably without one of them literally trying to stab the other in the back.


	9. Chapter 9

When James T. Kirk opened his eyes he was a bit surprised because he hadn't remembered falling asleep. He remembered feeling exhausted, yet his mind had been racing with ideas on what his next move should be. How he should deal with the problem of Khan and a possible conspiracy within Starfleet. Usually when he was that focused on a problem he was unable to find any real rest for hours, even days, until the problem was solved, no matter how tired his body may have been.

With a soft curse grumbled under his breath, Jim realized that one of the hypos his doctor-friend had forced upon him must have been a sedative of some kind. Must have been a strong one too since Jim had been asleep for several hours at least. It was dark outside once more, though it was impossible to tell just how late in the night it might be.

Raising a hand to rub groggily at his eyes, Jim turned his head to glance at the bedside clock to check the time, and started a little when he realized he wasn't alone in the room. Seated silently at his bedside was his Vulcan first officer.

"Spock?" Jim asked, his surprised voice still heavy with sleep, and full of questions. Mainly, what the hell was Spock doing sitting here, in the dark, watching him sleep?

"Captain," Spock responded, his own voice even and giving nothing away. While Spock's face was expressionless, as usual, Jim could sense an underlying tension in the other man.

Shit. Jim was in trouble, wasn't he? Bones must have snitched on him.

Sighing softly in preparation for the lecture he was about to get, Jim shifted his arms underneath him to push himself up into a sitting position. He didn't get that far, however, because a firm but gentle hand was suddenly on his shoulder holding him in place. Jim looked at Spock with a raised eyebrow but the Vulcan said nothing, merely proceeded to activate the bed controls that elevated the head of the bed, allowing Jim to sit mostly upright and talk to Spock face-to-face without having to expend any energy. Jim gave the other man a sheepish smile, which was not returned in any way, and Jim sighed again. Yup, he was definitely in trouble.

"Spock. I don't know what Bones told you, but hear me out -"

"Dr. McCoy was quite thorough in his explanation of the situation," Spock interrupted, placing a small data disk on the small table beside Jim's hospital bed. It was the one Bones had asked to keep so that he could watch Khan's hearing for himself. Apparently Bones had told Spock everything.

Jim let out a resigned sigh.

"So... what do you think?" he asked cautiously. Damn it. He wished Bones would have waited so he could talk to Spock himself. It wasn't that he thought Bones couldn't make a good case on his behalf, he just wasn't quite sure what the doctor thought of all this yet. What if Bones had told Spock he thought Jim was losing it? If it got out that he was mentally unstable, Jim wouldn't just lose his ship and perhaps his career in Starfleet, he'd lose everything that mattered to him. Bones wouldn't want to do that to him. Not if there was any other alternative. So it was entirely possible that this was some kind of intervention.

All this and about a hundred other worse-case scenarios flashed through Jim's mind as Spock looked at him both seriously and thoughtfully for several long moments before finally speaking.

"When you first told me you wished to find a way to have Khan's sentence appealed because it was morally wrong, I went to Dr. McCoy and asked him to view your brain scans in order to determine whether or not your concern for Khan's well-being was genuine or influenced by...other factors." Spock admitted and Jim felt his jaw drop.

Spock had thought he was crazy? Or brain damaged? Or something? Even before Jim had gone off on his whole conspiracy theory spiel to Bones? At first Jim could only feel a cold numb shock wash over him, and really, it was a blessing. Because underneath that was a sharp twisting knife of hurt in his chest. Fuck, it hurt: the idea that his two best friends might think he was insane. Only made worse by the sliver of doubt now taking root in spite of himself. What if he really were crazy?

Obviously sensing Jim's inner turmoil, Spock reached out once more to place a hand on his shoulder, this time not to restrain him, but offer comfort.

"I understand that was a terrible breech in privacy, and I apologize, Jim. But rest assured, neither Dr. McCoy nor myself saw anything on those scans to indicate that recent events had damaged your ability to reason coherently," Spock said, almost in a rush. Even as relief began to ease some of that awful pain in his chest, Jim still wasn't quite sure how to respond. "In light of that, I believe that your conclusions based on the evidence you have acquired are completely logical."

Jim blinked. What? Spock didn't think he was crazy. Did that mean Bones didn't think he was crazy either? They believed him...

That... That made things so much easier...and so much harder at the same time. Because if it wasn't all in Jim's head...

Jim's eyes locked with Spock's for a long time, gratitude reflected in his gaze, but even that did not overshadow the gravity of his thoughts. Jim could tell Spock had similar notions. All they had been through, the _Enterprise_ and her crew, all they had lost, and it wasn't over. Not yet. But they had a duty to see it through to the end. Together.

"Thank you, Spock," Jim finally said softly, and the half-Vulcan inclined his head in acknowledgment, allowing his hand to slip from Jim's shoulder once more. Jim took a deep breath and nodded, almost to himself.

"All right then. What's next?" Jim asked. Even though he had his own ideas, he wanted to hear Spock's as well.

"It is my opinion at this time that more data needs to be acquired in order to plan a successful course of action. Discretely, of course. Specifically, information on Admiral Marcus' plans, his possible allies, and the whereabouts of Khan. Dr. McCoy has already indicated that he may be able to assist with the latter. I will endeavor to collect any other information we may need in order to unravel this mystery, though it may take some time before our efforts bear fruit. In the meantime, I suggest you follow Dr. McCoy's instructions and use this time to rest and recover as much as possible..."

"Wait, hold on, you just want me to sit here and do nothing? Spock! You're going to need my help!" Jim protested, and the blasted Vulcan didn't even raise an eyebrow in surprise to his little outburst.

"Of course we will need your assistance, Captain. But you will not be able to offer that assistance unless your body is allowed to recover from its previous ordeal."

Jim clenched his jaw in displeasure. He knew that Spock was right, damn it. That little trip he'd taken, only one floor away, had completely sapped him of what little strength he'd managed to regain. He would be less than useless if he didn't rest and recover, worse, he'd be a liability. But he still didn't like the idea of just lying here in bed while his crew took all of the risks...

"Please, Jim. Trust your friends as they trust you," Spock pleaded softly, and what was Jim supposed to say to something like that? The young man sighed softly and nodded.

"All right."

Spock nodded back and stood.

"Then I will take my leave to begin the investigation immediately."

"Spock, wait," Jim called out to his first officer before the Vulcan made it to the door. Spock paused and turned to him. "Be careful."

Spock gave a single sharp nod.

"Of course, Captain."

* * *

 

The pediatrics floor of the Starfleet Medical hospital was almost completely silent at this time of night. Only a few doctors and nurses traversed the hallways, checking on and caring for their young charges. Dr. Leonard McCoy was, technically, not supposed to be here. His shift had ended hours ago. He should have been back at his quarters resting, especially since he had another long rotation scheduled to begin in less than five hours. But the hospital staff had gotten so used to seeing him here, helping out where he could whether he was scheduled to or not, that no one even looked twice at him now.

When Leonard reached the patient's room he had come here for, he paused outside the door. He drew in a deep steadying breath before he pushed open the door and went inside.

The room was dark. The lights down to only about ten percent to allow the hospital staff to complete whatever tasks needed to be done during the night without disturbing their patient. The small figure lying in the bed was utterly still. The slow rise and fall of the small chest was barely discernible underneath all the bandages and medical equipment in use to ensure that the young boy continued to breathe. That his heart continued to beat for just a little while longer.

A tall man sat hunched in a chair beside the hospital bed, his eyes never leaving its small occupant even with Leonard McCoy's arrival. Visiting hours were long over but most parents or guardians remained. The man looked exhausted and in need of rest himself, but no one had the heart anymore to try to make a grieving man leave his dying son.

The boy and his mother had been only two of hundreds of injured when the _Vengeance_ crashed into Starfleet headquarters and the surrounding city of San Francisco. The boy's mother had been one of Leonard's patients, but he had been unable to save her. Hospital security had to be called when Leonard had regretfully informed the man that his wife was dead. The mother had shielded her son from the devastation the best she could, and had little chance of surviving. But her sacrifice had ensured the boy had been less severely injured. Unfortunately it didn't seem to be enough. The boy's vitals were slowly dropping despite doctors' best efforts. It probably wouldn't be much longer now.

The man had been at his son's bedside almost constantly. Though Leonard was not the boy's doctor, he had come to check on him often all the same. He had seen the man here regularly. They spoke sometimes. Leonard offering what reassurances he could and allowing the grieving man to vent whenever he needed.

His name was Lieutenant Hal Walker. If Jim ever saw him, he wold recognize the man as one of the security officers present at Khan's hearing.

As the silence in the room stretched, interrupted only by the sounds of the life support machines and monitoring equipment, Leonard took out his whiskey-filled flask and took a small sip. Of course he never touched a drop of alcohol while on duty. But technically, he was off duty right now. Wordlessly he held out the flask to the other man. It took several long moments, but eventually the man reached out to take the flask from him and took a small drink himself. Leonard did not ask for the flask back.

"Dr. McCoy." The man said softly, acknowledging his presence.

"Lieutenant Walker," Leonard replied just as softly, even though there was little chance of waking the sleeping boy . The doctor moved around the bed to check the readouts of the monitoring equipment. There seemed to be little change from when he was last here. For now, no change was about the best they could hope for.

The worst part was, Leonard knew there was a way to save the boy. It was the same way he'd saved his own friend's life using the incredible regenerative properties of Khan's blood. He hadn't had much time to study those properties; he'd been too concerned with trying to save Jim. But he'd seen enough to guess there were probably few illnesses or injuries that Khan's unique physiology couldn't heal and recover from. If it could be replicated, it could save hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of lives.

As a doctor, he couldn't ignore that, and that's why he'd told Jim without guilt that maybe that bastard Khan could do some good as the Science Division's newest test subject. At the time, Leonard had still been angry at his best friend's near death, and having to witness so much suffering in his patients as a result of that mad bastard's actions. He still was angry, but as a doctor, Leonard took the Hippocratic Oath seriously.

Do no harm.

Unfortunately that included Khan.

When Spock had first come to him expressing his concern over Jim's interest in Khan's well-being, Leonard hadn't thought much of it, at least, not in regards to Khan. He'd been more concerned about Jim. It never even crossed Leonard's mind that Khan might be being mistreated. But after viewing the recording of Khan's hearing that Jim had uncovered, Leonard couldn't help but agree that something was fishy.

If that weren't bad enough, Jim's theories that Admiral Marcus' plans might not have died with the man made a lot more sense than Leonard would have liked. Spock even agreed that something wasn't right. The blatant cover-ups and secrecy aside, all these not-quite-accusations were certainly leaning that way, towards Jim. How long before they actually became accusations? What if Jim was right and someone, maybe an ally of Marcus, was trying to discredit Jim, or worse? Well, Leonard McCoy sure as hell wasn't just going to stand aside when anyone went after his friend, no matter who the hell they were.

Leonard still wasn't sure that he agreed with trying to get Khan's sentence reduced or whatever Jim's original plan had been before the shit had started to hit the fan, but questioning the man was probably a good idea at the very least. But first they had to find him. And as much as Leonard McCoy hated himself right now, for even contemplating using what little trust he'd gained from a grieving husband and father to manipulate out of him the information he needed, he had promised Jim...

"I'm sorry, there is still no change," Dr. McCoy finally broke the silence, indicating the medical readouts he'd just examined. The other man nodded slightly. It was nothing he had not heard before, Leonard knew. Walker took another drink from Leonard's flask before holding it back out to the doctor.

Leonard took back his flask and sat down in a second visitor's chair that had so far gone unused in the small hospital room. If Lieutenant Walker was at all surprised by Leonard's actions, he did not show it. Before Dr. McCoy could decide how to begin questioning the other man, Lieutenant Walker gave Leonard exactly the opening he needed.

"I heard that Captain Kirk regained consciousness," Walker said softly. Jim was unsurprisingly well-known, and liked through much of the ranks of Starfleet. It was mostly just Jim's superior officers that couldn't stand him, because Jim had, and probably always would, buck at authority. But to many, he was considered a hero for his part in the Nero incident and saving the planet, and now of course for the _Enterprise_ 's mission to apprehend the fugitive John Harrison and the fight with the _Vengeance_. Though most, of course, did not know even part of the true story, many had expressed their condolences to Leonard regarding his friend's serious injury and hopes for a speedy recovery. For Walker, it had seemed to help the man to talk with someone who had also experienced senseless tragedy at the hands of a madman.

"Yes. Given time, he will probably make a full recovery," Leonard responded.

"I'm glad," Walker said softly, his words were genuine, not hollow, but Leonard recognized and understood the slight note of regret in the tone. Jim had lived, yes, but so many hadn't been - and wouldn't be - so lucky.

"I spoke with Captain Kirk earlier today," Leonard began. "He was most grateful to learn that John Harrison would be...properly punished...for his crimes."

Lieutenant Walker turned to look at Leonard for the first time, almost startled. Most of Starfleet, and the general public, thought that John Harrison had died as a result of his injuries sustained in the battle over San Francisco. Leonard, of course, already knew the truth. But Walker had not known that when he had accidentally let it slip to McCoy in a fit of grief-driven rage that at least Harrison had 'gotten what he deserved'. Since that information was so sensitive, Leonard wasn't surprised by the very nervous look in the Lieutenant's expression now, and he was quick to reassure.

"Don't worry. I didn't tell him where I got the information from," Leonard said, which was actually true. "But given what happened, what Harrison did to the captain of the _Enterprise_ and her crew, I thought he had the right to know."

Walker seemed to consider this for a moment before finally nodding slightly in agreement.

"I'll be sure to give the prisoner your captain's regards," Lieutenant Walker snarled. Something in the other man's eyes made Leonard McCoy suddenly feel ill despite the fact that they were talking about Khan, the man who had nearly killed his best friend, who had killed hundreds of innocent people in his one-man war against Starfleet. But Leonard had gotten the answer he was looking for. Not only had Walker been one of the Starfleet officers in charge of Khan's detainment during the hearing, he was still somehow involved. It made sense if they wanted to keep Khan's existence known to as few people as possible. It also meant that Khan was being detained somewhere fairly close by.

Leonard gave the other man a forced smile, then stood up and patted him on the shoulder in a companionable gesture. He turned and left the room, waiting till he was around the corner before he contacted Spock on his communicator to inform him that the tracker was in place.


	10. Chapter 10

Jim hadn't seen his first officer for close to two weeks. In fact, Jim hadn't seen much of anyone. Sulu and Chekov had visited a couple of times when they were off duty, both times bringing with them a deck of cards, and the three of them had spent several hours playing poker together. Scotty had also stopped by a several times to talk to him about how the repairs on the _Enterprise_ were progressing.

But other than that, Jim hadn't had any visitors. Jim knew it was deliberate. Bones said that he was trying to keep Jim's condition under wraps for as long as possible. Apparently the admiralty had been increasingly insistent in wanting to speak with him since he'd regained consciousness. Bones was trying to prevent that, letting Jim recover as much as possible before that happened.

At least Bones did his best to keep Jim in the loop regarding what was going on outside his hospital room. The frequent reports were probably the only things that kept Jim from going completely out of his mind. But the doctor was also very tight-lipped about certain topics. Mostly, the details of how the search for Khan was progressing.

Jim knew it was deliberate. Bones probably didn't want Jim over-stressing himself or going off half-cocked. Again. Jim had promised Spock that he would wait, that he would rest and follow McCoy's instructions so that he would recover as fast as possible. He had promised he would trust Spock and Bones to handle things until he was well enough to help.

But damn, it was difficult.

At least his growing restlessness was a great motivator during his physical therapy sessions. Jim had insisted on beginning them as soon as possible and Bones had reluctantly agreed, if only to give Jim something to do so he wouldn't go completely insane trapped in the hospital.

During that time, Jim quickly realized how lucky he'd been during his first trip out and about, how easily he could have seriously injured himself. Without the stimulants, (about which Bones was still pissed off at him for taking) he probably would have. It was like his brain and body needed to learn how to work together again because of the damage both had suffered from radiation. Sometimes when he tried to walk, his legs would suddenly give out beneath him for no apparent reason. Or he'd suffer a muscle spasm, causing his whole body to jerk, to stumble, or drop whatever he was holding at the time. His fine motor control had taken the biggest hit. His hands trembled at unexpected times and he'd been unable to perform a lot of tasks that before he'd just taken for granted.

But despite how frustrating it was, Bones reassured him that he would recover. His difficulties were already becoming less and less noticeable each day as Jim recovered more of his strength. He could now sit up and stand for longer periods of time. He could even walk more-or-less on his own, as long as he didn't push himself too hard. His hands only shook every once in a while now.

Jim was practicing walking around his room (without Bones' permission, but what the doctor didn't know wouldn't hurt him) when the door opened. It was late, Jim certainly wasn't expecting any visitors, and he cursed softly under his breath, realizing he'd been caught. Bones would probably have a fit.

But when he turned around to face his visitor, Jim was surprised but pleased to see Spock standing there.

"Spock." Jim greeted his first officer with a smile. Bones quickly followed the Vulcan inside, grumbling under his breath. Jim knew immediately something was up when the doctor, other than giving him a disapproving look, didn't even comment on Jim's standing when he wasn't supposed to be.

"What's going on?" Jim asked, nervous anticipation beginning to flutter in his stomach.

"I believe we have located the facility where Khan is being held prisoner. Lieutenant Uhura has been able to gain access to the facility with the assistance of Lieutenant Commander Scott, and they have procured access codes we may use to infiltrate the site. Lieutenant Sulu is standing by with a shuttle to take us to the facility located in orbit around the Moon." Spock explained this all succinctly, and Jim felt his mouth drop open in surprise.

Uhura? So that's why he hadn't seen her lately? Scotty and Sulu knew what was going on as well? How the hell had they pulled this off? Why hadn't they said anything to him? Probably for the same reasons that Bones had been so tight-lipped. So Jim would focus on his recovery and nothing else.

"I still think this is a bad idea." The doctor finally spoke up, dropping a bag on the bed Jim hadn't noticed he'd been carrying until now. "Jim's not fully recovered yet. If this thing goes sideways..."

Jim opened his mouth, but Spock interjected before he could say anything.

"Mr. Scott has assured me that once we arrive he can ensure we receive a fifteen minute window where we can infiltrate and exit the facility with no risk of detection." Spock said with confidence.

Bones turned to the Vulcan with a scowl, and Jim decided not to get involved as this seemed to be an argument the two had been in the middle of for some time now. Instead he opened the bag Bones had dropped on the bed and pulled out the change of clothes he found inside. Not wanting to waste any time, Jim started getting dressed while his two best friends continued arguing.

"When does anything ever go to plan when Jim's involved?" Bones snapped, and Jim frowned. He wasn't a child, damn it. He wasn't going to fuck this up. But he knew Bones was just trying to look out for him so he tried not to take it personally.

"Dr. McCoy, while I agree there is some risk, unless the Captain is involved in the mission, there is little chance of success. The purpose of this mission is to verify whether Khan has any information on a possible conspiracy within Starfleet. It is unlikely that Khan will be willing to speak to anyone other than the captain given the negative...feelings...between Khan and _Enterprise_ crew members."

Jim had to admit, Spock had a point. Khan would probably have little, or no, respect for any of his bridge crew. Especially Spock. Khan sure as hell didn't like him any better, but at least Jim had the greatest authority out of all of them, and he had gotten Khan to cooperate before... to a certain extent.

Bones didn't answer the Vulcan, except to start grumbling some very impolite curses under his breath once more that Spock, with his enhanced hearing, probably had no difficulty understanding at all, though the Vulcan pretended he didn't. And Jim knew that Spock had 'won'.

"All right, fine. Let's get this damned thing over with, then," Bones finally said, and that surprised Jim more than a little.

"You're coming along?" Jim asked in surprise, earning him a fearsome scowl from the doctor.

"You're damned right I'm coming along! You'll all probably get yourselves killed if I don't!"

Jim held up his hands in surrender.

Bones stalked towards the door. "I'll meet you on the roof," the doctor threw over his shoulder before he departed.

"Spock," Jim said softly, turning to his first officer when they were alone. "Thank you."

For trusting him. For believing in him. For doing all of this... Damn...he still almost couldn't believe they'd managed to do all of this.

"Of course, Captain," the Vulcan replied seriously. All business, as usual. Jim finished getting dressed and then gave his first officer a nod.

"All right. Let's go."

Sulu was waiting for them in a shuttle on the roof of the hospital. Bones was already inside with a portable medical kit that he hoped they wouldn't need. The shuttle took off as soon as Jim and Spock were aboard.

Spock explained that, courtesy of Chekov hacking into Starfleet systems, for a few days now Sulu had been given clearance to shuttle supplies to the Starfleet Research Facility and was familiar with procedures. The teenager had also managed to arrange new identities and clearance for Uhura and Scotty who were currently aboard the space facility waiting for their arrival. Even knowing that Chekov's hacking skills rivaled Jim's own, it was still quite an impressive feat for the young Russian.

When they landed, Sulu would have clearance to remain on the station just long enough for the supplies in the shuttle to be unloaded, approximately fifteen minutes. Uhura and Scotty were there to make sure that communications and security systems would simultaneously malfunction during that time period, hiding Jim, Spock, and Leonard's activities as they searched for Khan's location within the facility.

They would have to get in, find Khan, and get out before Sulu was forced to take off again. If everything worked according to plan, no one would ever be aware of their presence aboard the space station. And maybe they would finally get some desperately-needed answers.

Jim hoped that this plan would go a lot better than the one on Nibiru had.

"Supply shuttle, clearance echo-bravo-01045 requesting permission to dock." Sulu relayed his borrowed credentials when they arrived at the science facility. Everyone within the shuttle held their breath for a few heartbeats before an almost bored voice returned over the com granting access.

"Better duck down now, sir," Sulu suggested, and Jim nodded. He moved to the back with Spock and Bones and hid behind a few crates so that they would not be seen when the shuttle's cargo hold was opened. Sulu had reassured them at this time of night there wouldn't be many staff in the docking bay, so it shouldn't be too difficult for them to sneak out of the shuttle without being seen.

As soon as the shuttle landed and the cargo doors opened, Jim, Spock, and Bones carefully slipped past the robots that began unloading the supplies. They crouched down behind some more crates stacked along the docking bay wall while they waited for Scotty's signal. It didn't take long.

"Captain, station's security and communications systems have been compromised. Yer all clear to proceed. Best of luck to ye."

"Thank you, Mr. Scott," Jim answered into his communicator then he turned to Spock. The Vulcan already had a data pad out and was studying it carefully.

"Captain. According to the station specifications provided by Mr. Scott, the most likely location Khan would be held is in this area," Spock said, showing Jim the area indicated and possible routes to reach it. Jim quickly memorized the layout and nodded.

"All right. Let's do this."

Apparently, during gamma shift the research facility was run with a skeleton crew. It was not all that difficult for the three to traverse the hallways and avoid detection as they made their way down to here Spock had said the main research laboratories were. It was starting to make Jim nervous.

"This is too easy," Jim heard Bones mutter under his breath, and the young man couldn't help but agree. For some kind of highly top-secret research facility there didn't seem to be much in the way of internal security. Or maybe it was more a case of if you had clearance to be inside, it was assumed that you belonged there. Or maybe it was more like a Starfleet archive masking the true identity of Section 31, and the biggest security advantage the facility had was that no one knew what it really was.

Whatever the case, it still made Jim feel edgy.

But they didn't run into their first big problem until they reached the main laboratory area.

"The security codes that Mr. Chekov procured do not grant access to this area of the facility," Spock announced - way too calmly in Jim's opinion - when the security pad next to the door that blocked their way made several angry sounds at them rejecting the codes Spock had entered.

"Shit," Jim muttered. They'd come all this way just to be stopped by one god damned door. "Here, let me see it."

Spock obediently shifted out of the way, giving Jim access to the security panel.

"We should get out of here," Bones, ever reasonable, insisted. But Jim just couldn't give up now.

"Bones, help me with this. Spock, keep watch," Jim ordered and Bones reluctantly, complied. He helped Jim pry loose part of the panel which gave him access to the circuitry inside. It took more time than Jim would have liked, time they really didn't have, but finally Jim managed to 'hot-wire' the controls, and the door slid open.

Inside the lights were dimmed. There were no scientists or technicians that Jim could see, apparently whatever research went on, it wasn't during gamma shift. They made their way through the laboratory, noting the various stations, but Jim couldn't begin to understand what most of the equipment was supposed to be used for. Though apparently Bones did, because the doctor looked quite impressed.

At the back of the room there was another door, which thankfully opened more easily than the first. Inside seemed to be some kind of monitoring room and several cells that reminded Jim of the brig on the _Enterprise_. All of the cells were empty...except one.

"Oh my god."


	11. Chapter 11

Jim remembered very vividly the first time he saw Khan.

He'd been hyped up on adrenaline from being nearly shot as 'John Harrison' fired through the window at his fellow Starfleet officers. Jim had been horrified at the senseless brutality of the attack and enraged at the deaths of his fellow officers (and that was even before he'd learned that Christopher Pike, one of the best men Jim had ever known, had been among the casualties). Jim had reacted mostly on instinct, his only goal to try to get that damned jump ship to stop firing somehow. His efforts to draw Harrison's fire away from most of his targets had failed, but through almost pure luck, Jim had finally managed to damage the ship enough to stop the bastard. Then as the damaged jump ship spun out of control, their eyes had met for a brief moment and Jim had been stunned by what he saw. Calm. Cold. The man's face had been utterly expressionless, even more so than his 'unemotional' Vulcan first officer's. He didn't seem surprised or angry at what Kirk had done. He didn't seem to give a damn about the people he'd just killed in cold blood. Those cold blue eyes were like...a void...

The second time Jim saw Khan was on Kronos. He looked on as the man took out an entire squad of Klingons with single-minded brutality and he couldn't help but watch in awe. Khan's speed and reflexes were beyond anything that Jim had ever seen before. Every move he'd made had been efficient, calculated, controlled. The man never missed a shot. He put down the Klingons with the same brutal efficiency that he'd killed more than a dozen Starfleet officers right in front of Jim, including his friend. Then the 'monster' had finally stood before him, face to face, appearing as calm and collected as ever. He wasn't even winded from the recent battle. And he'd stood utterly unflinching, utterly unfazed by Jim's useless attack. Like nothing could ever touch him.

The man looked far from untouchable now.

"Oh my god." The words had escaped Jim's lips before he could stop them.

If Jim hadn't known who it was they were looking for, he might not have recognized Khan. The man was lying on the floor in the center of the cell without a stitch of clothing on him. There were bindings on his wrists, chest, legs, and ankles, keeping him virtually pinned to the floor. His chest was covered with scars, obviously surgical. His entire body was flushed, covered in sweat, tense and trembling. His expression was a mask of intense pain, but he didn't make a sound.

When he'd first realized Khan was going to be experimented on as part of his 'sentence'...he'd never expected anything like this. This was...

Torture.

Jim glanced over at Bones standing beside him and saw that the doctor's eyes were wide, his mouth hanging slightly agape, horrified by what he was seeing. Spock's expression, on the other hand, was utterly closed off, which was perhaps proof enough of just how disturbed he was by what he saw. No, none of them had expected this. None of them had believed anyone in Starfleet capable of this.

"Bones..." Jim said softly, but when his friend didn't react, he repeated louder. "Bones!"

That seemed to finally snap the doctor out of it, and Bones rushed forward. It would be impossible to scan the man through the security barrier with a tricorder. But apparently some of the equipment in the observation area was for medically monitoring the...prisoner...and Bones made use of it.

Jim stepped towards the barrier.

"Khan..." Jim addressed the bound man who so far hadn't reacted to their presence. He wasn't even sure if the man was conscious or not. Jim was beginning to think that maybe Khan was unconscious after all, when the man finally opened his eyes slowly. Eyes that were so bloodshot that they looked like they were bleeding, fuck, maybe they _were_ bleeding.

"Captain." Khan's voice was hoarse and strained, but still managed to make the title sound like an insult. At least that much hadn't changed. "To what...do I owe this...dubious pleasure...?"

Despite the fact that Khan's eyes were now open, they didn't focus on anything, so different from the intense laser-like stare that the augment had always leveled on Jim before. Jim wanted desperately to ask Bones what the hell was wrong with him, but they had come here for a reason and they didn't have much time left...

"I..." Jim felt like an ass for even thinking of saying what he was about to. "I need your help."

Khan made a harsh sound, not quite a laugh.

"Of course."

Christ, how could a man who looked like he was on death's doorstep still sound so condescending?

"Admiral Marcus. I need to know what his plans were. I need to know whether or not he was working alone." Jim said, crouching down beside the barrier to bring himself closer to Khan's level. "Look, I can help you. I can..."

"You have nothing to offer." Khan's soft voice interrupted Jim. "You are powerless. You are an ant trying to hold back a flood. Everything you have ever cared about will crumble to dust at your feet. Your precious Federation will burn itself from the inside out, and there is nothing you can do to stop it."

Oddly enough, Khan didn't sound all that pleased by his ominous prediction. He sounded more resigned than anything. But before Jim could say anything, Khan's eyes rolled back in his head and the man's body convulsed violently.

Jim jumped back, startled, but he quickly recovered.

"Bones!"

"His body temperature just spiked over 106! He's having a god damned seizure!" the doctor shouted abandoning the equipment to rush over to the barrier that Spock was already in the process of deactivating. The doctor dropped down beside the convulsing man and pulled out his tricorder, then several hypos and began injecting Khan with them.

Jim stood back, not wanting to get in the way as he watched Khan's body strain against the bindings holding him down. He couldn't help but wonder if that's the reason why they were in place all along. Were they there because the man had been having seizures and they - whoever had been doing this to Khan - hadn't even bothered to try and treat them? Had they just tied him down and... left him?

Jim felt sick.

After a minute or two, Khan's body gave one final violent lurch against the restraints and then became frighteningly still. Even though Jim could see that the man was breathing...barely, Bones continued running scans over his body. But when Jim took a step forward, he was surprised when Bones suddenly jumped up and pushed him back.

"Don't touch him!"

"Bones! What the hell?"

The doctor turned to Jim with an expression of disbelief and horror Jim wasn't sure he'd ever seen on his friend's face before.

"Jim, he's got the Telurian plague!"

Jim's mouth dropped open. How the hell could Khan have come into contact with... Unless he had been infected on purpose! But why...? There was no cure. Where they trying to kill Khan?!

Looking down at the unconscious man in the cell, Jim came to quick a decision.

"We can't leave him here."

Even as he said those words he realized he had known where this was going when he first laid eyes on Khan. Hell, maybe he'd already made the decision when Bones had first told him about Starfleet's decision to experiment on him. He could lie and tell himself it was because he needed the information Khan might have and wasn't going to get it if the man died as some kind of lab rat. But in truth he just...couldn't leave anyone, even Khan, to suffer like this.

He just couldn't.

"Captain. Khan's disappearance will not go unnoticed for long," Spock helpfully reminded him, but Jim noticed it wasn't exactly a protest.

Jim looked to Bones and saw the conflict in his friend's face last for but a moment before the man's training as a doctor took over. He quickly disabled the bindings restraining Khan, then pulled out and activated a portable stasis field generator that surrounded his body. Hopefully it would protect them from the disease, as well as keep the man alive long enough until they could get him to a proper quarantine and medical facility.

Though Jim had no idea where that would be since essentially in doing this, they were becoming fugitives, escaping with a convicted criminal. They couldn't exactly take Khan to Starfleet Medical. Especially if what Jim feared, and what Khan alluded to, was true: that there was greater corruption within Starfleet, hell, maybe the whole Federation than anyone knew.

On the other hand, was Khan actually a convicted criminal if he'd never had a trial?

Once the stasis field was in place, and to Jim's surprise, Spock immediately knelt down and lifted the unconscious augment into his arms. Neither Jim nor Bones could have managed to carry Khan, but he was still a little surprised that Spock had done it without being asked, given their history. But again, these circumstances weren't exactly normal.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Jim ordered and headed for the door. Spock and Bones followed him. It did occur to Jim that carrying around a sick naked man wasn't exactly the best way to remain incognito, but as it turned out, it didn't really matter anyway.

As soon as the door that led back to the laboratories slid open, Jim's eyes widened and he had to dodge to the side to avoid being hit by a phaser bolt. By the way the circuitry sizzled where his head would have been if he had moved just a bit slower, it definitely hadn't been set to stun.

"Jim!" Bones hissed, worriedly, taking cover on the other side of the doorway.

"I'm fine," Jim reassured him, pulling out his own phaser.

"Captain Kirk," a voice from the laboratory area shouted. "You are charged with treason against Starfleet and I have been ordered to arrest you and bring you and your conspirators in for questioning. You will surrender now. If you do not, we have been authorized to use deadly force. Come out now, with your hands up."

Jim cursed under his breath, glancing at Spock and Bones.

Bones was right. This had all been too easy. Now they were quite effectively trapped. There was only one way out of this...prison...as far as Jim could see. They'd have to escape through the labs that were now swarming with the facility's previously non-existent security. And apparently a few of them had itchy trigger fingers.

They were fucked no matter how this went down. It was just what Spock had warned him about, sticking his nose where it didn't belong. Only now they had something concrete to pin on him. Treason. Aiding the enemy. He would be court-martialed for this for sure. But the worst part of it was he'd dragged Spock and Bones into this too. And what about Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura? Had they been caught as well? They were all going to go down with him for this if he didn't think of something.

Just then Jim heard a strange tapping sound coming from the wall on the opposite end of the room they were trapped in.

"What the hell..." Bones whispered and Jim began to shake his head before he realized the tapping was not random at all.

"Is that...?" Jim began and Spock finished.

"Old Morse code."

Jim had read a book on it once, a long time ago, and if he wasn't mistaken the tapping was spelling out...

"Captain Kirk. I repeat, come out now with your hands up, or we will be forced to take action."

... Stand back...

Just then the opposite wall exploded. Jim, Spock, and McCoy took cover, coughing. At the same time the room beyond opened up on phaser fire.

"Well what the hell are ye waiting for?! Don't ya know a jailbreak when ye see one?!" Jim heard Scotty yell from the direction of the now-gaping hole in the wall, and didn't waste any more time. He hit the controls that would shut the door to the laboratory and then fired his phaser at the control panel, frying the circuitry. Hopefully it would hold off the security forces in the other room for a few minutes at least.

Then Jim, Spock, and Bones ran for their new escape route.

When Scotty saw who Spock was carrying in his arms, the Scottish man's surprise was evident.

"Captain?!"

"I'll explain later! Let's get out of here!"

Uhura was on the other side of the wall waiting for them. If she was surprised by the turn of events, she didn't show it.

"This way, Captain!" she shouted and Uhura and Jim took point while Bones and Spock followed. Scotty brought up the rear.

"How did you know?" Jim couldn't help but ask, not that he was complaining about the rescue, but...

"We noticed the increasing activity in security personnel in this area and tried to warn you, but your communications were being jammed. It wasn't difficult to figure out what was going on. We knew you'd need another way out. Scotty rigged one of the phasers to self-destruct and used it and a fuel cell to blast through the wall," Uhura explained as they ran.

Jim probably would have said something very sentimental to his crew just then, something to let them know just how amazing they all were, but his body picked right that moment to remind him just why he technically hadn't yet been released from the hospital. Jim stumbled, and probably would have landed right on his face if Bones hadn't reacted quickly and grabbed him before he could hit the floor.

"Captain!"

"Jim!"

Came the chorus of concerned voices, and all he could really do was reassure then that he was fine, even if he wasn't, because they couldn't exactly stop now.

"I'm okay. Keep going," Jim ordered, his tone brooking no argument. Trusting him, his crew continued on, though Bones remained close to him as they ran.

Somehow they made it all the way to the hanger before the security forces caught up with them.

"Stop right there!" The shout was all the warning they had, and it wasn't much, because immediately following it phaser fire broke out behind them. They all dove down behind scattered supply containers for cover, and as far as Jim could tell, no one had been hit. Uhura and Scotty began to return fire. Jim handed off his phaser to Bones because his hands were now shaking too much to aim properly.

"Jim..." Bones began, but Jim shook his head sharply. Not now.

"Spock! Get Khan to the shuttle! We'll cover you!" Jim ordered, and though the Vulcan looked like he wanted to protest, Spock nodded instead. Sulu already had the shuttle powered up and waiting for them with the hatch open. Spock ran for the hatch using the supply containers for cover as much as possible while the Enterprise crew returned fire on their attackers, forcing them to take cover as well.

"Captain! Go!" Scotty yelled, and Jim almost started to protest; he wanted to see his crew safe first, but Bones grabbed his arm hard and all-but-hauled him along.

"Jim, let's go!"

Jim stumbled a few times as he and Bones ran for the shuttle, but they both managed to make it inside unscathed. Uhura and Scotty finally followed, firing their phasers the entire time. Bones continued firing from the hatch as well. They almost made it...

But then Uhura suddenly went down with a scream of pain, clutching at her thigh.

"Uhura!" Jim yelled, with a strong instinct to run back out into the firefight to get her. The only reason why he didn't was because he was nearly shoved out of the way by Spock who did just that. "Spock!"

McCoy and Scotty continued offering what cover-fire they could as Spock made it to Uhura's side and scooped her up into his arms. Spock ran back for the shuttle, and though one of the phasers clearly grazed the Vulcan's shoulder, Spock didn't so much as flinch. He made it through the hatch followed quickly by Scotty.

Jim smacked the controls to close the hatch as he called out to Sulu.

"Sulu! Get us out of here!"

The shuttle rocked a little under the phaser fire but the shields held. Sulu piloted it out of the bay and into space and they were free.


	12. Chapter 12

Jim collapsed on the floor of the shuttle. His heart was pounding so hard against his ribs he felt like it might just manage to break out of his chest. Every muscle in his body burned like there was liquid fire pumping through his veins instead of blood. His breath was loud and harsh in his ears, drowning out almost all other sound.

He was shaking, worse than he had ever been before. But then again, his body hadn't been through as much stress as it had just been through. Too much. Far too much.

Jim closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the cold metal wall behind him. He tried not to panic. Panicking would only make it worse. He just had to calm down. He just had to rest. It would pass... It had to pass...

"Jim!"

McCoy's worried voice came from right next to him. Jim heard the sound of the tricorder and forced his eyes open once more. He looked at Bones as the doctor scanned him, then past his friend to where Spock and Uhura were sitting on the floor several feet away.

Spock held Uhura gently in his lap, his arms wrapped around her protectively. Her fingers clutched tightly at his arms and Jim could see the unmasked pain in her beautiful face. He could see the ugly, partially cauterized wound marring her thigh caused by the phaser bolt set to kill. It was a bad wound. So was the one on Spock's shoulder, if the amount of bright green blood staining the Vulcan's uniform was any indication. But Spock didn't display any outward signs of pain.

Jim caught the doctor's hand that held the tricorder and shook his head.

"I'm fine, Bones..." Jim began but McCoy cut him off.

"The hell you are..." Bones tried to resume his scanning, but Jim wouldn't allow it.

"Check on Spock and Uhura. That's an order," Jim said firmly. Bones looked like he wanted to protest, but nodded, though not before reaching into his medical bag and injecting Jim with the hypo he pulled out. Immediately Jim felt his heart rate begin to slow and his breathing came a little easier.

"Keep an eye on him," Bones told Scotty who'd been hovering nearby and looking unsure of what to do. The chief engineer of the _Enterprise_ nodded and took the doctor's place, kneeling beside their captain as Bones moved to tend to the two other wounded crew members.

Wounded because of him. Because his crew had followed him, trusted him...just like his crew had trusted him when he made the decision to go after Khan on Kronos. It had been a decision he'd made fueled by the desire for revenge and blinded by his own rage, and his crew had paid the price. Just as Admiral Pike had predicted. Had Jim made the same mistake again? Maybe Jim never should have told Spock and Bones his theories. Maybe he never should have gotten them involved. Maybe he should have done things quietly, gone through the proper channels... Though how could he know what those were if he didn't even know who he could trust within Starfleet?

No. As much guilt as Jim felt seeing his friends hurt, this was different. He hadn't been acting in anger. He had put his crew in danger, as many captains had before him; it was one of the consequences of leadership, but he hadn't done it for the wrong reasons. Despite the outcome, he would not, could not regret taking action. He could not just turn a blind eye. He could not simply ignore a possible threat of this magnitude within Starfleet. He certainly could not ignore what had been done to Khan, not after what he'd seen. He could not stick his head in the sand and pretend it would all just 'blow over' as long as he didn't get involved.

Nor could he have done this alone.

It had been the right call...even if the outcome had not been as positive as he had hoped. At least they were all still alive. Maybe they should have been more careful. Suspected a trap. How had their plans been discovered in the first place? Were they all under some kind of surveillance? Had Jim's hacking into the Starfleet database been discovered? Had Chekov's? Suddenly fearful for his young Russian crew member, Jim tried to push himself up from the shuttle's floor, only to be stopped by Scotty's hand on his shoulder. Too easily. Damn it. He hated being so weak. Useless...

"Scotty, let me up. I need to talk to Sulu. Contact Chekov..." Jim tried to protest, but the other man would have none of it.

"Easy now, Captain. The lad is fine. Probably at the rendezvous point already." Scotty reassured him with a gentle pat on his shoulder.

"Rendezvous point?" Jim asked, surprised.

"Aye. In case things got all mucked up. There'll be a ship waiting there to take us off-planet," Scotty confirmed, and Jim followed the other man's gaze over to his Vulcan first officer once more. Bones was taking care of the wound on Uhura's leg and must have given her something for the pain because she now looked quite relaxed, still held securely in Spock's arms with her head on the Vulcan's shoulder. Spock glanced briefly in Jim's direction, probably having overheard part, or all of their conversation.

Jim gave the Vulcan a slight nod of acknowledgement. It seemed like once again Spock had planned for all, or at least nearly all, contingencies. It was just one of the many ways Jim had come to rely on the other man during their short but eventful friendship. Even though they didn't always see eye-to-eye on the best course of action in certain situations, between the two of them, they usually came up with something that worked. Jim didn't know what they would have done without him this time.

Now they just needed to figure out what to do next.

If they could find out what Khan knew, if anything, that would probably help a great deal. But first they needed to make sure the man lived long enough to talk.

"Where's Khan?" Jim asked, glancing around the shuttle.

"Ah...back there, sir," Scotty said, glancing back towards the rear of the shuttle. "Jim...?"

"I'll explain later," Jim said in reply to Scotty's questioning look. In truth, he wasn't exactly sure what to tell the other man. Breaking Khan out of the facility definitely hadn't been a part of the plan. But once Jim had seen the state Khan was in, simply leaving him there was not an option. Even if it did make Jim a traitor in the eyes of Starfleet, he just couldn't ignore that kind of suffering. Khan was still a criminal, a terrorist, a murderer. And probably insane to boot. He was still dangerous... It was difficult to think of the man as 'dangerous' right now when he looked barely alive, but Jim knew all too well what Khan was capable of. But no matter what Khan had done, no one deserved to be tortured like that.

If they could convince Khan to talk, tell them who had ordered those experiments, who had carried them out, the physical evidence alone would be enough to ensure that those involved would be punished. Surely Khan would cooperate that much, right? Even he would want to see his captors punished, if nothing else. Maybe in the process, Jim could convince the man to tell him about Marcus, how the Federation would 'burn itself from the inside out' as Khan had put it. Then, as long as they could find someone within Starfleet willing to look at the evidence... Right now, that was a really big if, but surely not every admiral within Starfleet was corrupt?

Khan would still go to jail for his crimes, he could never be free, not after what he'd done, but at least he wouldn't have to endure that kind of treatment any longer...if he survived.

Once more Jim started to lever himself up from the floor and once more Scotty began to protest, but Jim waved away his worries.

"I'm all right, Scotty. I'm feeling much better now." It wasn't even a lie, though the chief engineer still looked a bit doubtful as Jim got unsteadily to his feet and followed after him when Jim started moving towards the back of the shuttle. He couldn't really blame the other man for his concern. In fact, he was touched by it. But Jim wasn't made of glass, he wasn't going to break. He was just tired, that's all.

Khan was lying on the floor of the shuttle where Spock had placed him, probably in haste. Given the situation, Jim couldn't exactly blame the Vulcan for just leaving the man naked on the cold hard floor, but it still reminded Jim too much of how they'd found Khan. He couldn't hide a sharp wince of sympathy.

"Scotty, get an emergency thermal blanket, please," Jim ordered, and the other man nodded, looking just as disturbed as Jim felt.

Jim knelt down beside the unconscious man, his eyes trailing over the deathly still features that were much sharper than Jim remembered. Sure the man had sharp features to begin with, but with the noticeably deeper hollows in his eyes and cheeks, his face looked practically skeletal. Was it caused by illness, or starvation, or both? Most likely both, Jim decided, noting how hollowed the man's stomach seemed with over-defined ribs beneath skin and muscle. It was the scars that were the worst, however. There were just so many of them, up and down the man's arms and legs but especially on his chest and stomach. Some looked old, almost completely faded, but others looked very fresh, as though the stitches had just been removed. Jim's eyes followed one down Khan's shoulder and forearm that ended near his wrist. At the man's wrist there were more scars, but these were not the straight surgical lines like the others. They were deep and ragged, with fresh abrasions over top of older healed wounds. From where Khan had fought against his restraints...

Catching a movement from the corner of his eye, Jim startled slightly, not having realized that Scotty had returned. Though when Jim looked up he somehow wasn't surprised to find it wasn't in fact Scotty, but Bones who'd been standing over him. In the other man's hands was a blanket that the doctor proceeded to lay over the unconscious augment, offering the man a bit of dignity at least.

"How are Spock and Uhura?" Jim asked softly, even though there wasn't much of a chance of Khan hearing anything and waking up with the stasis field still in place.

"Resting. They'll be fine, Jim," Bones confirmed, and Jim let out a soft relieved breath. Though his eyes never left Khan.

He was quiet as he watched Bones scan the unconscious man, a little more thoroughly than the doctor had been able to do aboard the science facility. When McCoy finally finished the scan and put away the tricorder, Jim was almost afraid to ask, but he did anyway.

"Will he survive?"

"I don't know, Jim."

* * *

 

"I must say, Admiral, I am very displeased by this turn of events."

Admiral Cartwright frowned down at the comm display. He certainly did not appreciate being lectured to by an overrated lab technician. But supposedly the unpleasant man had one of the greatest minds within the Starfleet Science Division, and for some reason his superiors had decided that this man's projects were of the highest priority. Which meant that no matter what his personal feelings were towards the short balding man, he had to behave in a professional manner and make sure he got whatever he demanded.

Unfortunately, right now he was demanding the impossible.

"I assure you, Dr. Tannak, we are doing everything in our power..."

"The only reason why I agreed to allow Starfleet security forces within my lab was because I was assured that my experiments were not going to be disturbed. My experiment is at a very delicate stage at the moment. The next forty-eight hours are critical to success, years of research will be lost if I am not allowed to complete my experiment!" The doctor was visibly growing more agitated as he spoke, making his eyes seem to bulge behind the thin wire framed glasses he wore.

"I will do everything in my power to ensure the safe retrieval of your...experiment, Dr. Tannak," Admiral Cartwright reassured calmly.

Rather than appeased, however, the scientist merely looked furious. After a moment however, his features shifted into a cold blank mask.

"For your sake, Admiral, I hope that you do," The doctor stated coldly, before ending his transmission abruptly. Cartwright let out a low breath of frustration. Talking to that man was never pleasant, but...

"That guy gives me the creeps," his aid muttered softly next to him, and Cartwright threw him a disapproving look. Even though he shared the sentiment.

"Sorry, sir. Orders?"

"Issue a top priority message to all Starfleet vessels within range. Captain James Kirk is to be found and brought in for questioning regarding recent terrorist activities against the Federation. He and anyone with him, should be considered armed and dangerous."

* * *

 

When the shuttle landed, Jim was the first to exit.

Sulu had landed on the edge of a rocky cliff surrounded by tall pine trees. Beyond the cliff's edge was an even vaster forest that stretched on as far as he could see. The night sky overhead was free of any kind of air traffic, and there didn't seem to be any other ships in the area. But even as remote as their 'rendezvous point' was, Jim knew they wouldn't be able to stay here for very long. Not with all of Starfleet no doubt looking for them by now.

As it turned out, he needn't have worried.

Spock and Sulu joined him standing near the cliff's edge, supporting Uhura between them. Scotty and Bones soon followed carrying Khan on a makeshift stretcher. Once they were all gathered, Spock drew out a communicator.

"Spock to Vulcan Suurok class starship, _Va'es_. Seven to beam up."

At this point, Jim wasn't sure anything could surprise him. But he was proved wrong when materializing in the Vulcan starship's transporter room to be greeted by an old friend.

"Jim. It is good to see you again, my friend," The older version of Spock greeted him warmly.


	13. Chapter 13

Leonard McCoy had one thing to say about Vulcans, their starship med bay nearly put the facilities in Starfleet medical to shame. As a Vulcan science and research vessel in service with the Vulcan High Council, the technology was as advanced as one might expect, equipped with some things that were not even available in his own medical bay on the _Enterprise_. It had everything he could possibly need, and though the biobeds had been calibrated to handle Vulcan physiology, it had been easy enough to reprogram the equipment to handle Terran biology, even taking into account his patient's rather unique genetic makeup.

Unfortunately technology, no matter how advanced, could only do so much.

"Dr. Leonard McCoy, _Enterprise_ chief medical officer, medical log," Leonard began as he checked the biofunction monitor over the only occupied biobed in the medical bay. "There seems to be no change in the patient's vital signs. Pulse is still slow and weak. Respiration is also weak, and use of a ventilator has been activated. Blood-oxygen level has risen slightly as a result, but it is still low. Despite best efforts to lower the patient's fever, body temperature remains at 104 degrees. Patient remains in an unconscious state, brain activity low..."

Leonard put on a pair of sterilized gloves and shut off the stasis field around the biobed. He proceeded to take a blood sample as he continued his log.

"The patient has not experienced a seizure for approximately twenty four hours. Anti-seizure medication seems to be effective. Taking a blood sample to analyze viral load for Telurian plague."

Leonard took the blood sample over to the medical computer and injected a few drops into the analyzer. It took only a few seconds for the readings to come back, and he fought the urge to curse when they did.

"Viral load has increased by 2.4 percent...end log. Damn it."

Despite Leonard's best efforts, Khan was not improving. He really shouldn't be surprised. In fact, it was a god damned miracle that the man was even still alive. His immune system was putting up one hell of a fight. Any normal human would have died in less than a week. In the three days since they'd rescued the man, Leonard had only managed to stabilize his condition. The best he could realistically hope for is to make the man comfortable until...

But Khan was not a normal human, and Leonard has still had hope.

"Damn it," Leonard cursed again, turning away from the man lying far too still on the biobed. This whole situation was just so...fucked up. Here he was trying desperately to save a man who had been responsible in no small part for his best friend's death. Had been responsible for so many deaths. And for that he should hate the man...did hate the man. He had plenty of good reason to. But Khan was still his patient, so he would do everything in his power to save him. Unfortunately his best efforts weren't doing much more than slowing the progress of the disease. If something didn't change drastically, Leonard would give the man only another few days...

The doctor sighed heavily.

He heard the door to the medical bay open and wasn't surprised when he turned to see Jim walk in. The stubborn man showed up every day despite the fact that Leonard had promised to contact him if Khan's condition changed. He knew the Jim was anxious to speak to Khan, try to get some information from him if he could, but Leonard honestly didn't think that was going to happen.

"I'm sorry, Jim. But there's still no change," Leonard told the young man before Jim even asked.

Jim nodded, looking disappointed but not surprised.

"Have you found out anything new at all?" Jim asked. Leonard had been running every test he could think of to find out exactly what had been done to the augment so he would have a better chance of undoing it. But he hadn't been able to find out much, but what he had found, had been pretty startling.

"Yeah." Leonard nodded towards the medical computer. "You're not going to believe this. I can barely believe it, but as I was running tests on Khan's blood, I found traces of at least six other incurable diseases in his system."

Jim's jaw dropped.

"Six...?!"

"At least. But that's not the unbelievable part. I also found antibodies I've never seen before in his bloodstream. I think they're antibodies for the diseases he's been infected with," Leonard said, punching up the readouts on the computer to show the other man.

"What does that mean?" Jim asked as he stared at the computer terminal in a mixture of fascination and horror.

"It means, he's now immune to some of the most vicious viruses the galaxy has ever seen, and in theory, his blood could be used to create vaccines for all of them now," Leonard trailed off, an expression of disgust crossing his face. He hated himself a little for what he had told Jim that day in the hospital. How he had been glad that Khan had been handed over to the science division for experimentation. That maybe the man could do some 'good' in repayment for all the pain and suffering he had caused... At the time he'd been speaking in anger. He'd still been grieving over the near loss of his best friend, angry at all the suffering he witnessed in his patients, and the deaths of those he couldn't save. Now Leonard felt sick with guilt remembering those words.

"You mean they were using him to create cures for disease?" Jim asked, and Leonard shrugged.

"It's possible."

There was no doubt the antibodies in Khan's blood could save countless lives. Millions. Maybe even billions, all throughout the galaxy. The diseases were horrible, causing excruciating pain in those inflicted with them...and Khan had suffered each and every one. Was still suffering. Was one man's suffering worth saving billions of lives? Until Leonard had seen Khan bound and thrashing in pain in that prison cell, he might have said yes. But after having seen him? No, no cure regardless of how many it might save was worth that kind of torture.

"What about the scars?"

"I told you, Jim. I don't know what caused them. I'm a doctor, but this... It's almost like they were dissecting him while he was still alive!" Leonard exclaimed in anger.

Jim winced, probably at the mental image Leonard's words invoked.

"Let me know if anything changes," Jim said. "Spock says we should reach New Vulcan in a few hours. Maybe the healers there..."

The young man's voice trailed off, a look of apology in Jim's eyes that Leonard simply waved away. Jim probably thought he'd offended him or something. Leonard was a good doctor, maybe even a great one, but there was only so much he could do. He wasn't so fulsome that he would wish a man dead than let someone else take over if they could save him. But still, Leonard wasn't all that hopeful that the Vulcan healers could do much more than he had done already.

As Jim turned to leave, Leonard turned back to his patient. Only to let out a startled gasp when he saw that Khan's eyes were open wide.

* * *

 

It had happened so fast.

Jim still wasn't sure exactly how it had happened. Or how he hadn't expected it. He _should_ have expected it. They say hindsight is 20/20, but in this case, maybe he'd been willfully blind.

The first sign that something was wrong was when he'd heard Bones gasp sharply behind him as Jim was about to leave the med bay. That was right before all hell broke loose.

Jim barely managed to turn to see what had made Bones react in such a way. He had but a moment to register the sight of Khan's wide-open eyes, before the augmented human went insane. Sparks flew as the genetically enhanced man thrashed and tore at the biobed he had been lying in, sending the sensor cluster flying across the room to crash loudly against the opposite wall as he fought to free himself. Within seconds the augment stumbled to his feet unsteadily.

He watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Bones rushed forward, maybe intending to somehow restrain the other man. Khan struck out wildly - any other man Jim would have said blindly - but the blow was far too precise. The fist caught the doctor right on his temple and Jim wasn't sure if the crack he heard was his friend's skull or Khan's knuckles, but Bones dropped like a stone.

Jim grabbed for his communicator, intending to call for help, but he didn't get the chance. Moving far faster than a man who looked half-dead should, Khan was on him. Intense pain flared all along Jim's back as he hit the wall with bone-jarring force. His head cracked back with enough force to make Jim see stars, and unfortunately, he lost his grip on his communicator in the process.

He could already feel the warm wet drip of blood down the back of his neck, but at the moment he was more concerned with the very sharp piece of metal pressed against his throat. Khan was close enough to him that Jim could feel the heat of his fevered flesh.

"Did you think I was going to sit idly by forever?" Khan growled at him, baring his teeth, reminding Jim more of a rabid wolf in that moment than a human being.

"Khan...wait..." Jim wheezed, trying to get his lungs to function properly after having the wind knocked out of him so thoroughly. The fact that Khan hadn't yet slit his throat gave him hope he could still reason with the insane man, but that hope was quickly diminishing as the sharp edge of whatever weapon Khan had managed to get his hands on dug deeper into his skin.

"Did you think I would let you continue to harm them?" Khan hissed, practically spitting, every word dripping with venom.

Them? What the hell was he talking about?

"Who?" Jim wheezed, then hissed when the metal finally pierced his skin, causing blood to drip in a thick red line down his throat.

"Did you think we would be your tools? Your playthings forever!" The other man shouted in his face, and Jim's mind reeled. What the fuck was he talking about? Maybe the man really was insane after all... No, not insane, delirious. The fever, shit, did Khan even know who the hell Jim was? Jim wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad, since Khan definitely didn't like him all that much, but he seemed to like whoever he thought Jim was even less.

"Khan, I don't know what you're talking about. We're trying to help you..." Jim attempted to reason with the man, but he never got to finish the sentence as Khan lashed out at him. The augment backhanded him hard enough to make Jim taste blood and his head slammed back against the wall a second time, this time knocking Jim out cold.

* * *

 

Spock was standing at one of the many viewports lining the observation deck of the Vulcan starship when he felt the familiar presence enter the room behind him. He did not need to turn to look to know who it was, knowing the other as well as he knew himself. When the elder Vulcan came to stand beside him, he did not offer a greeting. This was not so much a sign of disrespect than not wanting to break the comfortable silence just yet.

They stood that way for a long time, simply staring out at the stars. But eventually the silence was broken.

"You look troubled," said his elder self.

Spock turned to the older Vulcan with a raised eyebrow.

"I am not troubled," he stated calmly, his words earning him a raised eyebrow in return. Oddly enough, the gesture reminded him of Jim. It was a look that the human often gave him when he did not quite believe what Spock was telling him, despite the fact that he'd told the young man many times that Vulcans do not lie.

Though sometimes they did not tell the whole truth.

It was still strange talking to his other self from an alternate future, seeing who he might have become if events had progressed differently. His elder self certainly had the advantage, probably knowing his younger version better than Spock knew himself, when in contrast, Spock sometimes could not see much of himself in the elder Vulcan. It was comforting, however, to see the obvious effects Jim Kirk had upon his counterpart.

Spock turned back to the window with a soft sigh.

"I have simply been attempting to understand the actions taken by Starfleet - individual members, and as a whole. I find much of what has occurred to be very illogical," Spock admitted.

His elder self made a sound of understanding.

"I too have been deeply troubled by these events. I wish I could say that it is surprising, but it is not." Spock turned to him with a mild look of surprise.

After he had agreed to help Jim try to uncover the more-than-probable conspiracy within Starfleet, he had contacted his elder self on New Vulcan to request his aid. Being one of the few allies they possessed that Spock knew without a doubt they could trust, it had been a logical choice. His elder self had agreed to help them in any way he could, but not without reminding him of his vow not to give them information that may alter their destiny.

Now Spock couldn't help but ponder those words and wonder if they possessed a deeper meaning. Had events such as this happened before? Or was his elder self simply speaking in general terms regarding the often erratic and destructive nature of human beings and those corrupted by power?

"I do not think I will ever understand human tendency to cause harm to its own people. For instance, the actions of Admiral Marcus, if successful, would have brought war that would have resulted in countless death. Jim believes factions within Starfleet have not abandoned these goals, and I cannot dispute the evidence after what I have seen," Spock said softly.

"You must remember, our species was once not so different from humans in this regard. Before the time of awakening, before we began suppressing our emotions in favor of logic, our species nearly faced the threat of extinction by our own hands. For all their accomplishments, humans are still a young species. Some still crave violence and war, but there is still hope for them," the elder Vulcan replied, and Spock nodded in agreement.

Yes, even Jim, who was sometimes quite volatile and reckless with youth, still possessed the capacity for compassion that still surprised Spock from time to time. Humans had much to learn, but they were not a lost cause yet.

Just then, the elder Spock's communicator beeped.

"Ambassador. We have detected unauthorized access to an airlock computer terminal," the female Vulcan voice said over the communicator.

There shouldn't be a reason for anyone to access a starship airlock traveling at warp speed. Spock felt himself go cold as he grabbed his own communicator.

"Spock to Dr. McCoy."

There was no answer.

Spock felt his heart begin to beat faster.

"Which airlock terminal was accessed?" The elder Vulcan asked, a tension in his voice that Spock recognized all too well. Fear.


	14. Chapter 14

When Jim came to, his head was pounding like someone had set off a fusion grenade inside of his skull. His entire body felt like he'd been trampled by a herd of Gaia yar-bear. His back ached, his jaw ached, and nausea rose up in his throat almost immediately, informing him he most likely had a concussion on top of everything else. It wasn't the first time he'd gotten his ass kicked by a pissed-off augment, but it was an experience he'd rather hoped he'd never have to repeat.

Despite knowing how unpleasant it was going to be, Jim forced his eyes open. To be honest, he was a little surprised he was still alive. But even trying to be prepared for anything didn't dampen his shock at what he discovered when his vision cleared enough to make out the situation he was in. By the looks of it, he was trapped inside an airlock. Definitely not a place anyone with any amount of sense wanted to be on a starship in the middle of space without some kind of space suit. And he wasn't alone.

Khan paced back and forth along the length of the small space, and quite frankly, he looked like death warmed over. The man was so pale his skin was practically translucent and he was sweating profusely. His dark hair fell across his brow and into his eyes which were unfocused and glassy. Jim could hear the man muttering softly under his breath, but he couldn't understand what he was saying. What Jim could make out didn't make much sense. Khan's pacing was unsteady, and honestly it was probably sheer willpower keeping him on his feet more than anything else.

Not good. Definitely not good. But the fact that Khan hadn't killed him yet, gave Jim some hope he might still be able to reason with the man. Slowly, Jim began to lever himself up from the cold floor. The moment he moved, however, Khan froze. The augment didn't look at the younger man, but Jim had little doubt that Khan knew every move he made as he slowly pushed himself up. Jim made sure to keep his hands visible and tried to appear as non-threatening as possible.

Not that it would do any good if he did try to attack Khan. The augment had already proved that much. Even as sick as the other man was, he was still far stronger than a normal human being. Khan was far from helpless, even if it appeared like a strong wind might knock him over.

They should have been prepared for it, but Bones had been reluctant to use tranquilizers on the man to keep him unconscious because they might interfere with his body's natural immune defenses, or push him into too deep a coma and kill him in his weakened state. Maybe it would have been smarter to keep the other man restrained. But after the way they had found Khan...Jim hadn't wanted to treat the man like...that. He hadn't wanted to make him think they were no better than the butchers they'd rescued Khan from. He'd hoped that by treating Khan like a human being for once, it might foster good will, and Khan might be more willing to help them.

It wouldn't be the first time his sense of compassion (or maybe just stupidity) would almost get him killed.

"Khan..." Jim began, though he wasn't quite sure what to say after that. He kind of wanted to know what the augment was planning. Why they were in this damned airlock? What had he been ranting about in the medbay before? But he wasn't exactly sure how coherent Khan was right now. Jim didn't want to say anything to set him off again...especially when the man was still clutching that piece of sharp twisted metal (probably a scrap from the biobed he'd destroyed) tightly in his hand. He'd almost slit Jim's throat with it once already.

Khan didn't answer him, but he did begin pacing once more. He looked agitated and still did not look at Jim at all, but the captain's eyes never left Khan. Jim noticed that Khan was breathing hard, very hard in fact. Between the muttering, Khan made a sick rattling sound with every harsh exhale, and Jim remembered how Bones had said the augment's lungs had been failing. As if on cue, Khan coughed hard, nearly doubling over in fact, and when the fit ended and the man straightened, wiping his mouth, blood stained his fingers and mouth.

Shit. Despite his better judgement, knowing how it might make him appear more threatening, Jim got to his feet, swallowing back his own nausea and ignoring how the room tilted dangerously. Khan had frozen again, and this time he did look at Jim. The naked rage burning in those fever-bright eyes almost made Jim back away, but the young man swallowed hard and stood his ground.

"Khan, listen to me. You need medical attention..."

"If you attempt to touch me, I will rip off your hand," Khan growled at him dangerously, before he resumed his painful pacing around the small space. He reminded Jim of a panther caught behind the bars of a cage, all pent-up restlessness and aggression. Jim certainly wasn't going to put Khan's threat to the test. Khan hadn't told him not to speak, however.

"Do you know where you are? Who...who I am?" Jim decided to take a different approach. The contemptuous glare that the older man threw him was very familiar but didn't really answer his question.

"Look, we're not trying to hurt you. We're trying to help you. If you don't get treatment, you're going to die," Jim stated the obvious, but he wasn't quite sure if, in this state, Khan realized that. The dark chuckle that escaped the other man's lips gave Jim his answer even before Khan spoke.

"Everyone dies, Captain," Khan answered far too calmly for Jim's liking, though the man still made sure to spit out Jim's rank like a curse. But it was the first sign that Khan gave that he recognized exactly who Jim was, and that maybe he was more lucid now than he had been before. Though not by much.

"Are you saying you want to die?" Jim asked softly, not sure he really wanted to know the answer. It hadn't really occurred to him before now that Khan might be suicidal. Insane, sure. Suicidal? But the man wasn't exactly in his right mind at the moment, and all the evidence suggested he had suffered severe physical and probable mental trauma during his imprisonment. Being locked inside an airlock with Khan had been an unpleasant notion before, but if the man really was suicidal...

Khan had stopped moving again. In fact he stood almost unnaturally still.

"Khan, what are you going to do?"

The man looked at him once more, but instead of rage, there was an icy calm in those too expressive eyes.

"Repay a debt."

* * *

Ambassador Spock immediately ordered security to the airlock in question, while he and his younger self went to the medical bay. Not for the first time, he hoped he was wrong about what they would find when they got there. As soon as they arrived however, those hopes were dashed.

The medical bay was in ruins, and Leonard McCoy lay unconscious on the floor in the middle of the rubble. He had been afraid that something like this might happen. Even injured, the genetically altered human was dangerous to the extreme, and untrustworthy. He had been shocked, to say the least, when he had seen exactly who the _Enterprise_ crew had brought with them when they'd beamed aboard the _Va'es_. He tried to warn Jim. As soon as he had a moment alone to speak with his old friend, he'd tried to explain the terrible risk he was taking without breaking the vow he had made not to interfere with the events of this timeline by divulging information about the one he had come from.

But no matter what he said, Jim just kept repeating one thing.

_I couldn't just leave him there._

Now as he watched his younger self rush to the fallen man's side to determine whether or not Dr. McCoy was still alive, he could only hope Jim would not come to deeply regret his decision. His younger self checked the doctor's pulse and Spock let out a small sigh of relief when the young Vulcan confirmed the human's life signs. Dr. McCoy groaned softly when the younger Vulcan shook him slightly, and the young Spock helped him to turn over and sit up. Ambassador Spock winced slightly at the deep purple bruise forming on the side of the human's face and didn't envy the headache the doctor must be experiencing at the moment.

"Dr. McCoy, can you tell us what happened?" he asked.

The human grumbled some very unflattering expletives under his breath and shook his head.

"I don't really know. There's no way he should have been conscious, much less... I wasn't thinking, tried to stop him. Jim..." McCoy stopped and looked around, looking for something, no, someone. "Where's Jim!?"

Of course. Whenever there was any kind of danger, James T. Kirk was always right in the middle of it. That much certainly hadn't changed.

* * *

"Repay a debt?" Jim parroted. What the hell did that mean?

He wasn't sure if Khan would have answered him or not, the man didn't get the chance because he began coughing again. Worse than before. He stumbled, falling against the wall, and there was more blood. A lot more.

Reacting on instinct, Jim moved forward to help the other man, but the second his hand touched Khan's arm, he realized that was a mistake. Khan moved so fast that Jim registered the pain as the other man's 'knife' slashed across his chest before he even realized what happened. The next moment Khan had him pinned once more against the wall with a hand around his throat.

"Fuck, Khan..." Jim barely managed to gasp out before the vice like grip around his throat started to tighten even more. Khan's expression was absolutely feral, and he didn't think there was anything he could have said that would convince Khan not to kill him even if he could speak.

"Jim!"

The grip on his throat unexpectedly loosened and as Jim coughed, trying to regain his breath, he turned towards the airlock door. Spock, both the elder and younger, stood just outside, along with several other Vulcans, as well as Bones. Thank god, Bones was all right, even if the man looked a little worse for wear.

It was over. Khan might be able to overpower a couple of normal humans in his current state, but there was no way he would be able to take on several Vulcans.

"Mr. Spock. How nice of you to join us," Khan said, suddenly calm again. But Spock ignored the insane augment for the moment.

"Captain, are you all right?"

"Fine," Jim answered, the hoarseness of his voice certainly not sounding all that convincing. Jim didn't feel all that reassured either by Khan's demeanor. Jim decided to try to reason with the man one last time. In spite of everything he didn't want to see Khan hurt. Khan had been hurt enough already, and he wasn't sure that Khan really knew what he was doing. Besides, they still needed him.

"It's over, Khan. Just put down the knife and..."

Jim suddenly wished he'd never mentioned that piece of blasted metal, because it was suddenly at his throat again. But Khan wasn't looking at him, he was looking at Spock.

"Do you know what's worse than dying, Mr. Spock?" Khan said, almost conversationally, and Jim felt a cold knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach.

Again, Spock ignored Khan, however. Jim wasn't exactly sure that was the best course of action, but he trusted Spock.

"Captain, the door's control codes have been tampered with and will not open. We are attempting to override the control panel manually," Spock informed Jim. Khan went on speaking as though he hadn't heard anything.

"Being forced to live when you've lost everything. That's far worse than dying, Mr. Spock. I seem to remember you having some experience in this matter," Khan said calmly, and in the silence that followed a pin drop would have been deafening.

Shit.

One look at Spock's face and Jim knew exactly what the Vulcan was thinking. That horrible moment when Spock had been forced to watch helplessly as his mother died right in front of him, and his home planet destroyed itself from the inside out. If Khan was trying to get Spock's attention, he'd definitely succeeded.

"What do you want, Mr. Singh?" Spock finally asked, his words cold and sharp enough to draw blood.

Khan's smile was twisted and cruel.

"You took my family from me, Mr. Spock. I regret I cannot return the favor. But...this will do."

Jim's eyes widened as realization slammed into him, what Khan meant when he said he was 'repaying a debt'. Khan didn't know...

Fuck!

The augment pressed a button on the control panel next to Jim and immediately an alarm began to sound and lights flashed in warning. The airlock... Khan must have overridden the safety protocols; it was going to open and shoot them both out into space!

"Khan wait...!" Jim tried, but hissed in pain when the knife dug sharply into the fragile skin under his chin, drawing more blood.

"If you would like Mr. Spock to watch me cut your throat before you are ejected out into space, please continue speaking, Captain."

Jim grit his teeth. If he was going to die anyway...

"They're not dead, god damn it!" Jim shouted.

Khan went very, very still. Then the man's face twisted into a mask of rage that probably would have had lesser men shitting themselves. Jim didn't have much time to appreciate it however, because the augmented human was once more choking him, and this time Khan didn't seem like he was going to let up until he crushed Jim's throat. Jim clawed at the hand around his neck, leaving deep scratches in Khan's skin, but the grip did not let up in the least.

"You will not use the memory of my family to try to control me again!" Khan roared. "You cannot lie to me! I saw...!"

"Captain Kirk is not lying! Only the torpedoes were beamed aboard the _Vengeance_. Not your crew."

"For the love of god! I took the cryotubes out myself! They're alive!"

Spock and Bones shouted almost at the same time. Khan still looked pissed as hell, but Jim could also see a sliver of doubt begin to creep into the augment's eyes.

"Give me one reason why I should believe you," Khan finally growled, relaxing his hold on Jim's throat only a fraction, but it was enough to let him draw in a much needed breath. Despite how bruised and bloody Jim's neck was by this point, Jim forced himself to speak.

"I can give you seventy-two, and they're still within Starfleet somewhere. Are you just going to abandon them now after everything?" Jim managed to wheeze out, and for a long moment he thought that Khan was definitely going to kill him. There was definitely murder in the augment's bright blue eyes, and Jim could only hope it wasn't directed at him.

But instead of having his throat cut or crushed, Khan released him.

Jim immediately collapsed, coughing and wheezing on the floor. The wailing sirens that had been doing nothing good for his concussion at all, suddenly ceased as well. Was it over? Fuck, he hoped it was over. Slowly Jim looked up at the augment standing over him.

Khan wasn't looking at him however. He wasn't looking at anything at all. His expression was completely vacant. His hand still rested over the switch that had canceled the command to open the airlock that would have killed them both.

"Khan..."

Jim didn't even get to finish the man's name before Khan's eyes rolled back in his head and he crumbled like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Khan!"


	15. Chapter 15

_Khan!_

Someone was shouting his name. He recognized the voice, it was familiar, but he couldn't remember why. It sounded like it was coming from very far away...or maybe under water... Was he under water? It felt like it. It felt like he was floating - or maybe falling - into a deep dark pool. The deeper he went the darker it got. The colder it got. He liked the cold. He liked the dark. He liked the quiet. It was numbing. Peaceful. When was the last time he'd felt at peace? Ah, yes. When he was sleeping. A long, deep, dreamless sleep in his cryotube. He wanted that peace again. He wanted to sleep...

_Khan! Damn it! Bones! He's not breathing. Bones!_

The voice was very persistent. It was annoying. It felt like a hook in his brain trying to tug him back to the surface. Familiar... He couldn't remember why. Tugging... he should know. Not important. If it were important, he would remember. Khan had a photographic memory. All of the augments did, just another way they had been made better. It was often more a curse than a blessing, but he never forgot anything unless he wanted to forget. Unless he'd purposefully deleted the information because it was unimportant... Or sometimes for other reasons...

_You son of a bitch. You don't get to die on me now._

Of course he knew it was impossible to actually remove knowledge - memories - the same way one might delete information from a computer database. But it was possible to bury the memories, to destroy the pathways in the brain that led to them, making them far harder to access. Normal humans did it all the time. Sometimes it was the only way the mind could protect itself, lessening the pain of a traumatic event by forgetting some or all of it. But the memory was never gone. Not completely. And sometimes it floated back to the surface, like a bloated rotting corpse, when one least expected it, in flashbacks, dreams, or maybe triggered by another traumatic event.

_Khan!_

* * *

 

_"Ka!"_

_Khan turned and barely had time to brace himself before a small torpedo of giggling strawberry blond curls barreled into him. At thirteen, Khan was already tall and strong for his age, as was to be expected thanks to his enhanced genes. But he still stumbled a little, laughing, as the four-year-old little girl clung tightly to his legs._

_"Hello, kitten. Have you been behaving yourself?" Khan smiled warmly down at the little girl who returned his smile like the sun and nodded vigorously, causing her curls to bounce like a halo of gold around her. Caterina was his youngest sister. The other genetically enhanced children ranged in age from thirteen to four. Khan was the first, the oldest, and therefore he had taken it upon himself to watch out for all of his younger siblings. They were all very close. But even among all of his siblings, Caterina was special to him._

_They had first met when she was two. The little girl had just been moved out of the nursery and into the dormitory where the toddlers and younger children lived. The younger children had been playing outside in a small park while the older children were doing exercises not far away. Khan had been speaking with one of his instructors when the little ball of energy ran right between his legs, giggling, apparently having successfully escaped one of the scientists keeping watch on the children that day. Khan had helped the frantic scientist chase the little girl down, and she had taken to him immediately._

_In the beginning, the toddler had trouble saying his name, leaving off the 'n' sound. He'd finally stopped trying to correct her, and even now she still called him 'Ka' when no one else was around. She also still had the habit of repeatedly 'escaping' just to come and see him, and was never put off in the least by his sometimes-overly-serious and gruff manner. She was like a bright little ray of sunshine, always happy, always smiling._

_"Yes, Ka! I've been very good. I promise," she answered enthusiastically, her small arms reaching up to him and with a warm chuckle, Khan lifted the small girl into his arms. At once, Caterina wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled against him. Khan chuckled again as he continued walking down the hallway that would take them to the dormitories. His dormitory, where the older children lived, was separate from Caterina's, which housed the younger children, but they were close enough he could drop her off there on his way._

_"Did you learn anything new today in your lessons?" Khan asked. At that, the sunny smile dimmed like a cloud passing in front of it. Khan sighed softly._

_"Kitten, you promised..."_

_"I don't like it there," The little girl pouted, burying her face in his neck, sniffling a little. If there was one thing that Khan hated, it was seeing this beautiful little girl cry, and one of the quickest ways to do that was if she thought she had disappointed him somehow. But it wasn't disappointment that Khan was feeling right now. It was worry._

_The scientists had created them to be stronger, faster, and smarter than normal humans. All of the children followed the same program. When they were young they played the same games. They learned the same lessons. They performed the same exercises. Everything they learned was for one purpose alone. They were being raised to become rulers of a new era, to end the vicious wars that had been plaguing Earth for so many years._

_It would not be easy to achieve their goals, despite their genetic superiority to normal humans. Thus, they were learning to be warriors and leaders. They were expected to be harder, stronger, more mature - even at a young age. Because of this, some of the lessons were not...pleasant. Khan had long since grown used to the harshness of some of them. Caterina was just beginning these lessons, and understandably they were very troubling for the innocent little girl. Sometimes she seemed so different from his other sisters. Softer, more gentle..._

_Khan sighed again and began to rub her back gently._

_He was worried because he had heard some of the scientists talking about Caterina. How her abilities did not seem to be on par with the other children's. That maybe she should be tested for genetic defects... Khan himself had been through too many of the scientists' 'tests' and he would not wish such a fate on his worst enemy, much less his beloved sister._

_"I know you don't like it there, kitten. But it is very important that you try your very best nonetheless. Promise me, kitten."_

_"I promise, Ka. I love you."_

_"I love you too, kitten."_

It was the last time he ever said those words.

* * *

 

"Khan!"

The augment hit the floor with a sickening thud. Despite how his bruised and battered body complained, Jim quickly crawled over to the other man's side. The injured augment just wasn't unconscious, Jim couldn't see any movement of his chest at all. He leaned down, putting his ear close to the augment's nose and mouth just to be sure. Shit! Quickly Jim pressed his fingers against the pulse point in the older man's neck. Fuck!

"Khan! Damn it! Bones! He's not breathing. Bones!" Jim shouted as he looked towards the airlock door. They were still trying to get it open. Jim got up and stumbled over to the control panel that Khan had used to operate the airlock. But whatever Khan had done had disabled the door from both sides.

Khan hadn't left himself an 'out'. He had really planned to kill himself along with Jim. Jim felt sick to his stomach, and he wasn't sure if it was more from the concussion or imagining what Khan must have gone through to drive him to this point.

But Khan had listened to him, even though he'd had absolutely no reason at all to trust him. Jim didn't even know if what he'd told Khan was true. His crew _had_ been alive, before they had been removed from the _Enterprise_ by Starfleet. He could only assume that the sleeping augments would be more useful alive than dead and wouldn't have been killed. He certainly didn't know if any of them had been woken up, or put through the same kind of treatment that Khan had. Though it seemed far too likely a possibility given what he had seen. Khan had believed it possible enough to believe Jim. To change his mind about killing them both.

Now...Jim kind of felt like he owed it to the man to keep the promise that he had made Khan before they had stormed the _Vengeance_ : to ensure the safety of Khan's crew. Of course Khan had tried to kill him and his own crew afterwards, but Jim would never know if Khan had been planning to betray him all along, or if he'd only reacted to Jim's betrayal. And the man _had_ tried to choke him to death a few minutes ago (but then again, so had his first officer once, and Jim didn't hold that against Spock). He couldn't just stand there watching the man die and do nothing.

Dropping back down beside the augment, Jim began chest compressions.

"You son of a bitch. You don't get to die on me now," Jim muttered, tilting Khan's head back, pinching his nose closed, and then blowing into his mouth.

* * *

 

_He had not seen Caterina for days. None of the other children seemed to know where she was. None of the trainers or scientists would tell him anything. Khan had gone well past worried to frightened and then angry. It was why he finally broke into the labs after curfew. It was there that he finally found Caterina._

_What was left of her._

_She had always felt so small in his arms, like a fragile porcelain doll. Now she appeared even smaller on the cold metal slab, her skin, bone white, drained of all color. Her strawberry blond curls were dull and stained with blood and beautiful blue eyes that had once looked at him with so much love and trust were now cold and lifeless._

_He had read the report with shaking fingers. Details of the tests. The scientists had concluded that for some reason Caterina's genes had not been enhanced through the normal procedures like the other children's had. She had been only 'normal'. The scientists had been determined to find out what had gone wrong, why the procedure had failed. When normal methods of testing gave them inconclusive results, termination and dissection had been ordered._

_Khan read the report over and over as he stood next to the mutilated lifeless body. When the scientists returned to the labs the next morning, he killed five of them before he was subdued by security and severely disciplined._

_A year later Khan led his brothers and sisters in a revolt against their creators. It was the beginning of what would come to be known as the Eugenics Wars._

* * *

 

Jim continued to perform CPR on Khan until the Vulcans managed to get the airlock open. Bones immediately rushed inside with a portable medical kit. The doctor didn't look happy, and Jim didn't blame him.

"Jim, the virus..." Bones muttered, even as he began to pull out the defibrillator that would hopefully get Khan's heart started again. Jim shook his head sharply. He didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to think about it right now. What was done, was done. If he'd been infected it had probably happened even before he had started CPR.

Bones clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything more until after he attached the electrodes to Khan's chest.

"Clear."

Jim backed away and watched as Khan's back arched off the floor as electricity was passed through his body.

The doctor checked Khan for signs of a pulse, then cursed softly under his breath.

"Clear."

Jim held his breath as Khan's body lurched again.

Bones checked his pulse again, then gave a small nod.

"We've got a rhythm. Let's get the bastard back to the medbay."

* * *

 

The medbay still looked rather worse for wear, but at least a couple of the biobeds were functional. Bones worked diligently to get Khan stabilized in one of the biobeds. This time the augment was securely restrained, even though there was a very slim chance of him waking up again anytime soon. Jim couldn't really blame Bones for the precaution.

Jim was resting in another bed. He knew Bones wasn't happy. He was once again forced to take care of the man who had, once again, tried to kill his best friend. But Jim wasn't feeling too bad after Bones had given him a good dose of painkillers. He was a bit bruised and bloody, but all things considered, not that injured.

If not for the quarantine field around his bed, Jim could almost believe that.

At the moment it was just a precaution. Jim had refused to let Bones test his blood until after Khan had been stabilized. They didn't know yet if he was infected. There was a pretty good chance of it. Jim licked his lips, still remembering the taste of Khan's blood on them. It was a terrifying thought, but there was really nothing he could do about it now. So he was trying not to think about it.

Bones finally stepped away from Khan's bed, reactivating the stasis field, before pulling off his blood stained gloves.

"How is he?" Jim asked when Bones turned towards him. The doctor shook his head.

"The virus is attacking most of his major organs. He's bleeding internally everywhere. If he doesn't get a blood transfusion, he's not going to even make it to New Vulcan," Bones told him gravely.

Could the situation get any worse? They were on a Vulcan ship, full of Vulcans, and only six humans. While there was a chance some of them might have compatible blood types, Jim couldn't really ask any of his crew to offer up their blood for Khan.

But...

"You gave me a blood transfusion from Khan to cure the radiation poisoning? So that mean's we've got compatible blood types right?" Jim asked, and he wasn't quite prepared for Bones rather explosive reaction.

"God damn it Jim! Don't you think you've done enough?!" Bones shouted at him. He could see the fear and anger in his friend's eyes, and Jim couldn't blame Bones for feeling this way. He probably thought that Jim had behaved foolishly and recklessly, yet again putting himself in danger. But it just wasn't in his nature to stand idly by and watch another suffer without trying to help.

Everything was so fucked up. They had only been trying to help Khan, but the sick and injured man hadn't known that. The man had been through hell and he'd woken up in a panic, confused and understandably angry. Yes, Khan could have easily killed Bones, almost killed Jim, and himself. Khan was fully capable of doing all those things even if he wasn't sick. But in this instance, Jim felt the man's actions were most likely driven by fear and anger-fueled delirium caused by his illness. Jim didn't think Khan had been acting in his right mind.

But Bones probably didn't want to hear any of that right now, considering Jim might be dying again and again it was sort of Khan's fault..

"Think about it, Bones. If I'm infected and he dies, then what chance do I have? If he makes it then maybe..."

Bones glared at him for a long time before swearing loudly and went about collecting the tools he would need for the transfusion. It was a bit ironic that Khan now needed his blood in order to survive. Jim wondered if this made them even.


	16. Chapter 16

This wasn't exactly how Jim had imagined he'd see New Vulcan for the first time. But then again, a lot of things had happened lately that he would never have imagined.

Like waking up from a two-week coma after suffering lethal amounts of radiation poisoning that would have killed anyone else had they not been dosed by blood from a three-hundred-year-old terrorist. Like being unable to stop thinking about the fate of said terrorist, and in the process of trying to find out, discovering that everything he thought he knew about Starfleet might be a lie. Like trying to uncover a conspiracy that might threaten to tear apart the entire Federation, he ends up saving afore-mentioned terrorist from some horrible human experiment, only for said terrorist to go insane and try to kill him again.

Now Jim was facing death for the second time in less than six weeks. Only this time it wasn't from radiation poisoning, but one of the worst plagues that the galaxy had ever seen.

Jim wished he could say he was handling it well, but frankly, he was scared shitless. He'd kind of thought it would be easier, facing death the second time around. But it wasn't, it was worse. His mind kept flashing back to that moment he'd made the decision in engineering. They all would have died if he hadn't gone in to the warp core. The decision had been so easy: his life in exchange for his crew's. He hadn't expected to be so afraid after it was all said and done, when he was lying there, alone, waiting for the end.

At least then he'd only had to endure the fear and pain for a few minutes. Now, depending on how fast the virus spread inside of him, he could linger on for several days before he died. It had been a little under twenty-four hours since he'd been infected. Right now Jim felt like he had a bad case of the flu, which sure as hell wasn't pleasant, but he knew it was going to get worse. A lot worse. And this time there wouldn't be any miracle cure to bring him back.

Jim glanced over at the other man lying in the biobed next to his.

Khan... The man was dying, plain and simple. For a while he'd held on to foolish hopes that the augment's immune system would rally and beat the virus ravaging his system. If it did, maybe the antibodies Khan created could be used to cure him too. But as the hours passed Jim knew those hopes were nothing more than a fantasy. Maybe the virus was just too much even for an augment's enhanced immune system to handle, or maybe it had been overtaxed by all the other diseases Khan had been infected with. The sad truth was that Khan was showing no signs of recovering.

The blood transfusion from Jim had kept the augment alive long enough for them to reach New Vulcan. Then, both he and Khan had been transported directly into an isolated quarantined area in the medical facilities on the planet. The Vulcan healers had managed to stop Khan's internal bleeding and keep the augment stable, though 'stable' was a generous term. Many of Khan's internal organs had stopped functioning, and the only reason the augment was still 'alive' was because of various machines performing most of his bodily functions for him. Khan's brain was still functioning, but barely.

The longer Jim watched, the more forcing the man to stay alive by artificial means almost seemed like torture. Watching the augment's body slowly shut down was horrifying, and Jim could only hope that when his time came it would be quicker and less painful.

Jim had been allowed visitors, but only through a quarantine field, a necessary precaution; the Vulcan population had already suffered enough loss without the potential for a plague breaking out amongst the colonists. He was lucky that the Vulcan High Council had allowed them to beam down in the first place. Spock, the elder, must have some pretty strong influence with the council. His crew had all come to see him, but the visit was not easy or very pleasant. He'd tried to put on a brave front, lying through his teeth when he promised them everything was going to be fine. He didn't think any of them actually believed it. Even though they tried to hide it, their grief was palpable and he easily recognised it in their tearful eyes and strained smiles they forced for his sake.

Eventually Scotty, Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu had left, leaving him alone with Bones and Spock. The doctor had looked like he would love to punch Jim for doing this to him again. Jim couldn't really blame him. And Spock... Jim remembered vividly the unexpected warmth in the half-Vulcan's expression and tone the first time Spock had come to see him in the hospital after he'd woken from the coma. Now all that warmth was gone, locked behind a ridged cold politeness that Spock hadn't used with him since they'd first met after Jim's little stunt with the Kobayashi Maru simulation. He honestly wasn't sure if Spock was more angry at Khan or at Jim.

Jim hated that he was putting them through this again. He knew they all blamed Khan to varying degrees. Hell, even Jim blamed him sometimes. It was easy to be angry at the augmented human. After all, if the man hadn't gone nuts, taken Jim hostage, and tried to shoot him out of an airlock, he might not be infected with a deadly virus right now. But really, it wasn't Khan's fault. The other man certainly hadn't been asked to be infected as some kind of sick experiment. He'd been delirious and had panicked. Understandable after the way he'd been treated thus far. That they hadn't accounted for that was no one's fault but theirs, and that was probably one of the reasons Bones was so angry right now. The doctor probably blamed himself, but really Jim only had himself to blame for everything that had happened.

Did he regret the decisions he'd made that had led him to this point? Sure, he regretted getting ill, he didn't want to die. If he'd not gotten involved, he'd still be recovering in that damned Starfleet hospital bed with Bones nagging at him about taking it easy, and complaining about the hospital food, instead of facing a slow, painful, and inevitable death. But that would have meant ignoring a possible threat within Starfleet, and ignoring the terrible injustice done to Khan. If he'd discovered later that Khan had died, tortured in a horrible experiment, when Jim might have been able to stop it...

Jim sighed softly, rubbing his face with his hands tiredly. He would probably drive himself insane thinking like this, but it wasn't as though he had much else to think about. It was the middle of the night and he was alone, well, except for Khan. Occasionally a Vulcan healer would come to check on them, but for the most part he was left alone so he could rest. Only sleep was pretty much the last thing on Jim's mind. Pretty soon he wasn't going to be able to do much more than that, so he didn't really want to sleep now.

Jim got up from his biobed and approached the barrier that separated him from Khan. He didn't need to look at the monitors to see how poorly the man was doing. Khan looked more like a corpse now than a living being. Jim knew he wasn't doing himself any favors, staring at the man, seeing first-hand what would happen to him in a matter of days. But he couldn't help it.

Maybe... He knew what it was like to feel so alone, scared, in pain. In just those few moments, trapped in the warp core, before Scotty, and then Spock, had come...those moments had been the worst. At least Jim had his crew, his friends, his family... No matter how difficult it was, he knew they wouldn't let him go through this alone. Khan had no one. He wasn't sure how much the augment could still feel, but...

"For what it's worth, I'm...sorry this happened to you," Jim said softly. He certainly didn't expect any sort of response, and he didn't get one. But he still felt the need to say it aloud. "When I said I'd do everything I could to make you answer for what you did...I didn't mean this."

It wasn't that Jim forgave the man for killing Christopher Pike, or all of the other horrible things Khan had done. But no one deserved to be treated the way Khan had been. The way Marcus... all of Starfleet... had treated him... Jim couldn't really blame the man for what he'd done. Khan had been alone. He'd had no one he could turn to for help, no one he could trust. Hell, even Jim didn't know who he could trust within Starfleet anymore. How could he blame Khan for hating them all, thinking the whole damned organization was corrupt, for wanting revenge, after what he'd endured? If he'd been in Khan's place... Jim sighed, as he stared at the other man's ashen features.

"I'll talk to Spock. He won't give up trying to uncover the conspiracy within Starfleet. I'll ask him to look for your crew, make sure they're safe. He's angry now, but I know he'll agree..." If it was his last request, or something, Jim didn't think Spock would refuse, no matter what Spock might think of Khan. The very least Khan deserved after all the man had been put through was that his family be saved. Protected...

At the sound of someone clearing their throat, Jim turned to find the elder Spock standing just beyond Jim's quarantine field.

"Forgive me for intruding. I could not rest and thought you may be having similar difficulties," The old Vulcan apologized, and Jim offered Spock an affectionate, if sad smile.

"I guess you know me pretty well, huh?" The young man gave a soft laugh, which turned into a mild coughing fit. When it finally passed Jim had to sit down on the biobed because he felt light-headed. But at least there was no blood yet. He offered the older Vulcan a smile that was a little more forced than before. "Sorry."

"You need not apologize for anything, old friend."

Jim smiled again, but it did not reach his eyes.

"It feels like I should," he admitted softly. Spock pulled over a nearby chair and sat down in front of the quarantine field before he answered.

"What do you feel you need to apologize for?"

"I don't know. Everything?" Jim sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I think Admiral Pike was right. I ignore the rules, when I'm the kind of guy the rules were probably made for in the first place. I think I can't make mistakes, when in reality, mistakes are all I seem to be making lately. At least this time it's only me, and not my crew who will pay for those mistakes..."

Well, not only him. Jim glanced briefly over at Khan.

"What mistakes do you think you have made?" The elder Spock asked softly with no small amount of sadness in his tone.

Jim sighed heavily.

"I just feel like... I should have acted sooner. I should have been able to do more," Jim admitted. The problem was, he couldn't think of what else he might have done. It was like the Kobayashi Maru all over again: the dreaded no-win scenario that every cadet - except him - had to face as a test of character and readiness for command. He had once naively stated that he did not believe in no-win scenarios. God, that seemed so long ago now.

"I think perhaps you are being too hard on yourself, my friend," the old Vulcan stated, and maybe Spock was right. Jim supposed it didn't really matter now anyway, but Spock wasn't finished. "I can tell you with certainty you have always given everything, no matter what the personal sacrifice, to do what you feel is good and right. That has never changed. And in that way, you have never let me, nor any other of your crew, down."

Jim almost managed to give the elder Vulcan a genuine smile but the sudden medical alarms blaring effectively killed the moment. Jim's heart began to hammer faster in his chest and he stumbled to his feet and over to see what was happening to Khan as the Vulcan healers rushed in. But he couldn't see much in the flurry of activity.

It couldn't be good...but Jim still held his breath, hoping...

He wasn't sure how much time passed. It felt like a long time, but it could have only been minutes. Finally the alarms stopped...but not because the healers had somehow managed to stabilize the augment yet again. The healers had turned them off. Jim watched, feeling numb, as one of the healers drew the sheet over Khan's now completely still form.

"He is gone." one of the female Vulcan's stated unnecessarily.

Khan was dead.


	17. Chapter 17

"You god damned bastard," Doctor Leonard McCoy muttered under his breath as he stood over the body of the three hundred-year-old augmented human.

It had been nearly two in the morning when he'd gotten the call and he'd been drunk. Well, technically he'd passed out from drinking earlier. But he was definitely still drunk when he'd gotten the call...that really only made him want to start drinking all over again. Needless to say, he hadn't been taking the recent turn of events very well. Ever since the test had come back positive, confirming that Jim was infected with one of the deadliest viruses known to man, he'd been swinging between feelings of deep depression and near uncontrollable rage. The replicated whiskey hadn't done much good dulling either extreme. Mostly it just made him feel guilty for getting drunk while his best friend was dying - again - and there was nothing he could do to help Jim.

Now, with Khan's death, any slim hope that Jim had for recovering from the terrible virus ravaging his system had died with him.

Frankly, McCoy didn't want to be here. Here being the morgue, where Khan's body had been brought, ready to do a full autopsy, and still more than a little drunk to boot. In fact, there probably wasn't anywhere Leonard wanted to be less. Especially knowing his best friend would soon be joining the augment, lying cold and dead on a metal slab, in a matter of days.

But Jim had asked him for this, and how the hell was he supposed to say no? If, in the event the Starfleet personnel responsible for Khan's condition were ever brought to justice, Jim asked that McCoy gather as much evidence as possible about the abuse the augment had suffered. He'd wanted to ensure those responsible would pay for what they'd done.

The more logical part of Leonard's mind agreed that it was a good idea. Anyone who could do something so horrible, no matter who they'd done it to, deserved to be punished. It was important that people knew exactly what had been done to Khan, so it would never happen again. But most of him wasn't interested in being logical right now, and only saw Jim's request as yet another example of how the younger man's self-sacrificing attitude had finally gotten him killed. Why, for once, couldn't Jim have thought of himself? Khan had been dying, and nothing anyone did could change that. Jim's efforts in that airlock had bought the augment days at best. Now Jim was dying, and for what?

It was all so...heartbreakingly pointless.

Leonard hadn't started the autopsy yet, and he really wasn't in any rush to begin. So far all he'd done was take a few still holos, recording the augment's emaciated appearance, and the extensive scarring. Really, that alone would probably be enough evidence, because the images were truly horrifying. But McCoy was nothing if not thorough.

"Dr. Leonard McCoy, _Enterprise_ chief medical officer, autopsy report on Khan Noonien Singh," Leonard began the log with a weary sigh. "Patient time of death, 01:42 hours standard time. Time of autopsy, 08:00 hours. Patient has been deceased for a little over six hours. Cause of death attributed to viral infection."

Leonard took out his scanner and began to take his initial readings.

"Body temperature..." The doctor frowned. As far as he knew the body had been immediately transported to the morgue and placed in cold storage, both for safety reasons and to preserve it for autopsy. The body should have been close to freezing by now. Instead... "Fifty-three degrees Fahrenheit..."

And rising...

That was impossible.

Quickly Leonard picked up a syringe to draw a sample of the augment's blood and brought it over to the computer to analyze it. He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting to find, but ordered the computer to run every test he could think of on the sample. He paced back and forth between the body and the computer while he waited for the results, and almost dove over the table to reach it when the computer finally pinged to let him know it had finished its analysis.

Leonard double-checked the results, shook his head in disbelief, and returned to the body to take another sample. Because it simply wasn't possible. He must have done something wrong the first time. Maybe he was more drunk than he thought. But the second sample gave him the exact same results.

"What the fuck?!"

* * *

Jim was lying in the biobed, he was beyond exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. It was mid-morning, and he was staring through the quarantine field at the now-empty bed next to his own, as he had been doing ever since they'd taken Khan's body away. The elder Spock had offered to remain with him, and other members of his crew had come to visit him. They'd all heard the news by this point. But right now Jim just wanted to be left alone.

Maybe that was selfish of him, but he just...needed some time. It was crazy, really. It wasn't like Khan was his friend or anything. Far from it. But he was surprised just how much the augment's death was affecting him. Not because with Khan's death, his own was virtually guaranteed, he'd already kind of accepted the fact that he was going to die. And not because without the information Khan probably possessed, it would be so much harder to uncover the corruption within Starfleet. It was the overwhelming feelings of...guilt...that left his throat tight and his eyes burning.

He'd done so many things wrong when dealing with Khan. If he hadn't been so blinded by rage and grief, maybe he would have listened to Khan when the man talked about Marcus' betrayal, and many of his crew wouldn't have had to die. If he'd given Khan the benefit of the doubt back on the _Vengeance,_ maybe the man wouldn't have betrayed him in turn, Jim wouldn't have had to go into that warp core, and he could have been around to ensure that Khan received proper justice and not a mockery of one. Maybe he should have done more when he'd started having doubts regarding the man's sentence. Should have acted sooner. Maybe if they'd found Khan earlier, rescued him before he'd been infected with that particular virus. Maybe the man would still be alive...

Khan had saved his life. Twice, technically. The first time in the debris field, and it had been Khan's choice to do so when he could have easily just let Jim die. The second time -which hadn't exactly been the augment's choice - was when Bones had taken Khan's blood to heal him, but that just kind of made it worse. Worse, because it had been against Khan's will and in a way, it almost made them as bad as the ones who'd experimented on Khan.

He should have been able to save Khan. The man deserved to be saved, after everything he went though. He deserved a second chance...or really, a first chance, because no one in Starfleet had given him one, that much was for damned sure. Jim had failed the man, plain and simple.

The only person who Jim had agreed to talk with was Bones, and that was only long enough to convince Bones to do an autopsy on the augment. He almost hated to do it. Khan had been poked and prodded enough when he'd been alive; it almost felt disrespectful now to defile his corpse in similar ways. But since data from the autopsy would be used, hopefully one day, to punish those who'd murdered - yes murdered - the augment, he hoped that Khan wouldn't mind; Khan had always seemed pretty practical for the most part, from what Jim knew of the man.

Suddenly, Jim started coughing hard enough to make his chest ache. The coughing fits were coming more frequently now, and each one seemed to leave him more and more exhausted. Jim groaned softly when this one finally passed and he wiped his mouth. He wasn't surprised when his fingers came away red.

"Jim!"

Jim jumped slightly when he heard Bones' voice, and turned to face the doctor as he quickly strode into the room. Jim hadn't expected to see the doctor again so soon. He definitely hadn't expected to see him looking so...cheerful?

"What is it?" Jim asked, his voice a little hoarse from all the coughing. He pushed himself up a little and leaned back against his pillows.

"He's not dead!"

Jim stared at the other man with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open a little in spite of himself. Had Bones been drinking again?

"What?" he finally managed to croak out in disbelief.

"I don't know how the hell to explain it. Whoever the hell 'designed' the man was a fucking genius. Or a mad man. Probably both. The best I can figure, his body can prioritize which systems remain functional in the event of serious injury or, apparently, death," Bones explained excitedly, but Jim was still trying to get past the "He's alive" part. Jim had seen the healers working frantically on the man. He'd seen the readouts on the machines. Khan's body had just...given up. Even the brain scans had shown no activity in the end. The man was _dead_. They'd taken him to the _morgue_ , for crying out loud.

"What?"

It was the only thing Jim could say it seemed.

Bones sighed heavily and began again in a tone like he was speaking to a small child...or an idiot.

"Think of it like...a starship." Well, that was something Jim could relate to. "The ship's only got enough power left to maintain one major system. What do you do? Do you care if the food replicators are working? Hell no, you throw all the power you've got left into the life-support systems."

"But Bones! His heart, his lungs, his brain! Those aren't minor systems!" Jim exclaimed, finally understanding the analogy but still not believing it.

Bones gave a laugh halfway between amazed and disbelieving, which actually made Jim feel a little better. He was glad he wasn't the only one having trouble accepting this.

"Tell that to Khan's body. It's like all his systems have gone into some kind of suspended animation: nervous system, circulatory system, respiratory system, you name it. His white blood count is off the charts! And his cells are replicating at an exponential rate, replacing the ones damaged by the virus."

Jim felt his mouth hanging open again, but he couldn't help it. Not only was Bones claiming that the man was still alive but...

"He's going to recover?"

Bones suddenly grinned at Jim, and it was bright enough to light up the fucking room.

"He's not the only one," The doctor said as he held up a hypo for Jim to see. "I managed to extract some new antibodies from Khan's blood. I tested them. They're antibodies for the plague virus, Jim."

Jim could only blink stupidly at Bones, but the other man's shit-eating grin never wavered. Jim couldn't help but wonder if this was some kind of strange fever dream, maybe he was becoming delirious or something from the disease. Or he did consider that, right up until Bones deactivated the quarantine shield, approached him, and injected Jim with the hypo with his usual bedside manner. Which, also as usual, made Jim yelp and rub his neck at the sharp sting.

Almost immediately Jim began to feel drowsy and Bones helped him lie down once more

"Get some rest, Jim. You'll feel better in the morning," he heard Bones say softly before his eyes closed. Maybe it was just a dream, but it was a good one.

* * *

As it turned out, it took Jim three days before he started feeling better. The first couple of days he actually felt worse and began to doubt the cure was actually going to work. But Bones reassured him again and again - usually right after Jim was done throwing up - that his viral load was lessening, that the antibodies were doing their job. They were just doing it rather brutally. But then the augment's body was built to take far more abuse than a normal human's, so no, Jim wasn't surprised at all that the cure was almost as bad as the disease itself. Brutally efficient, just like the man himself. That didn't mean Jim had to like it.

But after the third day, he did start to feel better. He was still kept in quarantine for a week, even after repeated tests showed that the virus was no longer in his bloodstream. As a precaution. Bones was also pretty adamant about complete bed-rest during that time and no amount of whining on Jim's part had been able to sway the doctor's mind this time. He wouldn't have complained. Much. He knew he'd given Bones, and everyone else, one hell of a scare. But Jim really wanted to see Khan, the man hadn't been brought back to the area where they'd kept Jim quarantined. Eventually Jim had been moved to another room, one that resembled a more normal hospital room, at least by Vulcan standards. But he still hadn't been able to see the augment.

Bones told him that Khan was still in 'healing mode,' as the doctor had begun calling it. Jim was starting to get worried again, and Bones had to keep reminding him that Khan's disease had progressed a hell of a lot further than Jim's had. So it should be no surprise it would take the augment longer to recover than Jim had. Jim tried not to feel guilty that all of their efforts, trying to keep Khan's body functioning at a normal human level had probably done a lot more harm than good. But how could they have known? It wasn't like they had some kind of owners manual for the augment or anything.

It was almost two weeks after Khan had 'died' before Bones finally came to tell Jim that Khan's vitals had begun to return to normal range, and quite rapidly too. That very same evening, the doctor returned looking surprisingly disgruntled.

"He wants to see you," Bones told him, and Jim didn't even have to ask who 'he' was.

Jim, having recovered quite well from his most recent brush with death, followed Bones through the Vulcan medical facility back to the area where the more critically injured patients were treated. In a room not far from the original room Jim had been treated in, was Khan. He looked quite worse-for-wear, thin, and far too pale, lying in the biobed surrounded by monitoring equipment and stuck with probably more than a dozen IV's. But the man was quite awake and aware, as evidenced when he turned his head to look at them when they entered the room.

"Captain." The augment's voice was weak, hoarse, and just as condescending as ever.

Jim found himself smiling.


	18. Chapter 18

The _Enterprise_ was in free fall. Pulled in by Earth's gravity and dropping through the atmosphere. The warp core was offline. The only thing they could do was try to stabilize the ship and slow the decent enough to allow as much of the crew to evacuate as possible. Just as in the volcano on Nibiru, Spock had accepted the inevitability of his own death if it meant saving as many of the _Enterprise_ crew as possible.

His death. A small price to pay. The deaths of the other bridge crew members who refused to leave him. The death of Nyota... Much more difficult to accept, but he had already ordered them to leave and they had refused. All that was left now, however illogical it may be, was to pray for a miracle.

_There were no such things..._

The warp core had come back online, allowing enough power to the remaining thrusters to slow, and finally stabilize their altitude within the atmosphere. A miracle.

_At least, not without a terrible cost..._

When the comm sounded mere seconds after disaster had been averted, somehow he'd known, even before Mr. Scott had started speaking. Something was wrong. He could feel it.

_"Sir, you'd better get down here. Better hurry."_

His heart had immediately sped up as fear surged through him, somehow so much stronger than when he had been sitting in the captain's chair as the _Enterprise_ was crashing towards the Earth. Jim's chair. Where the young human should have been sitting. Instead, Jim was trapped inside the warp core flooded with lethal amounts of radiation.

_"And this is what you would have done. It was only logical."_

Spock had never hated those words more. As he watched his friend dying, Spock couldn't help but agree. It should have been him. Not Jim. It should have been him...

_"I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be. How do you choose not to feel?"_

He had wanted so badly to tell Jim how. It had seemed so easy at the time, to choose not to feel fear, sorrow, or anger at the idea of his own death. It had seemed so easy at the time... But now...

_"I do not know. Right now I am failing..."_

Failed... he had failed his captain. His friend...

_"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die. Why I went back for you."_

But Spock didn't need Jim to explain to him anymore. He finally understood what that meant to Jim. And himself. Why did he only understand now, when it was too late? Too late...

_"Because you are my friend."_

Jim, his friend, was dead...

* * *

Spock woke with a start, sitting up in bed with a sharp gasp. For a moment he felt disorientated and could not remember where he was, something he was not sure he'd experienced before. But the dream had been so vivid. So real. For a moment he thought he truly was back on the _Enterprise_ outside of the warp core watching his friend die. It was the same dream he'd had for the last three days. A nightmare, all the more intense because it had actually happened.

Spock came back to his senses quickly, however, as his eyes adjusted to take in his surroundings in the darkness. Two of New Vulcan's three moons had risen and cast a cool silver glow through the open windows, throwing everything into sharp contrasts of light and shadow.

"Spock?" Nyota's sleepy voice came from beside him. He felt her shift in the bed as she turned towards him. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," Spock replied. It was true enough. He was not physically harmed in any way. Yet even though a warm breeze blew in from outside, Spock could feel a fine tremor in his limbs which he knew was caused more by a remnant of feelings from the...nightmare...than the temperature. His body, and his heart, which still beat rapidly in his chest, betrayed just how much the dream disturbed him. He was not all right. He could not lie even to himself. But he did not want to alarm Nyota either.

"Go back to sleep. I will return shortly." Spock said softly, leaning down to give her a gentle kiss before slipping out of the bed. Clothed only in a pair of light sleeping pants, Spock made his way to the balcony attached to the room they were staying in while on New Vulcan.

New Vulcan. It was so similar to his home world, in temperature, terrain, and atmosphere. But oddly enough, it was the small differences, not the large ones such as this planet having multiple moons where Vulcan had none, that made Spock feel all the more grief for the loss of his homeworld. As he stood at the edge of the balcony overlooking a small garden that had been planted below, many of those differences stood out in sharp relief in his mind. One such was the many species of plants in the garden that had never existed on Vulcan. Their scents, though pleasant, left an unfamiliar tinge of fragrance in the air.

Still, the simple garden, the silence of the night, and the warm air blowing over his sweat-dampened skin, offered him the serenity that he craved so much right now. Gripping the balcony's railing, Spock closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to still the chaos of his mind that the nightmare had created.

It was in the past. Only a memory. Spock was not sure why it plagued him so now in his dreams. He had not had these dreams before, when Jim had been recovering in the hospital after the incident in the warp core. It seemed illogical that he would be dreaming of the event now, especially when Jim was on the road to recovery, again. Yet even though he knew this in his mind that did not stop him from experiencing those horrible feelings all over again as he watched the life drain from Jim Kirk's eyes every night in his nightmares.

If it were only the nightmares that were troubling him he would not be so concerned. Unfortunately it was more. Spock remembered vividly the moment he'd first seen Jim awake after his coma in the Starfleet hospital. The relief he'd felt. The joy at seeing his friend, hearing Jim's voice... It was indescribable. It had certainly been a unique experience as well. After all, how often did one witness their best friend die and then come back to life?

Spock had made a vow then that Jim would never doubt his friendship. He had not been able to show Jim that he understood until the very end. He would never make that mistake again.

And then Jim had contracted the Telurian plague. Certainly it could have happened at any time when Khan had taken Jim hostage, but the young man's fate had definitely been sealed the second Jim had tried to resuscitate Khan after the augment had stopped breathing. It had been like that moment in engineering all over again: trapped behind a wall of transparent aluminum, useless, unable to help his friend.

Unlike the others, Spock had not been able to sustain any measure of hope that this time Jim would be miraculously saved. The augment had been dying, his body far too weak to fight off the disease. Khan's immune system could not even save himself. How could it possibly save Jim?

Grief... It had been expected. The anger had not been. Especially because it was not Khan that Spock was most angry with. It was Jim. Which confused Spock, made him feel guilty, and in turn made him angrier somehow. Like a vicious circle, one emotion fed off of another, and no amount of meditation could purge him of those negative feelings. He could barely contain them when he was around the others, and especially when he went to see Jim. Every time he saw the young man locked away behind the quarantine field, his emotions surged forth so strongly he could practically taste them.

Then Khan had died, and it was just as well that Jim had not wanted to see anyone, because Spock knew he could not face his friend then. Not without lashing out violently at something or someone. Even Nyota must have sensed this because she had left him alone to deal with his feelings rather than try to get him to speak or comfort him as she'd often done in the past. Or perhaps she had wanted to grieve on her own as well. He couldn't be sure, but it was probably for the best.

Then, another 'miracle'. Khan's unique biology proved to be sufficient to cure the augment from the virus after all. Not only that, but Dr. McCoy was able to extract the antibodies needed to create a cure for Jim as well.

Spock had been relieved. Overjoyed. How could he not be? At the same time he couldn't help but worry what would the price of this miracle be? Even worse, though he was immeasurably happy that Jim had somehow survived against all odds yet again, his anger had not faded, and it seemed to have colored every interaction with Jim since. Their exchanges were stiff, awkward in a way they had not been since the beginning of their friendship. He knew that Jim noticed this, but Spock did not even understand why he was feeling such negative emotions when it was certainly a good thing that Jim had survived.

The anger he felt simply was not logical.

"Spock?" Nyota's voice from the doorway behind him was not much of a surprise. In fact, he had almost expected her to follow him sooner. He appreciated the time she had given him to calm himself and collect his thoughts alone, even if he was no closer to an answer regarding his irrational emotional state.

Her warm hand came to rest against the small of his bare back as she came to stand next to him on the balcony. Her dark eyes were gentle and comforting as she looked up at him and asked, "Will you tell me what's wrong now?"

It was only a question. Not a demand. He could say nothing and she would not be angry with him, only worried. Among Vulcans, speaking about feelings was not considered proper. But he knew that humans expected their partners to speak about their feelings, and after Nibiru, he did not wish to repeat his mistakes that had led to Nyota being hurt by his perceived lack of caring.

"I have been experiencing dreams of a disturbing nature for the past several nights. Dreams about Jim...in the warp core..." Spock admitted softly. When he looked down into Nyota's eyes he did not see surprise in their dark depths, only understanding and sorrow. Immediately she slipped her arms around his waist and pressed close and he found himself wrapping his arms around her, his body instinctively relaxing into their embrace.

"I'm sorry. I know it's been hard..." she said softly and he nodded, resting his chin against her hair.

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Spock hesitated only a moment before sighing softly and he began speaking, almost feeling like he was digging into a raw open wound as he did so.

"My feelings have been...conflicted. I was frightened, saddened, angry when Jim became sick. It was illogical to hope that Jim would somehow survive. I..." Spock's voice faltered and trailed off as it grew thick with emotion, and Nyota hugged him tighter. He probably did not need to explain the measure of his grief because they had all felt it equally believing their captain, their friend, was going to die and this time nothing would save him.

"When I received the comm from Dr. McCoy regarding the possibility of Jim recovering, I was doubtful at first, but then relieved...overjoyed. And quite frankly amazed how one man could cheat death so often. It seems like Jim Kirk has far exceeded the typical quota 'nine lives' awarded to particularly lucky felines," Spock finished with a small note of amusement, and Nyota snorted softly.

Unfortunately Spock's amusement faded quickly.

"But even now that Jim has recovered remarkably well from his latest near death, I...the dreams continue...and I still feel anger. Towards Jim, and I do not understand why..."

Nyota made a small noise of understanding, and frankly he was surprised by that. His own feelings had confused him so much, but she did not seem surprised at them at all.

"Do you remember when I was angry with you after Nibiru? When you nearly died in the volcano?" she asked him softly and Spock nodded.

"Of course, but the situations are far from similar. You were angry with me because you thought I had not considered your feelings when I accepted the possibility of my own death. You believed I did not care. I know that Jim does care, often too much..."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you know that?" She interrupted him, tilting her head to look up at him and he looked down at her with a bit of surprise.

"Of course."

"But he still tried to help Khan. Even though he knew what would happen to him if he did. Even knowing how it would affect you, all of us, if he died..."

Spock thought he was beginning to understand. Perhaps the situations were not so different after all.

"That is who Jim Kirk is. He always tries to do what is right, no matter what the personal cost," Spock said softly.

Nyota nodded.

"And he probably always will. So you know it will most likely happen again, and again, and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening in the future, and that scares you."

Her words certainly seemed logical, and perhaps it was true. Perhaps that was where much of his anger was stemming from. Fear.

"Let me ask you something." She paused a moment before continuing. "If it had been anyone else? If Jim had risked his life to try to save anyone else but Khan. Would you still be angry with him like this?"

Spock stared at her for a long time.

"I do not know."


	19. Chapter 19

Waking from his body's ability to slip into suspended animation while it healed itself from serious injury or illness was never a pleasant experience. Fortunately he had not had to experience it many times before this one.

The first had been when he was a child, barely older than three. One of the drawbacks of being designed with a photographic memory was that he could remember every detail vividly despite the fact that he was so young. The scientists had been eager to test if their modifications to his genetics succeeded in producing the results they'd hoped for, and they were not disappointed. In fact, he'd exceeded all of their expectations and his DNA had become the basis for every augmented child that had been created after him, at least, in that particular facility.

The second time was not until many years later, during the wars. In one of the final battles he had been nearly fatally wounded and if not for the bravery of a few of his most loyal soldiers, he would probably have perished that day. It was soon after that Khan and the few remaining augments under his command commandeered the _Botany Bay_ and escaped the Earth hoping to create a better world for themselves.

The last time did not occur until recently, when he had been in the hands of Starfleet's scientists for the second time. He should probably be grateful for the small favor that this very well-guarded secret had not been discovered by Admiral Marcus and his scientists beforehand. If Marcus knew just how 'durable' he was, the man probably would have been much more careful when attempting to eliminate him the first time, and he probably would not have been able to escape when he did. Though once the Starfleet scientists realized the full extent of his ability to recover, they made good use of it again and again. Until Kirk had finally found him...

However, having gone through the experience multiple times did not make it any easier or pleasant. It was still painful and disorientating. Upon waking, he had felt an initial stab of panic believing he was still in the hands of Starfleet scientists and the events that had followed were nothing more than fever dreams. They certainly could have been fever dreams. They had been absurd enough.

Being 'rescued' from Starfleet by none other than Kirk, foolish boy-captain and puppet of the Federation? Absurd.

Yet, here he was. His accommodations, while not exactly pleasant, were far different from his confinement at the hands of Starfleet. The appearance of a Vulcan healer soon after he regained consciousness was further proof he was being treated as a patient rather than a lab specimen.

He answered her questions remotely: how he was feeling, where and how he was experiencing pain. His mind was busy trying to piece together the events that had led him here from his fragmented memories. He might have a photographic memory, but high enough fevers would dull even the sharpest of minds.

That moment in his cell when he had first noticed Kirk's presence was blurry. But he could recall enough that the reason behind his rescue was no mystery. Kirk wanted information from him regarding the late Admiral Marcus' plans. Perhaps the boy was not a completely brainwashed imbecile if he did not foolishly believe Marcus' plans had died with him. But Khan was admittedly surprised Kirk had gone so far as to commit what amounted to treason against his precious Federation by removing him from the science facility.

His memories after being removed from the facility were even more fragmented and difficult to decipher. He'd had many dreams about the past. Caterina... The memory of the murder of his beloved sister still caused him grief after so many years. He had dreamed about her death. Then he had dreamed about how he'd punished those who'd murdered her. Those memories had become confused with reality, he was certain, though he had gained enough clarity at some point to wish for revenge against the one who had murdered the last of his family.

Spock.

He had been lucid enough to know he did not possess the strength in his current condition to kill the Vulcan. Besides, death wasn't really much of a punishment. Death was far too quick, too merciful. He'd wanted the Vulcan to suffer. A pity he had no time to hunt down everyone the Vulcan loved and make him watch as Khan slaughtered them. That would have been true justice. But, he had the next best thing. He had Kirk. The Vulcan would watch Captain Kirk die and know there was nothing he could do to save him. Just as Khan had watched helplessly as his crew was killed in a fiery inferno. That his choice method of execution ensured his own death as well was a bonus. An end to the pain. He would be with his family again. Finally.

Khan remembered taunting the Vulcan with the destruction of his homeworld. Anything to twist the painful knife of grief deeper into the Vulcan's chest. It had been satisfying watching that stony expression slip on the Vulcan's face, knowing the pain and anger it was trying to hide. But he could not hide it from Khan. Khan was too experienced creating his own masks not to be able to see past the flimsy one the young Vulcan attempted to wear.

He had expected the shouting, denial, anger, any number of emotions. He had expected begging, pleading for Kirk's life. He had expected them to say just about anything to try to stop him. Yet somehow he had not expected those words.

_"They're not dead, god damn it!"_

Such simple words. Yet they had changed everything.

His own mask of cold stoicism had vanished in an instant. Shock had lasted barely a millisecond. White hot rage had quickly followed. Rage that Kirk would dare try to use his family to control him again. He'd had no reason at all to believe Kirk's words. Even less reason to trust the doctor's and Vulcan's. Yet something had made him pause while crushing the young captain's throat.

_"I can give you seventy-two..."_

His own words echoed back to him. Seventy-two reasons to believe Kirk. If there were even the slimmest chance that it could be true...

Khan did not remember much of what followed, but obviously he had changed his mind about killing Kirk and himself. He was still alive, and admittedly Khan was a bit surprised by this. Even an augment's healing ability had limits. Unfortunately Khan's next move had never been more uncertain. If he believed Kirk, his family was still being held by Starfleet and rescuing them alone would be nearly impossible. When he'd first escaped from Marcus and Starfleet, rescuing his crew had not been his goal. He had, foolishly it seemed, assumed Marcus would kill his crew in retaliation. His focus had been vengeance, nothing more. Upon learning that Kirk had possession of his crew, his mission had changed, but it was highly unlikely that Khan would be so lucky as to have his crew practically handed to him upon a silver platter a second time.

He would need help. Kirk wanted information from him. Information on Marcus' and Starfleet's plans that he could get nowhere else. As much as Khan loathed the idea of bargaining once more with a human for the life of his crew, he may not have a choice. Much would depend on just how valuable the information he had was to Kirk.

Lost in his thoughts, Khan had not been paying much attention to the Vulcan healer, though he had noted when she had left. It was not long after that she returned with the human doctor who Khan had recognized from the _Enterprise_. Another close associate of Kirk's if the familiar way that the captain had addressed the other man was any indication.

"I wish to speak to Kirk," Khan had demanded with as much dignity as he could muster, given the way his voice broke over his wheezing words. He hoped at least he would regain the use of his voice soon so at least he would sound as pathetic as he probably did right now.

As he suspected, the doctor did not look impressed. But Khan was a bit surprised when the other man had nodded in reply.

"When I'm done with my examination, I'll get him." The doctor had answered gruffly, then without waiting for Khan's reply began his examination. He had been a little surprised that the doctor was so thorough and not overly-rough with him, given the man had every reason, and opportunity, to be. He should probably be thankful for that, given his usual treatment by doctors and scientists. Over the years Khan had developed an extreme dislike of being touched by anyone - for any reason - because of it. His recent treatment by Starfleet scientists had brought many painful memories back to the surface, making it all the more difficult. But it was nothing he had not endured before, and he did so stoically, having little choice to do otherwise.

Once the doctor had finished his examination and given him a few less-than-pleasant injections, he left without a word. A short time later he returned with Captain Kirk in tow.

"Captain," Again, Khan hated how weak his voice sounded, and hated it even more when the young man grinned at him. Apparently amused by his weakness. Khan scowled, but he had suffered worse indignities for the sake of his family. "I wish to speak to the captain alone."

It was an obvious dismissal, and the first real sign of anger crossed the doctor's features due to it.

"Now see here...!" the older man began, but surprisingly, Kirk interrupted him.

"It's all right, Bones."

If possible the doctor's expression turned even more livid.

"The hell it is!" 'Bones' all but shouted.

"Just, give us five minutes. All right?"

Khan wasn't sure what it was in the young man's expression or tone that convinced the doctor because though the older man certainly appeared to want to protest more, he simply threw up his hands and stormed out of the room. Kirk did not appear pleased with his victory either, something almost like regret, or even guilt, flashing across his face for a split second as he watched the doctor leave before he turned back to Khan.

"How are you feeling?" the young man asked him, his tone carefully measured, polite, almost business-like.

Khan, in no mood for games, scowled again as he replied.

"Let us skip the pleasantries, Captain. What do you want from me?"

* * *

 

Jim tried to remind himself that Khan recovering, with apparently his personality and mental facilities, intact, was a good thing. Though it was a little difficult to remain pleasant when each time the older man said 'Captain' it sounded more like 'fuck you'.

Really though, Jim couldn't blame the man for being...well...pissed off. Khan had been through hell: enslaved while his family was held hostage, tortured, used in inhuman lab experiments, and the man had nearly died. Khan had every right to be defensive. Why should he think Kirk was any different? Jim knew he would need to tread very, very, carefully in the next few minutes if there was to be any chance of Khan trusting him at all. Or at least not attempt to murder him in the near future.

Jim decided to answer honestly. "I want any information you have about Marcus' plans, and to know what you meant back in the lab, when you said the Federation would burn itself from the inside out." Khan didn't appear all that surprised.

"In exchange for what?"

And it was just like that moment in Medbay when Khan had said those very same words to him. When Jim had needed Khan's help taking the _Vengeance_ and Kirk had failed perhaps one of the most important tests of his life. Just like everyone before, Jim had tried to use Khan's crew as a bargaining chip against the man. Worse, it was a promise Jim had no real hope of keeping - promising to ensure his crew's safety when, Khan was right, Jim couldn't even ensure the safety of his own crew. Khan's crew certainly wasn't safe now with Starfleet.

"Nothing," Jim said, and one of Khan's dark eyebrows arched. Jim realized that had come out wrong.

"I meant, whether you give me the information or not, it's your choice. I'm asking, not demanding, and it isn't a condition for me helping you or anything. Whether or not you give me the information, I'm still going to try to get justice for what happened to you. I'm going to get you a real trial, I'll testify on your behalf and, hell, maybe they'll be more lenient with you, given the circumstances. I'm also going to keep the promise I made on the _Enterprise_ , to make sure your crew is safe, whether or not you tell me. But any information you can give me will probably help me do that."

The way the augment's eyebrows rose a fraction hopefully meant that Jim had succeeded in surprising the older man, in a good way. Yes, some of those promises would be a little more difficult to keep, given Jim's current status as a criminal, wanted by Starfleet for treason but... That didn't mean he wouldn't still try. If Jim could only figure out who he could trust...

"Why?" Khan asked, his mask of stoicism firmly back in place. And really, Jim should have expected the question. Why should Khan believe anyone would do anything for him and expect nothing in return?

"Because it's the right thing to do, Khan. What happened to you..." Khan's expression darkened and Jim almost stopped talking, but it was probably best to get through this now, when Khan couldn't decide to choke him to shut him up. "What happened to you was despicable and illegal. Starfleet never would have sanctioned it if they knew what those scientists were doing..."

"You are very naive, captain," Khan said, sounding tired, and a bit like he was speaking to an idiot.

"I mean it, Khan. Experimentation on sentient beings has been illegal for more than a century. No matter what their reasons..."

"What do you think you know of their 'reasons', Kirk?" Okay, that was just nasty. Jim knew he was walking on very thin ice right now with the augment.

"Bones thought that they were infecting you with those diseases to create antibodies so cures could be made for others..." Jim explained, and boy, he really did feel like a naive child sometimes when talking to Khan. Especially when the augment laughed. It was not a pleasant sound.

"Curing the masses? Oh, surely you can do better than that, Captain," Khan hissed, and Jim was at a loss. Khan sighed. "Don't be simple. Think. Could there be another advantage to possessing a cure to a disease that would kill anyone else infected with it?"

Jim frowned, and then paled as an idea occurred to him. But it was too horrible...

Khan looked strangely pleased.

"Yes, Captain. Your precious Starfleet has been manufacturing biological weapons."


	20. Chapter 20

"And you believed him?"

Bones was the first to speak following the long silence that fell after Jim had finished explaining to the rest of his crew what Khan had told him during their brief talk. The older man's tone, basically implying that he was either insane or an imbecile, hadn't changed since Jim had found the doctor waiting for him (standing guard was more like it) outside of Khan's room. Jim flashed a disapproving frown at the other man but Bones' expression didn't change, a testament to just how pissed off the older man still was, and Jim repressed a sigh of frustration. He couldn't really blame Bones for being angry. He even agreed with the doctor about some of his complaints.

_"I'm his doctor, god damn it, not his god damned servant!"_

Bones had complained rather loudly and vehemently.

 _"Sorry, Bones. Thanks for coming to get me when he woke up. I know that was a bit abrupt, but I just didn't want to give him the chance to change his mind about talking..."_ Jim had apologized, but the fact that Khan was not only willing to speak to him, but had asked to speak to him was too good an opportunity to pass up. There was no telling if or when the man would be willing to do so again.

Of course that had only given Bones an opening for his next rant.

 _"And what was that shit about agreeing to talk with him alone, Jim?! Alone! Have you forgotten he nearly shot you out of a god damned air lock last time?!"_ Bones snapped at him, and Jim realized the real reason the doctor was so pissed off at him. He probably believed Jim was taking stupid risks again for no reason.

But the man was half-dead! What did Bones really expect Khan would do to him?

 _"Since we're not out in space, I don't think we have to worry about him trying that again anytime soon."_ Jim had tried to joke to dissolve some of the tension, and winced a little when Bones merely glared at him without so much as cracking a smile. The older man's glower only got worse when Jim refused to divulge what Khan had told him until they got the rest of the crew together.

Honestly, Jim wasn't sure if Bones was more angry with Khan or with him and they would probably have to have a long talk later on, alone, but now wasn't the time. A quick look at the faces of the rest of his crew also showed varying degrees of disbelief mingled with horror at his words. Jim hadn't expected it would be easy to convince them, he was still having a very hard time believing it himself. But if it were true...

"I don't have any reason not to believe him," Jim stated simply. To which Bones crossed his arms and snorted.

"How about the fact that he's a lying bastard?" The doctor began, but before Jim could open his mouth Spock, surprisingly, interrupted Bones.

"While I agree with the doctor's latter assessment of Khan's character, I'm afraid I must disagree with the former. Thus far, Mr. Singh has not shown any inclination of outright lying," Spock stated, sounding reluctant to do so, but the Vulcan did have a point. No one was suggesting that Khan was a saint. Or incapable of lying. Far from it. But he hadn't lied to them yet. Maybe if Kirk had believed Khan earlier about Marcus they wouldn't have been so caught off guard by the admiral's attack, and some of his crew who had died would still be alive.

"How can you say that when he betrayed us the first chance he got?"

This time it was Jim who interrupted.

"Not before I betrayed him," he said softly and with no small amount of shame. Shame his friends would no doubt call him an idiot for feeling. Especially given what Spock had revealed later, what his elder self knew of Khan from his timeline, it didn't matter that Khan probably would have betrayed them anyway. Jim hadn't given him a choice. He'd backed a lion into a corner. He'd betrayed the man, just as every other before him had, leaving Khan almost no other option but to lash out. They would never know if it could have ended differently.

"But how can eet be true?" Chekov's soft voice broke through before any real argument could erupt between the senior officers. It took Jim a moment to realize that the young man wasn't talking about Jim's actions on the _Vengeance_ , but Khan's claim that Starfleet was manufacturing biological weapons for some unknown, and most likely, sinister purpose. It was true Admiral Marcus had been building new state-of-the-art weapons and war ships in preparation for a war between the Federation and the Klingons, a war Marcus had every intention of starting himself. That was bad enough. But biological weapons... That was on a whole different level.

At least torpedoes and phasers could be aimed, their targets primarily military, but unleashing a deadly disease with no cure upon a population... That wasn't war, that was genocide. It was difficult to believe any civilized race stooping to such extremes, much less Starfleet.

Yet after seeing what had been done to Khan...

"I can't believe that the entirety of Starfleet High Command is corrupt and a part of this. Maybe Khan is wrong, but clearly something is going on. At the very least, we need to find out what it is, expose it, and if possible, put a stop to it. To do any of that, we need to find out exactly who is involved and what their plans are," Jim said it matter-of-factly and with more confidence than he really felt. As though it wasn't a near impossible task set before them.

Then again, it wasn't the first time he'd asked them to do the impossible. And looking to each of his crew in turn, seeing their trust and confidence in him if nothing else, was equally humbling and empowering. They'd done the impossible before. They could do it again.

Bones gave a gruff sigh, equal parts frustration and resignation, but nodded slightly indicating that he was with Jim as well, all the way, even if he did think it was more than a little insane. "All right, fine. Where do we start then? I don't suppose that bastard told you anything useful during your little chat?"

It was Jim's turn to sigh in frustration this time as he shook his head. Of course, once he'd gotten over the sheer shock from Khan's revelation, he'd tried to get Khan to tell him more about the biological weapons, what they were planning to be used for, and who was behind it. But the man had clammed up pretty quick after that, telling him that perhaps they would speak more once Jim had proven himself trustworthy.

Low blow.

But all Jim had to do was take one look at Khan, his near-skeletal features and his body decimated by illness, to remember why the man had no reason to trust him, or anyone in Starfleet for that matter. So that meant Jim had to give him a reason to trust him.

"No. I'm sure he knows more, but I don't think he's going to talk until we give him a good reason to. In the meantime we need to find out what we can on our own, and try to find out what happened to Khan's crew as well. If we can do that, I think Khan will be more willing to cooperate," Jim stated with certainty.

Uhura looked a little doubtful but determined, Sulu and Scotty both appeared eager to get started, Spock was impossible to read, and Chekov looked overwhelmed by everything he'd heard but ready to help in any way he could. Well all-in-all, it could have been worse.

"If I might offer a suggestion, Captain," Spock interjected. "A Vulcan mind meld could potentially gain the information we require, with or without Khan's cooperation."

At first Jim could only stare at Spock in shock.

"You want to rip the information out of his head?" Surprisingly it was Bones who spoke up, sounding more than a bit horrified at the suggestion. Given the doctor's sentiment towards Khan thus far, Jim was rather surprised he would put up any kind of protest on the man's behalf. But then again, Bones had never been all that trusting of Vulcan telepathic abilities, and Khan was his patient.

"It would be a painless process, Doctor, as long as Khan does not resist, and it would gain us the information we require in a timely fashion. Given the circumstances, I do believe haste is in order." Spock looked to Jim with a raised eyebrow in question. Maybe it was the 'logical' solution to their problem. Khan had the information they needed, information that could potentially save countless lives. But still...

Spock said it would be painless as long as Khan did not resist. What were the chances that Khan wouldn't resist? Slim to none. After everything the man had been through the idea of basically mentally raping him left Jim feeling more than a little ill.

"No, Spock," Jim replied firmly, earning him a clearly surprised look from the Vulcan who apparently could not see anything wrong with his suggestion. The worst part was, a few weeks ago, Jim might have gone along with Spock's plan with little hesitation. After all, Khan was a criminal, a murderer; he'd killed one of the best men Jim had ever known, he'd killed hundreds more after. Who knew how many more might die if he didn't give them the information they needed?

But just as before when Bones told him that Khan had been handed over to the science division for experimentation, before he'd even seen what had actually been done to the man, Jim realized no matter what Khan had done, it did not give them the right to treat him as less than human. He was a man, not an object to be exploited as they saw fit. That is what Marcus and those scientists had done. Painless or not, if Khan did not consent to the mind meld it was a violation, and would make them no better than those who'd hurt Khan before.

_"You are very naive, Captain."_

Jim could almost hear Khan's words echo in his ears, and he knew even Khan himself would probably think he was an idiot for refusing Spock's suggestion. If their places were reversed, Khan probably wouldn't have hesitated to use whatever means necessary to get what he wanted.

But he wasn't Khan.

"We'll keep it in mind as a last resort, but I don't think it will come to that, Spock. I want you and Uhura to get in touch with any Starfleet personnel you know whom you know we can trust without a doubt. We're going to need help, especially from those on the inside if we're going to have any chance of pulling this off. Chekov and Scotty, try to patch into Starfleet's network without raising any red flags. I know it's a long shot, but see if you can dig up any information on Khan's crew, the experiments that were done on him, and anything else that might be relevant. Sulu, see if you can find us a ship, I think we're going to need one sooner rather than later. We can't hide here forever."

"Yes, Keptin."

"Aye, Sir."

"Yes, Captain."

"Yes, Sir."

Came the chorus from Chekov, Scotty, Uhura, and Sulu before they took their leave. Bones headed out soon after as well, muttering something about going to check on his patient, finally leaving Jim alone with Spock. Once again the half-Vulcan's expression, or lack thereof, almost cold and too polite as it had been since Jim's most recent near death experience, made something twist painfully in the young man's chest.

It was quickly followed by an almost irrational flare of anger, and Jim nearly growled in frustration.

"For fucks sake, Spock! Just get it over with. Yell at me! Punch me! Whatever! Just stop all...this!" Jim shouted, gesturing to the Vulcan who had the good grace to look a bit taken aback by the young man's outburst.

"Captain, I am not sure to what you are referring..." Spock began but Jim cut him off angrily.

"Bullshit. You've barely spoken a word to me since I got sick, and even now you treat me like a god damned stranger. What the hell, Spock? Just tell me -"

"What exactly are your intentions with Khan, Captain?" Spock suddenly interrupted, and the question was shocking enough to silence Jim mid-rant and leave his mouth hanging open. A moment later he forced himself to close it with an audible click.

"My intentions?" Jim finally managed when Spock did not seem willing to elaborate.

"Back in the hospital you expressed concern that Khan's treatment was unjust. Later you expressed concern that there was a persisting threat within Starfleet and expressed a need to gather further information, Khan being a convenient source for this information, which I agreed with. Hence our mission to find him. Liberating Khan from his imprisonment..."

"Are you saying we should have left him there?!"

"...was never our goal, but given his treatment during his incarceration, I agree it would have been morally wrong to leave him within the science facility. However, I find your actions increasingly irrational when it comes to Khan. For instance, your attempts to revive him after he took you hostage..."

"I thought he was dying, Spock! None of us knew..."

"...would prove ultimately futile. Even if you had managed to revive the man his demise from the disease ravaging his body was almost assured, and all your efforts would ensure is that you would die with him. Now we have reason to believe the conspiracy within Starfleet is not only real but far more sinister and far-reaching, we have the means to gain the information we need to uncover it. Yet you hesitate apparently due to moral principles..."

"It's wrong, Spock!"

"...which I can completely understand, Captain. What I do not understand is your seemingly unnatural sympathy towards a man who you should have every reason, to hate. You are a virtuous man, Captain, and if you were to do all of this for a friend, I would not question your motives. But your willingness to sacrifice everything, your career, your very life for this man - an enemy - is simply not in character. I can only assume something is clouding your judgement. You seem to have forgotten who and what Khan Noonien Singh is, and I wish to know why that is."

Jim's eyes suddenly turned cold and hard as steel.

"I haven't forgotten what he is, Spock. Though I think you have," Jim stated slowly, enunciating every word very deliberately.

"Perhaps you would enlighten me then, Captain."

"He's a human being."

Spock reacted as though he'd been slapped, flinching visibly before growing unnaturally still. Both men stood frozen, glaring at each other for a long time before Spock finally gave Jim a curt nod.

"As I am only half-human, perhaps the reasoning escapes me. Excuse me, Captain." Spock stated stiffly, before turning and marching swiftly towards the door. Now it was Jim's turn to flinch as though the other man had just delivered a blow to his gut.

God damn it. He hadn't meant...

"Spock, wait!"

Jim honestly hadn't expected Spock to listen to him, but thankfully he did. Spock stopped at the threshold of his door, and though the half-Vulcan didn't turn around to face him, at least he waited for Jim to speak.

"I...maybe you're right. My judgement has been clouded. I honestly didn't even realize it until now. But you're right," Jim said softly. His heart lifted a little when Spock turned to him once more and stepped back inside the room, the door closing silently behind him.

Jim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He sat down on the edge of his bed, knowing it would be better if he were sitting for this. Spock waited patiently while Jim gathered his thoughts.

"Have you ever heard of Tarsus IV?" Jim finally asked.

The slight frown that crossed Spock's face told Jim enough even before the Vulcan spoke.

"No, Captain. I have not."

"When I was ten, I drove my uncle's antique car off of a cliff," Jim said matter-of-factly and couldn't stop himself from chuckling softly at the look on Spock's face. "The bastard deserved it. Anyway, he was pretty pissed off. I'd been staying with him while my mother was off-planet and, well, after that he wanted me as far away as possible. I didn't have any other family living on Earth that I could stay with, so my mother arranged for me to stay with cousins on Tarsus IV."

Jim's voice lost every trace of his previous mirth as he continued.

"For a while it was good. Better than good, actually. I was...happy... here. Then it happened. A new fungus destroyed most of the colony's food supply. Emergency transmissions were sent to Starfleet but help was too far away. We would all starve before help could arrive. There was only enough food left for about half of the colonists."

God, he hadn't thought about that time in so long. He'd never wanted to think of it again.

"Governor Kodos decided it was better that half of the colonists survived than none at all, so he ordered the deaths of over four thousand people. He decided which of us were 'worthy' enough to survive. Men, women, and children were butchered like animals, Spock. No one tried to stop him..."

He'd tried to forget it, but how could he? The fear that had been so thick in the air he could practically taste it when they were all gathered and sorted. They'd known. Even though the soldiers had given no indication which group was meant to die, they'd still known. Jim had managed to escape. He could still remember the screams as he ran. Refusing to look back. Knowing if he did, he would probably die as well. He remembered hiding in the sewers amongst all the filth, knowing it was the only place they wouldn't look, only coming out in the deepest part of the night to search for food, more often than not returning to his hiding place with a stomach that grew more empty day after day, often having to fight for what little scraps he did manage to find. Having to kill another boy because he would have killed Jim to take what he'd found...

"Jim..."

Spock's voice pulled Jim out of horrific memories of the past and the young man tried to give the Vulcan a reassuring smile, but he knew he failed. Probably looked more like a grimace than anything.

"It was like we weren't even human anymore. We were just...expendable. Marcus, those scientists, and what they did to Khan. It's the same thing. Because of who he is, what he is, they treated him like a tool to be used and discarded. But he's still a human being, Spock, no matter what he's done, and he deserves to be treated like one for once," Jim stated firmly.

Spock stared at him for a long time before he finally nodded in understanding.

"I understand, Jim, and you are correct. All I ask is that you do not forget what else he is." Spock paused, and Jim nodded for him to continue. "He is someone who does not regard human life as highly as you do. He has killed before, and will do so again in order to achieve his goals. He will not be an invalid for long. I suggest you use extreme caution when dealing with Khan."

Jim gave Spock a smile that was a little bit more genuine than before, even if it was still a little strained.

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten."


	21. Chapter 21

Khan was lying in the biobed with his eyes closed even though he wasn't asleep. It was a simple way to ensure that he was not disturbed if the healers who routinely entered and exited his room believed he was asleep. Though the ill-tempered human doctor that had come to check on him some time ago had not been fooled by it. Either that, or he had not cared whether or not he woke Khan.

The plate of food that had been brought to him remained untouched on the small table beside his bed. Even as bland as the food no doubt was, the smell still turned his stomach. The human doctor had scolded him for not eating, then almost grudgingly offered him something for his nausea. Khan had refused, informing the doctor that his body would remove the drug from his system far too quickly for it to be truly effective. One of the drawbacks of his rapid metabolism.

The doctor had not pushed the matter, knowing as well as Khan did that the nutrients being delivered into his system via IV would be sufficient to sustain him for the time being. The man had left not long after, though not before giving him another dose of pain suppressants. Like any other drug, their effectiveness would be limited due to his biology, but the brief relief was still welcome, and the gesture surprising to Khan.

Speaking of gestures that surprised him, Khan was still contemplating the meaning behind Kirk's during their brief talk. The young man had succeeded in surprising him. Not an easy feat. Yet somehow this man had managed it. As he had suspected, Kirk wanted the information Khan possessed regarding Marcus' and Starfleet's plans. No, that part didn't surprise him. What surprised him had been the way that Kirk attempted to gain that information. Khan had been prepared for manipulation, promises that Kirk could not possibly keep, even threats of violence. Instead, Kirk asked for nothing, demanded nothing. Instead he offered!

He offered justice. Justice...as though Khan even believed in the word anymore. He offered to testify on Khan's behalf, as though that would make any difference in the end. But it had been the last offer that had come as such a shock. The offer to keep the promise that Kirk had made him, to ensure the safety of his crew. Even though Kirk had no means of keeping that promise, it was still surprising. And the claim that he would do so whether or not Khan gave him what he wanted...

No, Khan did not believe Kirk for one second. Still, he had managed to surprise him and that did not happen often. Then Kirk had managed to surprise him a second time. After Khan had dropped his little titbit of information regarding the experiments done upon him, he'd refused to tell the young captain anything more. His little barb about 'trust' an obvious taunt and yet the young man hadn't dropped his act immediately as Khan had expected him to. He could see that the man was angry with his silence, and yet Kirk had not fallen back on threats or offers of bribery. Instead he'd simply excused himself and told Khan to let him know if he wanted to talk again.

Even several hours later Khan could not decide what to make of the exchange. Kirk was certainly up to something. Perhaps the man thought he could outsmart Khan. Or perhaps he believed that pretty promises alone would be enough to convince Khan to divulge all his secrets, but surely even Kirk was not so foolish. Khan was loathe to turn down Kirk's offer to help him find his crew, which was precisely the arrangement that Khan had hoped to gain in the first place, yet the fact that Kirk had offered that help in exchange for 'nothing' made the augment very uneasy.

It seemed the day was not done offering him surprises, as the arrival of his next visitor proved.

If it was any other, Khan would probably have ignored him like he'd ignored every other who'd entered. Yet despite recent events, Khan did possess a strong instinct of self-preservation, and he was not about to turn his back upon a potential threat.

Yet when he opened his eyes and turned to face the half-Vulcan, a slight widening of his eyes was the only indication Khan gave to his surprise.

"Mr. Spock," Khan greeted with a hint of disdain despite his intrigue at the turn of events.

The far older features of the Vulcan he remembered showed no hint of surprise, only a slight raising of one eyebrow.

"That is quite an assumption," The voice, rough and aged but still recognizable, held a hint of question. Khan merely snorted softly. He was not about to give away all of his secrets after all. And as curious as Khan was to understand how there could be two of the same person - one old and one young - here at the same time, he doubted that the half-Vulcan would be willing to elaborate.

"To what do I owe this dubious pleasure, Mr. Spock?" Khan asked instead.

The old Vulcan stared at Khan for a long time before speaking again.

"I once made a vow not to interfere, and yet, in light of recent events, I find myself in a quandary. Events have already veered far from their previous course, so my involvement should mean little in shaping the future. However..." the old Vulcan began cryptically enough to make Khan frown deeply. Seeing his confusion, Spock gave him a half-smile that was in no way kind.

Whoever said that Vulcans did not display emotion was either a naive imbecile, or a liar. Probably the same imbecile who said that Vulcans do not lie.

"I am here to give you a warning, Mr. Singh. Your arrogance and desire for vengeance was once your undoing. It may be so again if you are not careful."

Confused to say the least, Khan could not think of a reply before the old Vulcan turned and left the room. Leaving Khan with far more to ponder than he'd ever imagined.

* * *

 

When Spock left the room, Jim felt a lot more at ease than he had in a while. He hadn't even realized how much extra stress the strain on their friendship had been causing him until some of it had been eased. He wouldn't go so far as to say everything was back to the way it had been before, but it was definitely a step in the right direction. The small smile that Spock had given him before the Vulcan left to carry out his orders had been as warm and reassuring as the one he'd given Jim when he first awoke in the Starfleet hospital.

That wasn't to say that the encounter didn't leave him with much to think about. Some of it disturbing. When Spock had asked him his intentions towards Khan, honestly, Jim wasn't sure he knew the answer. Jim hadn't even realized how much his past experience on Tarsus IV had been influencing his decisions until Spock forced him to admit it. It had happened so long ago and he had buried those memories deep, or tried to at least.

Just talking to Spock about what had happened was painful and difficult, left him feeling exhausted and drained, and he hadn't even given Spock any real details. No, Jim knew he would relive those details later - in nightmares - while he was sleeping. And probably for many nights to come until he'd successfully buried those memories once more. As tired as Jim felt, he had no desire for sleep any time soon.

Had his experience in the warp core, feeling as scared and helpless as he had when he was a child on Tarsus IV, brought some of those memories back to the surface? Or at least into his subconscious, coloring his every action that followed? Had he been reacting irrationally?

Looking back, Jim didn't think so. He still would have made the same decisions. He wouldn't have left things alone once he learned about the experiments being done on Khan. He definitely wouldn't have left the man to continue to be tortured by those scientists. He wouldn't have just let the man die at his feet without trying to do something. And letting Spock perform the mind meld on Khan, any way he looked at it, still seemed like a violation and what he told Spock was true.

Khan deserved to be treated like a human being.

At the same time, Spock had a point. Jim couldn't let himself forget what Khan was. A murderer. Possibly a psychopath. He was a criminal who had to pay for his crimes one way or another. Once this was all over Khan would still have to face judgement for what he had done, the destruction he'd caused, the people he'd killed, no matter what his reasons were. Khan still had every reason to try to betray them, maybe even kill them, to attempt escape. And Spock was right. Khan would not be helpless forever, probably not even for very long. Jim would have to be very, very, careful when dealing with the augment. He'd underestimated Khan once before and it had nearly gotten him and his entire crew killed. Jim could not afford to do so again.

Sighing heavily, Jim got up and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He checked the chronometer and sighed at the displayed time. It was obscenely late, or early, depending on how one wanted to look at it. Most of his crew had probably retired to their quarters by now, and even if they hadn't, Jim didn't really want to risk contacting them to find out and risk waking them up in the dead of night. Who knew when they'd be able to get any real rest in the future?

Deciding that a walk would probably clear his head, or at least exhaust him enough that he hoped he wouldn't dream when he finally did go to sleep, Jim left his room. The corridors of the Vulcan medical facility were darkened, as expected in the dead of night, and Jim tried to keep his footfalls as light as possible so as not to disturb any patients that may be trying to rest.

He didn't even really realize that he was heading towards the section where Khan was being cared for until he was halfway there, and by then he decided it wouldn't really hurt to check in on the other man. The augment was probably resting, and Jim wasn't going to disturb him if he was, but if he was awake maybe he could convince the man to talk to him a bit more. Really, any information Khan was willing to divulge would help them immensely as right now they were more or less stumbling around in the dark.

When Jim reached the hallway Khan's room was located, a sound in the dark made the young man freeze. It sounded like a groan of pain... When Jim looked around he realized that this hallway seemed darker than all the others. Though his eyes had adjusted long ago and he hadn't realized it until now, and he cursed himself for not paying attention. It took him far longer than it should have to see the shape of the body slumped within the shadows of a doorway.

"Jim..." came the weak whisper of a voice the young man recognized all too well, and Jim's eyes went wide as he rushed over to Spock. Not his young first officer, but his elder self who Jim had met on Delta Vega. Jim dropped to his knees beside the old Vulcan and now that he was closer he could clearly see the dark stain of blood covering the front of Spock's robes, dark green droplets slipping between the fingers clutching at his own chest.

"Oh my god, Spock... What..." Jim shook himself and grabbed his communicator. "Bones! Bones, I need you down here now! In the hallway outside Khan's room! Hurry!"

Jim dropped his communicator then, not waiting for a response, as he pressed his hands against the wound on the old Vulcan's chest trying desperately to stem the flow of blood.

"Spock, what the hell happened?" Jim almost didn't want to ask. He wanted the old Vulcan to conserve his strength, but at the same time he wanted to keep Spock talking so he wouldn't lose consciousness. This was not a small wound...this... Oh god...

"Khan..." Spock managed to gasp, coughing weakly. Green blood stained the old Vulcan's mouth. Jim felt himself go cold. Colder than those arctic winds on Delta Vega where they'd first met.

Khan? Khan had done this? How? Had he underestimated the augment after all? It didn't seem possible but...

Spock's eyes began to close.

"Spock! No! Stay with me, Spock! Stay with me!"


	22. Chapter 22

Leonard McCoy wasn't sure what to expect when he received Jim's desperate com message that woke him from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. His first thought had been that Khan had some kind of relapse. The sheer panic in the young man's voice had been enough to burn away any lingering sluggishness from sleep as the doctor jerked upright in his bed and went diving for his communicator. And when Jim didn't answer his request for more information, McCoy barely took the time to throw on shirt and a pair of trousers before he rushed out of his room with his medical kit.

In his mad dash down the medical corridors he managed to snag a couple of Vulcan healers who followed him without much prompting. Since he wasn't sure what to expect, it was best to be prepared for anything. But still when he arrived in the darkened corridor outside of Khan's hospital room Leonard still wasn't quite prepared to find Jim crouched over the fallen body of the old Vulcan Spock, the young man's hands covered in green blood and a widening pool of it surrounding them both.

"Jim!" Leonard shouted in alarm, concerned for his friend, but even more concerned for the fallen Vulcan who might already be dead from the looks of things. The doctor almost had to shove Jim out of the way to get to Spock, one of the Vulcan healers joining him in his desperate attempt to stabilize the injured man while the other called for emergency personnel and security.

"Jim, what the hell happened?!" the doctor shouted, though he never took his eyes off his patient as he worked. He almost missed the stunned whisper from the young man behind him.

"Khan..."

Leonard barely took the time to glance at the younger man. The man was just standing there, staring down at his hands as though he were in shock. Hell, he probably was in shock. But Leonard couldn't possibly spare the time to examine his friend when he was trying desperately to save the dying Vulcan on the floor. Surely Jim couldn't have meant...

"Khan? Jim, that's impossible..."

There was just no way in his condition that Khan could have overpowered a full-grown Vulcan, even one as elderly as this Spock. Plus, this was a phaser wound, where would he have gotten it?

"He said it was Khan!" Jim suddenly shouted, his expression no longer slack with shock but twisted in rage that turned his normally handsome features into something frightening and ugly. Leonard McCoy had never seen it before and it fucking scared the hell out of him.

"Jim!" But Jim wasn't listening to him anymore. The young man started running down the hall and there was only one place Leonard could think of that the younger man was heading. Khan couldn't have gotten far. There was nowhere for him to hide. His only chance would be to get off the planet as soon as possible. "Jim!"

God damn it!

Jim was gone, probably to the nearest hangar to confront Khan, and there was no way McCoy could just leave the dying Vulcan to go after the crazy young man. All Leonard could do was try to keep the elder Spock alive long enough for help to arrive. It took only minutes, but even those minutes seemed too long in the doctor's opinion.

Leonard stepped away to allow the more experienced Vulcan healers to take control of the wounded Vulcan. As they carefully loaded Spock onto an antigrav stretcher to take him to emergency surgery, McCoy addressed one of the healers, "Get Commander Spock down here immediately. The ambassador will probably need a transfusion and Spock is the best choice! And tell security to go to the nearest hangar as soon as possible!"

Knowing he could do no more for the old Vulcan, McCoy ran down the hallway after his friend. None of this made any sense and Leonard was afraid that Jim was running right into a trap.

* * *

 

The strong metallic smell of blood filled his nose with every breath he took. It was sticky and cloying, he could practically taste it in the back of his throat. It covered the front of his clothes where he'd been hunched over the old Vulcan's supine body, it coated his fingers where he'd desperately tried to keep it from flowing out, it stuck thick and drying to his trousers where he'd knelt in an ever widening pool of green.

Jim Kirk knew he must look quite the sight, running through the empty halls covered in Vulcan blood, but there was no one to stop him. Not that Jim really cared what he looked like, or what others might think, nor would he have stopped if anyone was there to try. All he cared about was getting to the hangar, it was the only place Khan could have gone, to stop the man before he could possibly leave the planet, and then...

And then...

Jim clenched his fists so tight that his fingernails bit into his palm and his own blood began to mix with that of the old Vulcan's drying on his fingers. Khan had killed Christopher Pike, shot him in cold blood. Now Spock... He could be dead by now as far as Jim knew. There was no way Jim was going to allow Khan to walk away from this alive. Jim had been a fool. Spock was right. He'd been blinded by his own good intentions. He'd let himself forget what Khan was, what the man was capable of, and now...

Spock.

Looking back Jim would probably name this moment as one of the stupidest things he'd ever done. After all, he wasn't even armed, he was alone, and he had no idea what to expect when he reached the hangar. Yet he charged in without thinking, only to freeze in place at the strange tableau before him.

Khan was indeed in the hangar, but he wasn't alone. There were three other men with him. They wore black combat suits, complete with face masks to conceal their identities. Two were dragging the weakly-struggling augment between them, his arms manacled behind him, his body beaten and bloodied, towards a shuttle primed and waiting for the group. They all froze when Kirk entered the hangar, and the third was already raising a phaser aimed in Jim's direction.

When Spock had said Khan's name, Jim had immediately assumed he meant Khan had attacked him. Jim hadn't even considered it might mean that Khan was in trouble.

Yup, definitely the stupidest thing he'd ever done.

"Well, would you look at this, boys? Two for the price of one." The man holding the phaser pointed at his chest, laughed, and the two other men holding Khan joined in. "James T. Kirk, I presume? Unfortunately for you, we don't need to take you alive."

At that moment Khan lifted his head and their eyes locked. Oddly enough, it wasn't defeat that Jim saw in that gaze, but determination. It was the only warning Jim got before Khan surged forward, probably dislocating his shoulders in the process but the augment gave no sign of the pain he must be in. His arms might have been bound but his legs were free and he kicked out at the third man aiming the phaser at Jim. The phaser bolt that would have fried Jim right through the chest went wide and Jim wasted no time diving for cover, several other phaser bolts narrowly missing him.

"God damn it! Get him on the shuttle! Now!" the third man, he must be the leader or something, shouted. Fuck! He couldn't let them take Khan! But he was completely pinned behind these crates, if he even tried to show his face...

"Jim!"

It was Bones' voice and he wasn't alone. The Vulcan security officers immediately opened fire on the trio of men who were forced to take cover and return fire. Knowing it was probably the only chance Jim would have, he grabbed the first thing at hand that could be used as a weapon, it turned out to be a large wrench, and ran out from behind his cover. Bones was probably going to kill him, but he couldn't worry about that right now. Using the distraction the Vulcans had provided, Jim used whatever cover he could find, dodging phaser bolts that would have fried him in a second, as he made his way around and behind the three men, attempting to cut off the men restraining Khan from reaching the shuttle.

They were obviously well-organized and well-trained, but Jim still managed to take them by surprise. He hit one man hard enough with the wrench that his helmet cracked, and he went down like a ton of bricks. As Jim hoped, the other man released Khan, who also dropped to the ground with enough force to make Jim wince but he couldn't worry about that right now, as the man was raising a phaser at him. Jim threw the wrench, hitting him in the arm, and the phaser bolt only grazed Jim's shoulder instead of piercing his heart. Not letting him get a second shot off, Jim wasted no time tackling the man to the ground.

The fact that the man was wearing combat armor was a distinct advantage, and Jim's punches and kicks didn't do much damage as they rolled around on the ground, but at least he managed to keep the man from shooting him. Unfortunately Jim himself was still recovering from his own recent illness and his strength was fading fast. A lucky punch to the ribs knocked the air from his lungs and made him see stars as the man finally managed to shove Jim off of him.

The phaser was once more aimed at him, this time right between his eyes, and this time there wasn't anything Jim could do to avoid it. Jim flinched when he heard the phaser fire...only it didn't come from the one aimed at him, and the young man blinked in shock at the smouldering hole that had somehow appeared in the chest of the man about to kill him.

As the man fell, almost in slow motion, Jim turned to see Khan kneeling on the ground next to the first man that Jim had knocked out. His hands were now free, the fallen man must have had the key to the manacles somewhere on him, and though Khan looked more than a little worse-for-wear, the phaser in his hand was utterly steady. It was still aimed at the man who had been about to kill Jim, as though to make sure he was indeed dead.

Seeing as how they were still in the middle of a firefight and in danger of getting shot, Jim pushed himself up from the ground, ignoring his various aches and rushed over to Khan who was already beginning to list weakly to the side. Jim caught the man around his torso and dragged him to cover. The fact that the augment didn't even protest the manhandling was testament to just how weakened he was by everything that had happened.

Once more Jim called himself a fool. How could he have even thought...

Thankfully it was all over rather quickly after that. The Vulcan security forces took the unconscious man into custody. The two others were dead. Khan relinquished his borrowed phaser without complaint and Bones rushed over to them both. Jim waved off the older man's concern for him; Khan was by far the worse off of the two of them.

"I'm all right, Bones. Take care of Khan," Jim ordered, and though Bones relented without a fight, he definitely threw the younger man his we're-talking-about-this-later-you-moron look before doing so. Jim winced a little. Yeah, he probably deserved that.

Khan lay still and stoically while Bones examined him, though those intense eyes never left Jim. The young man had a difficult time deciphering the look from the augment, and as it turned out, he didn't have much time to ponder it because Bones was already calling into his communicator to get an antigrav stretcher brought to the hangar as quickly as possible for Khan.

"Is he going to be all right?" Jim asked worriedly. Had those bastards done some real damage to Khan? It was difficult to tell at a glance given how poorly the augment had been before...

"He never should have been out of bed in the first place, much less in the middle of all this," the doctor replied with no small amount of irritation. "But mostly it's just bruises and lacerations. He must have put up a hell of a fight."

Jim realized it was probably rude to talk about the augment as though he wasn't even there, but Khan didn't seem to care. He simply closed his eyes when Bones gave him an injection of what was most likely pain suppressants, or even a mild sedative, given the way the augment's body began to relax soon afterwards.

The Vulcan healers soon arrived with the stretcher and they quickly got Khan aboard it to take him back to the medical facility. Jim grabbed Bones by the arm before the older man could follow them.

"Spock?" Jim asked, a little desperately, afraid of the answer. Bones sighed heavily and shook his head.

"I don't know, Jim. He was still alive when the Vulcan healers took over. They're probably still in surgery. But if he's anywhere near as stubborn as our Spock, I'm sure he'll pull through," Bones replied, for a moment his gruff tone replaced with one of complete sympathy and reassurance. His irritation at Jim for the moment had been put on hold so he could comfort his friend.

Bones took Jim by the arm and started to lead him along.

"Come on, let's get you back to medical too and let me take a look at you." Jim started to nod, but then he shook his head.

"Later. I want to talk to the man in custody..." Jim began, his earlier rage that had been previously directed at Khan beginning to resurface but now with a new target. That man, or one of his comrades, had surely been the one to injure Spock. They'd been ready to kill Jim too. But they had obviously wanted Khan alive. Jim could probably guess why, but he needed to be sure. He needed to question the man, find out what he knew, and hopefully the guy would be difficult so Jim could be justified in beating the information out of him...

Bones' hand tightened on his arm, not painfully but definitely forcefully, and it pulled Jim out of his dark thoughts.

"No, Jim. Now. You're done playing hero for the night. I'm still your doctor, god damn it. Don't make me sedate and drag your ass back to medical. The guy isn't going anywhere, you can question him later."

"Bones..."

"Jim!"

And Jim knew that tone all too well; Bones wasn't going to budge on this. He might be the captain, but as chief medical officer, Bones could still override his orders if he thought it necessary. While they technically weren't a part of Starfleet right now given Jim's current status as a traitor, Jim still found himself reluctant to push things. He'd given his friend enough trouble for one night.

With a heavy sigh, he nodded.

* * *

 

A couple hours later, Jim found himself once more wandering the darkened corridors of the medical facility. Bones had given him strict orders to rest, but Jim's body was still thrumming with too much excess adrenaline to sleep.

As much as Jim wanted the chance to question the prisoner, he was out of luck, as Vulcan security forces were still in the middle of their interrogation. Though they had agreed to let Jim question the man later, it would not be until they finished their own investigation. And that would probably not be until sometime in the morning at the earliest.

At least the Vulcan healers were good enough to give him an update on Ambassador Spock's condition, which was still critical, but at least he was alive. They currently weren't allowing any visitors however, much to Jim's dismay. He might still try to sneak in to see the old Vulcan, but as much as he desperately wanted to visit his friend, it was not him that Jim was now on his way to see.

Given the events of the evening, Vulcan security had wisely posted two guards outside of the augment's room, but they recognized Jim and allowed him to pass.

It was very early still, nearing daybreak but not there yet. Jim wouldn't have been shocked if Khan was asleep at this hour, given everything the man had been through. He must be exhausted. But at the same time he wasn't surprised to find Khan in fact awake. Khan did not seem all that surprised to see him there either.

"Did you know who those men were? What they wanted you for?" Jim asked bluntly, skipping the pleasantries as Khan had once put it.

The augment gave a weary nod.

"Of course. As you've probably already guessed, my blood is highly valuable to certain interested parties. One might even say it's the most valuable substance in the galaxy right now. Certainly valuable enough to kill for," Khan stated without much feeling. Jim clenched his hands at his sides but that was the only sign of his inner turmoil.

"Who were they?" He repeated.

Khan sighed softly, and for a long moment Jim wasn't sure if the man was going to answer him.

"Section 31."

Jim frowned.

"Section 31? The facility you bombed underneath the archive? I thought everyone was killed..."

Khan cut him off.

"Section 31 was not the name of that particular facility, but is, rather, a secret division within the ranks of Starfleet. Its title comes from Starfleet Charter: Article 14, Section 31, which allows for extraordinary measures to be taken in times of extreme threat. Since their conception, they have dealt with threats to Starfleet that most have never even known existed. Threats that have jeopardized the Federation's very survival, and yet, their existence has never been confirmed nor denied by Starfleet command. They answer to no one. You will never find a report detailing their missions, nor do they seek approval for their operations from anyone. To them, the ends always justify the means, and their operatives are not afraid to bend or break whatever Starfleet rules or regulations they require in order to complete their mission. Admiral Marcus, while not the leader of Section 31, for there is no proper chain of command within their ranks, was quite knowledgeable of their operations, and they supported his plans." Khan appeared even more exhausted after his explanation, and honestly Jim wasn't sure if he was more surprised by what the other man was telling him, or that Khan had agreed to tell him in the first place. But if what Khan said was true...

"Then how do we fight them?"

Khan smiled tiredly at the young man.

"You can't, Captain. You can't."


	23. Chapter 23

Khan should have known they would come for him eventually. It was only a matter of time.

Really, out of any planet in the galaxy on which Kirk could have tried to hide him, the foolish captain had chosen the worst possible one. After all, one of the senior members of the Enterprise crew involved in his escape was a Vulcan. A Vulcan who also happened to be the son of a high-ranking ambassador in a position to grant them asylum. Any operative with half a brain would come looking on this planet first.

Foolish. Extremely foolish. Khan only had himself to blame. He had become complacent. Allowed himself to be distracted. It did not matter that he had only been awake for barely a day and a half, he should have known better than to trust others with his safety, and his foolishness had nearly cost him his freedom for a third time.

He had been helpless; his body still nowhere near recovered from its recent trauma. Every last one of his reserves of energy had been depleted in order for his immune system to eradicate the virus that had nearly killed him. There was simply nothing left, and his body was barely recovering any faster than a normal human's at this point.

The visit from the old Vulcan Spock had not helped matters either, distracting Khan enough that he had not even sensed the threat until it was too late. The sound of a phaser being fired outside of his room had been his first and only warning that something was wrong. There had not been enough time to prepare. Not enough time to call for assistance.

They had rushed into his room as he attempted to free himself from his bedding and the various medical devices still attached to him. It was a pathetic, wasted effort; he didn't have the speed or the strength to manage it. Within seconds he was caught and bound. All his struggles barely slowed their progress as they'd dragged him from the room.

Pathetic.

Khan assumed they did not attempt to knock him out, either physically or chemically, because they'd been given orders not to damage him. Either that, or they simply enjoyed the control they had over him. The way they laughed at his ineffectual struggles implied as much. Whatever the reason, the only advantage he had was to be as difficult as possible, even if his struggles were ultimately useless. If he could delay their departure long enough that the old Vulcan was discovered there was a chance, albeit a small one, that his abduction would be discovered in time for someone to attempt to prevent it.

By the time they'd reached the hangar bay, Khan's optimism had begun to fade. He no longer cared what damage he might be doing to himself in the process. The pain he was causing himself was substantial but he had not cared. He had even begun contemplating ways that he might force his captors to kill him. Khan refused to allow himself to be taken alive again.

Khan almost hadn't registered the change in the atmosphere until the leader of the operatives spoke.

"James T. Kirk, I presume..."

Of course. Who else could it be? Some higher power in the universe seemed to be having a marvelous joke at his expense. Especially when the foolish captain did not even appear armed, and was now in danger of being shot himself.

Incompetent.

He could either allow the young man to die, which would only ensure his capture, or he could use the distraction Kirk provided to his advantage. The choice was an easy one. The execution a little more difficult. The man holding the phaser pointed at the younger man was just out of Khan's reach. He already knew there was little chance he could break the hold the two men had on him. So Khan did the only thing he could. With a sick twisting motion he was able to wrench both of his shoulders out of place, giving him just enough reach to kick at the arm of the man aiming at Kirk. The pain, of course, was incredible, but all that mattered was it had worked, diverting the phaser fire enough to save the young man's life.

His captors were less than pleased. The unforgiving pull on his bound arms had him gritting his teeth to keep from crying out as he was dragged along and his new injuries made it virtually impossible to put up any kind of struggle any longer. The sound of more phaser fire seemed distant and unimportant in the grand scheme of things, since he was still going to be taken, and he would die before he allowed himself to be used again. His crew would understand. They would not wish for him to suffer any more than he would want them to. He could only hope that Kirk was as honorable as he pretended to be and would keep his promise to search for them.

He was surprised, to say the least, when he found himself suddenly released, though he almost didn't realize it until he'd already hit the ground. He managed to twist around to see Kirk grappling with one of the men who'd been holding him. The other was on the ground near Khan, either unconscious or dead, and at the moment the augment didn't really care. If he was to have this one chance, he would be damned if he would waste it.

Ignoring the pain, Khan shifted enough to reach the fallen operative, searching quickly for the key to his shackles. It was not easy. His fingers did not wish to function since it felt like fire was lancing through his shoulders and down his arms with every movement he made. His efforts finally proved fruitful but almost too late. The moment his arms were free Khan looked up to see the remaining operative standing over Kirk with a phaser pointed at the young man's head.

Khan had reacted without thinking.

As the man fell down dead, Kirk looked at him with just as much surprise as Khan himself felt at his actions. He could have let Kirk die then shot the man who'd tried to abduct him before he realized Khan was no longer defenseless. Khan could then have tried to make it to the shuttle and taken off. He could have been free again... He still could be.

If he killed Kirk now.

Trusting fool. The man did not even hesitate as he rushed over to Khan, completely ignorant of the danger he was still in. Though it wasn't until Kirk had grabbed him and dragged him to safety that Khan began to wonder which one of them was really the fool. Because he could tell himself anything he wanted, but if he'd had any intention of actually shooting Kirk, the young man would have been dead already.

Apparently Khan still had some honor left whether he wanted to admit it or not. Kirk had saved his life, and Khan was a man that repaid his debts. Which was why Khan had decided to tell the young captain about Section 31. Unfortunately, in the grand scheme of things, it mattered little. Kirk could do nothing with the information. Though perhaps it would convince the man to finally give up his foolish crusade.

"That's bullshit. You don't really believe that," Kirk finally stated, almost angrily, following the long silence after Khan's revelation.

Khan frowned, not sure whether to be amused or insulted by the younger man's outburst.

"You presume to tell me what I believe?" Khan replied, a hint of warning in his tone, even though they both knew there was very little he could do to stop Kirk from speaking his mind. At least at the moment. Still the younger man hesitated, deciding perhaps to choose his next words very carefully.

Finally the young man gave a frustrated sigh.

"Khan, you went up against Admiral Marcus, Section 31, hell, all of Starfleet single-handedly and nearly kicked all our asses! You can't actually believe there's no hope of fighting them...this...thing." Kirk's protest, though fumbling, actually hit right at the heart of the problem. How did one fight an enemy one could not even define?

Not to mention that the younger man was operating under a false assumption.

"You assume that I planned on surviving my quest for vengeance against Marcus and Starfleet," Khan admitted softly and Kirk's expression of shock came as no surprise. Khan was curious whether the younger man was more surprised that Khan's one-man-war had essentially been a suicide mission, or the fact that Khan admitted that to him at all. Frankly, it didn't matter, as they were both now in a similar predicament. At this point neither of them had much to lose. They would either succeed in this mad quest, or they would die. There was no middle ground anymore.

Well, there was a third option, Khan supposed. Kirk could simply give up his quest. Leave Starfleet to its well-deserved fate and begin a new life somewhere far away. It would almost be the wisest, even if it was also the most cowardly, decision.

Kirk looked away from him and the silence between them was heavy, lasting a long while. Finally the younger man gave a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before he squared his shoulders and turned back to Khan.

"All right. I'm going to see about questioning the prisoner in the morning. Then I'll check with my crew and see if they've made any progress gathering any information. I'll let you know what we find. Either way, we probably won't be able to stay here much longer," Kirk stated firmly. The decision was made. There was a fine line between bravery and stupidity. Only time would tell which of those the young captain's choice fell under.

As the younger man turned to leave, Khan made his decision as well.

"Captain."

Kirk turned back to him.

"The London Archive was not the only location Section 31 used as a base of operations. I know of others."

* * *

For the next hour Khan talked and Jim listened. Sometimes the younger man asked the augment questions, or for clarifications, but for the most part he just listened. He was almost too stunned, sometimes horrified, to do anything else. Khan's words had pulled away a shiny veneer to expose the tarnish beneath the polished exterior Starfleet portrayed. At the same time, Jim knew it was not the entire truth. How could it be? Khan had only ever seen the most negative side of Starfleet. While Jim had only ever seen the positive. It was like looking at two different sides of the same coin. Each true, and still not the whole truth. It was a very eye-opening experience and it wasn't long before Jim began to see a fuller picture of what they were dealing with.

Admiral Marcus understandably saw the Klingons as a huge threat to the Federation. In response he, and a few other prominent officials, had decided a preemptive response was justified, especially given the recent Romulan threat the Earth had faced and the destruction of Vulcan. Section 31, used to dealing with such threats to the Federation, supported his plans and ensured Marcus would have all of the resources and manpower necessary to begin militarizing Starfleet. The building of warships and weapons for the upcoming war began.

Then Khan and his crew were discovered, a virtual gold mine of untapped resources - stronger, faster, more intelligent. With the ability to heal from nearly any wound or illness. And of course, savage. Just as savage as the enemy Marcus had hoped to defeat; the perfect building blocks for the admiral to construct his new army.

Khan's part became clear.

As John Harrison, Khan had been assigned to work out of the London archive which masked one of Section 31's many bases of operations. He was a prisoner and spent much of his time confined to the base, but he had still managed to gain a great deal of knowledge about Section 31 and Marcus' plans during his year of servitude. Until he'd tried to smuggle his crew to safety, was discovered, and forced to flee when Marcus attempted to have the augment assassinated.

Jim knew well what happened after that.

But now Marcus' co-conspirators were in a quandary. Marcus' treachery, while not exactly public knowledge, had still come to light within certain circles at Starfleet. Many now knew about his plans to start a war with the Klingons. There was no way those plans could continue now without arousing suspicions. A more subtle approach would be needed.

The experiments done on Khan now made more sense to Jim. An outbreak of an incurable disease on a planet wide scale, while tragic, could not exactly be blamed on anyone. But those releasing the disease would want some kind of insurance. After all, diseases rarely behaved in the way one expected them to, and if just one person infected with the disease escaped a quarantined zone, the disease could spread through countless systems.

A sickening, heartless, but effective way to deal with the 'enemy'.

Almost as soon as Khan was back in Starfleet custody the experiments had begun. The scientists involved in the plot began working on a new virus, a super virus more deadly than any other seen before, using a combination of DNA from many other viruses. They had infected Khan with each virus in turn in order to harvest the antibodies his immune system produced, with the intention of creating a basis for a vaccine for their new virus.

If the new virus could kill the augment, it could surely kill nearly any other being in the galaxy. The perfect weapon for a silent war. To be used against the Klingons, or anyone else deemed a threat to the federation.

Learning all of this, there was no way Jim could sit by and do nothing. They had to find a way to stop it. The easiest way would be to publicly expose those in Starfleet who were involved. For that they would need proof. Something a lot more substantial than the word of a three hundred-year-old war criminal and a Starfleet captain wanted for treason. If they could infiltrate one or more of the facilities where Section 31 operated they could potentially gain that proof. It would be extremely dangerous but it was the best chance they had right now.

Khan had been quiet for a while now and Jim glanced over at him from where he was sitting in a chair next to Khan's biobed. The elder man wasn't looking at Jim, in fact, he didn't seem to be looking at much of anything. His gaze was distant and the man appeared so far beyond exhausted Jim was frankly surprised Khan was still even awake. Jim was exhausted as well; Bones would probably kill him when he found out that he'd left his room and hadn't slept a wink all night. But the younger man didn't think he could sleep now if he tried. That didn't mean he should be keeping Khan awake however.

"Sorry. I should let you get some sleep. We can talk more later," Jim said and started to rise from his chair. Khan had given him a place to start at least.

Khan's soft snort made the younger man still.

"If I were going to sleep, I would have done so long before now, Kirk," Khan replied wearily, and Jim frowned.

"Why don't you then? You're exhausted. You need to rest if you're going to recover." Christ, Jim was starting to sound like Bones now. From the look the augment gave him Khan was thinking much the same thing and didn't appreciate Jim's advice.

"Why can't you sleep?" Jim asked instead, earning him another glare but this one seemed more strained and suddenly Jim realized he'd seen that look before. From the holo-recording of Khan's hearing when the other man had been trying to conceal how much pain he'd been in. Suddenly Jim felt guilty for not realizing it before. But then again he wasn't a fucking mind-reader. If Khan was in pain he could have said something instead of just suffering in silence.

"Do you want me to contact a healer? Or Bones? He could give you something..."

Khan shook his head, looking more weary now than irritated.

"The effects of any medication would be fleeting at best, my system would filter out the drugs too quickly for them to be effective. Not worth the effort. If you have no further questions right now you may leave," Khan said and Jim kind of understood what Bones meant about being pissed when being ordered around. Jim was tempted to just get up and leave; Khan was unpleasant to deal with at the best of times. But the guy had saved Jim's life earlier. Twice actually. If nothing else, the guy deserved a bit of kindness from Jim.

Remembering exactly how Khan had saved his life, Jim could probably guess where Khan was hurting the worst right now. Jim stepped closer to the bed, earning him an almost wary look, before the elder man's expression turned outright hostile when Jim reached out to him.

"What are you doing?" Khan hissed, glaring and the younger man held up his hands to appear non-threatening.

"I was just going to check..." Jim explained, gesturing towards the other man's shoulder. That earned him another scowl, unsurprisingly. But Khan didn't protest or flinch away when Jim's hands moved towards him again. He carefully pulled aside the light robe Khan wore and winced seeing the horrible purple and black bruising littering the man's shoulder and upper arm. No wonder Khan couldn't sleep. Fuck.

Jim considered their options for a moment before he moved over to a small cabinet from which he'd seen the Vulcan healers get supplies. Everything was well-organized so it didn't take Jim long to find what he was looking for. He soon returned to Khan's bedside with two cold packs, already beginning to glow a faint blue as Jim activated them. Khan carefully watched Jim's every move but again did not protest as Jim positioned the cold packs over the other man's shoulders. Hopefully they would help at least a little with the pain and swelling.

Jim sat once more in his chair and neither man spoke. Khan did not even bother to thank him. The bastard. But then again Jim hadn't done it because he expected gratitude. At least after a time, Khan's expression began to relax so Jim assumed the cold packs were doing their job.

"Thank you, by the way," Jim said and Khan's eyes flickered in surprise.

"For what?" The elder man asked.

"For saving my life," Jim answered with a small shrug. That earned him a condescending snort if Jim had ever heard one.

"I did not do it for your benefit," Khan said and rather than being offended Jim chuckled softly.

"Figured as much. Still..."

Neither man spoke again but after a time, Khan's eyes slipped closed. The augment was fast asleep when the healer came to check on him and Jim slipped quietly out of the room.


	24. Chapter 24

"Are you certain you wish to do this now, Captain?" Spock asked for the fourth time in the last thirty-two point five minutes. It wasn't often that the Vulcan felt the need to repeat himself so. Though with James T. Kirk it seemed necessary twenty-seven percent more often than with any other being Spock spoke with. Especially when he believed his young captain was being particularly foolish or reckless.

Such as in this situation.

"Yes, Spock. I'm sure," Jim answered the exact same way since the young man had he first informed Spock of his intentions. The half-Vulcan could hear the growing tension in the young human's tone, however Spock was unable to discern whether it was from Spock's repeated inquiries or the fact that they were currently on their way to interrogate the man who had been captured the night before. The man who, along with his deceased accomplices, had nearly taken Khan from their custody so easily. Somehow they had bypassed all of the security measures New Vulcan had in place, landed on the planet without detection and infiltrated the medical facility. In the process of their failed kidnapping attempt, they had also nearly killed his elder self, and Jim as well when the young man had confronted the operatives.

Given the circumstances, Spock could certainly understand Jim's unease, as much as he could understand the young man's need for answers. Spock was eager for some too. As was the Vulcan High Council. However thus far, the captured human had not been forthcoming with any information despite intense questioning already attempted.

"May I ask how you intend to persuade the prisoner to speak when thus far all attempts to interrogate him have been unsuccessful?" Spock asked curiously, watching his friend's profile closely. His captain smiled, but it was not a friendly or humorous expression in the least.

"I don't know, breaking his fingers might be a good start," Jim answered flippantly, though despite the humorous tone that Spock recognized well, there was an edge to the words which told the Vulcan that the young human was at least partly serious.

"I must say I am confused why you would consider employing violence as a means to question this man, and yet, you refused to allow a harmless mind meld on Khan in order to obtain information," Spock observed, and Jim stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at him.

"Spock, we aren't having this conversation again..." Jim began but Spock thought it was important to interrupt before a true argument could begin.

"As I stated last night, I can understand your reasons for feeling sympathy towards Mr. Singh's predicament given your own history, and I am concerned that recent events might lead you to make decisions based more on emotion than logic, Captain. As your first officer, it is my duty to inform you of this, and warn you against taking rash actions." Spock explained calmly.

Jim's expression hardened slightly, and Spock wished he did not feel guilt over his words, but he did. No matter how true they were, Spock did not wish to remind the captain of how Jim had taken the command of the _Enterprise_ from him for similar reasons. Given their current status with Starfleet, it would not really be possible, or help their cause in the least, for him to try and take command of the situation. They had too few allies to allow such a rift between them. Besides, he did not truly think Jim was too emotionally compromised to lead them. He was, however, concerned for his friend for other reasons, hence his attempts to change Jim's mind regarding his intention to interrogate the prisoner at this point in time.

"Dr. McCoy also had some very strong opinions regarding this course of action," Spock commented, earning him a sigh and eye roll from his captain.

"I just bet he did," Jim muttered, sounding resigned. Most likely Jim had already heard the good doctor's opinions, very loudly. But Spock thought Dr. McCoy's opinions were valid enough to bear repeating.

"The doctor claims you have not properly rested for over thirty-six hours."

"I'm fine Spock," The young human interrupted, but Spock continued anyway.

"It is Dr. McCoy's medical opinion that you are not yet fully recovered from the physical ordeals of the last several weeks."

"Spock..."

"And that if you do not take the time to properly rest and recover, you risk doing even more damage to yourself in the near future."

"Spock!"

Spock stopped speaking after the near shout. "Yes, captain?"

"I'm doing this, Spock. I'm doing it now. I've waited long enough. We don't have time to sit on our asses and wait to see what happens. Now, if you don't want to go in there..."

"I did not say that, Jim," Spock said calmly, and though Spock didn't fully understand why, the use of the young human's given name seemed to reach his friend when other attempts failed. Perhaps reminding the young man of Spock's concern stemmed from his caring as a friend, and not the belief Jim was incapable of carrying out his duties as captain. Jim sighed, his expression shifting to one of apology.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to blow up at you. I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. Really," Jim said earnestly and Spock merely nodded, even though he knew it was not true. Jim was not fine. Far from it. But there was little he could do to convince the young man of that, especially if Dr. McCoy's best efforts had already failed, and any further objections would only anger Jim. All he could do now was make sure that the captain came to no harm, either through his own actions or that of others. Which was why Spock was accompanying him now, and would have, regardless of the young man's wishes.

Spock had not been present when the man had been apprehended. Instead he had been awoken by his comm and requested with great urgency to report to the medical facility. He had not known why until he arrived and learned of the fate of his elder self. By then it was too late to go to Jim's aid. His blood had been desperately needed to attempt to stabilize the older Vulcan as so much of it had been lost due to the savage wound. Being only half-Vulcan, there was no guarantee full Vulcan or Human blood would help the man. He had allowed the healers to take what they needed, hearing snippets of information from others about what had happened in the hangar bay until some hours later when the old Vulcan had finally stabilized. Spock had finally heard the whole story, or at least most of it, from Dr. McCoy. He had learned the rest from Jim when the young man had finally come to find him in the early morning and told him about the discussion he'd had with Khan.

It was very disturbing news, if it was true. One thing was for certain, the man they held captive was dangerous, and even more so if Khan's analysis of the man's identity was true. There was no way Spock was allowing his captain and friend to speak to this man alone.

"All right then. Let's get this over with," Jim said, straightening his posture and holding his head high. Despite the dark circles under his eyes betraying his lack of rest, he appeared every inch a Starfleet captain as he strode down the hall towards the room where the prisoner was being kept. Spock followed beside the young man.

The Vulcan security officer standing guard outside the room gave them both a nod of greeting before he typed the security code into the door panel, then stepped aside to allow them to enter. The room was utterly plain, only one door and no windows. A bare metal table was in the center as were two chairs. The prisoner sat in one of the chairs, hands bound to the table in front of him, and looked up when they entered.

The man's helmet that had hidden his identity previously had been removed long ago and Spock was surprised to find he recognized the man. He had been one of the Starfleet security officers in the holo-recording Jim had managed to discover of Khan's hearing. He and Jim shared a look, confirming that his captain had recognized the man as well.

Jim sat down in the empty chair across from the prisoner. Spock stood beside his captain's shoulder. For a long while the two humans simply stared at one another without saying a word.

Surprisingly it was the prisoner who finally broke the silence.

"Captain Kirk. Just the man I was hoping to see," The man said mockingly. Spock glanced briefly at his captain but Jim's expression rained as impassive as stone.

"Well, I'm here. So let's talk. Tell me what you know about Section 31," Jim ordered, and the other man raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, told you about that, did he? Won't do you any good, of course, but I admit I'm curious what he thinks he knows." The other man gave a dark chuckle, then shrugged.

"You went through a lot of trouble to get him. He must be pretty important to someone. I'm guessing a lot more important to whoever sent you here than you are. They can't be happy that you failed," Jim observed.

The fake smile on the prisoner's face faded abruptly.

"You have no idea what you are up against, Kirk."

"I don't think you realize the situation you're in. You illegally infiltrated a Federation planet. You attempted to murder a high ranking Vulcan ambassador..."

"I attempted to recapture a dangerous criminal on the run from the Federation. Anyone found with him is guilty of harboring a fugitive and, given the circumstances, the use of deadly force was authorized. It's not my neck on the line here, Captain," The prisoner said smugly. "But you already knew that."

Jim's expression darkened.

"The way I understand it, Section 31 does not operate under the normal chain of command in Starfleet. That means there's probably no record of you being here at all." Spock raised an eyebrow at the tone of his captain's voice. It was one he was certain he had never heard before: low and very dangerous. "So no one will notice if you go missing."

The bound human seemed surprisingly unfazed by the not-so-veiled threat.

"Me? I'm already dead, Captain Kirk. I was the moment my wife and son died. Because of him. And you sided with him. You're a traitor to your whole race. He deserved everything he got. Though really, you should be thanking me. I bet your pet augment is a lot more 'mellow' than he used to be. He wasn't nearly so proud once we got him on his knees."

It wasn't an admission of guilt, but the implication of the crime committed was strong enough that even Spock felt a little ill. The silence that followed in the small room was deafening. Honestly, Spock was not surprised by his captain's reaction when Jim finally did act. In one swift movement Jim was on his feet and punched the prisoner so hard the man reeled back, and probably would have fallen to the ground had not his hands been bound to the table in front of him. Spock only stepped in when it seemed like Jim was not going to stop there, grasping the young man's arm gently but firmly.

"Captain." It was all Spock said and all he needed to say. Jim didn't relax, and still looked like he wished to beat the other man unconscious. But he did not try to fight Spock's hold.

"You aren't going to get away with this. I'm going to make sure you, all of you, are brought up on charges for crimes against humanity. You can all rot in prison together."

The prisoner laughed, spitting out a mouthful of blood.

"Humanity? That freak isn't human. None of them are. It doesn't matter anymore, like I said, I'm already dead. And so are you."

It was then that Spock noticed the man was holding one of his bound hands strangely, too late to recognize the danger. Even once Spock realized the man must be activating some kind of transmitter embedded underneath his skin, all he could do was grab Jim, throw the young human to the ground and shield Jim with his own body before the explosion.


	25. Chapter 25

His ears were ringing. He couldn't hear anything else except the loud pounding of his own heartbeat. He smelled smoke, thick and choking. He coughed but it didn't clear his lungs. It felt like there was a heavy weight pressing down on his chest.

Underneath the charred black smell was an even fouler scent. Burnt flesh, human flesh. He'd smelled it before. Years ago, but he could still remember as though it were yesterday. He remembered the smell of the dead rotting in the streets. He remembered watching from his hiding place in the sewers as they were collected, thrown into the transports one on top of another, like they were nothing more than trash. He remembered choking on the air as they began to burn the bodies. The air had been thick with the smell of burnt flesh and smoke, ash fluttering from the sky like snow, covering everything. The smell had stuck in the back of his throat, thick and cloying, even days after the rescue ships arrived to evacuate the survivors of Tarsus IV. Sometimes he still smelled it when he woke from nightmares in the middle of the night.

He coughed again. He tasted blood in his mouth. He thought he heard another sound. Muffled. Far away. Maybe he was just imagining it.

"Jim! Spock!"

"Captain! Can ye hear us?"

Jim opened his mouth. Tried to answer, but no sound emerged from his bloody lips except another rough cough.

"Keptin? They are here! Here!"

Jim heard rough scraping sounds. Stone rubbing against stone. The screech of metal. There was a sharp blinding pain and darkness swallowed him once more.

* * *

Something had happened.

Khan opened his eyes and activated his bed controls that would ease him up into a more seated position. He could feel a tension in the air that had not been there before. Unease. Fear. He could practically taste it. It was not as palpable as it would have been had he been surrounded by humans rather than Vulcans who were much more adapt at denying their emotions. But it was still there. There was an increased amount of activity outside of his room. He could hear it even if he couldn't see it. But he was not able to discern the cause. Khan activated the control that alerted the healers that he needed assistance. It took longer than usual for a healer to arrive. That did not bode well.

"What has happened?" Khan asked, and as usual the Vulcan displayed no real surprise by the question. Or any other feeling for that matter, while a human might have expressed irritation or frustration at being summoned simply to answer a question.

"There has been an explosion," The healer answered evenly. Khan frowned.

"How."

"I do not possess those details."

Not surprising. But Khan could probably guess anyway. Kirk had made his intentions to question the Section 31 operative clear despite Khan's opinion that the captain would be wasting his time. Khan knew these men after all, knew what they were capable of. The man would not divulge any information even under intense torture, which Khan was certain the young captain would not have employed anyway. Now there was an explosion...

_"Two for the price of one. James T. Kirk, I presume? Unfortunately for you, we don't need to take you alive."_

Khan had not been the only target.

"Who was injured?" Khan asked, it was only logical that there would be injured in the explosion if there was an increased activity within the medical facility.

"There were three caught in the immediate blast. Two injured and one fatality." The healer informed him. A knot of unease began to form in Khan's stomach.

"Were any of them human?" he asked.

"Yes."

Khan's hands clenched into fists.

"I wish to speak to Dr. McCoy."

The healer nodded and departed. After twenty minutes had passed with still no sign of the human doctor, Khan swore and threw aside the sheets covering him.

Stupid, naive boy. If he'd gone and gotten himself killed... Unfortunately Khan still needed Kirk for the time being. If he wanted any hope of success finding and rescuing his family, it was in his best interest that Captain Kirk lived.

Khan quickly and efficiently unfastened the various sensors monitoring him and pulled the IV needles from his skin. The augment took a deep breath, closing his eyes to center himself, then carefully pushed himself up and stood. His knees wanted to buckle almost instantly but he forced himself to remain upright. His muscles immediately began to cramp from the effort but he ignored the discomfort. He had endured far worse before.

He was grateful that Vulcans tended to prefer warmer temperatures than most humans, considering most of his fat stores and even some muscle had been burned away during his illness. He still felt chilled however and knew he would need a change of proper clothes if he were going to go anywhere. Considering how weak his immune system was right now, he could not afford the possibility of becoming ill again, even from a simple cold virus, although the very notion would be laughable under normal circumstances.

He carefully stepped away from his bed and made his way over to the door. It was not locked and the two Vulcan security officers posted outside his room looked perplexed at how to handle the situation when they saw him. Most likely they'd been told not to let unauthorized personnel in but hadn't been instructed whether or not to let him out. An oversight Khan prepared to make good use of.

"I require a change of clothing," Khan stated matter-of-factly, as though he had every right to make such a request. "It is the utmost importance I speak with Dr. McCoy immediately."

If Kirk had indeed been injured the doctor would not be far.

It was not long before Khan was dressed in a loose-fitting light wrap of Vulcan design and being escorted by the two Vulcan security officers down the corridor. They did not need to go far, a blessing because Khan wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep himself going on sheer willpower alone. Dr. McCoy was indeed present, as well as a few other members of the _Enterprise_ crew that Khan recognized. That was proof enough that Kirk had indeed been involved in the explosion. Now the only question was...

"Is Kirk still alive?"

The humans gathered turned to him with varying degrees of shock, anger, and grief written over their features. That did not bode well at all.

"What the hell are you doing here?" McCoy spoke first - more like shouted - and the quick look of uncertainty that passed between his two 'escorts' would have been amusing under different circumstances. The Vulcans probably didn't know if they should be defending him from possible attack, or treating him as though he were the threat even though it was obvious he could barely stand on his own.

"Is Kirk alive?" Khan repeated, allowing more than a little impatience to slip into his tone. The doctor looked conflicted for a moment before he finally muttered several quite original curses under his breath.

"Yes, he's still alive, for now. There was an explosion. God damn suicide bomb implanted inside the man's body. Biological makeup of some kind, that's why it didn't show up on the scanners as far as we can tell. The table in the room acted sort of like a blast shield, otherwise there'd be about as much left of them as there was of the prisoner." McCoy winced and Khan could definitely imagine what little might be left of the operative. Namely a few teeth and stains on the wall. "Spock took the worst of it..."

The doctor trailed off and his eyes drifted over to the dark-skinned woman that Khan certainly recognized from before. Her eyes were red from crying, but right now they were dry. They were locked on him with an expression of hate that was not attractive on her otherwise beautiful face.

"You knew this would happen, didn't you?" she said, her voice cold enough to metaphorically freeze the air around them. Khan's expression did not change.

"Did I know it would happen? No. Am I surprised? No. I've come to expect this level of incompetence," Khan stated without emotion and for a moment it seemed like the woman was going to attack him. She took a step towards him with her hand raised as though to slap him, but was held back by two of her comrades. Khan raised an eyebrow but otherwise did not comment on the emotional display. He turned his attention back to the doctor, who looked like he would like to hit Khan as well, but otherwise remained far more composed.

"I assume you will be wanting my aid then," Khan said, and at the doctor's perplexed look, the augment rolled his eyes a little before he began to roll up his sleeve of his borrowed robe and offered his arm. McCoy's eyes went wide.

"Are you insane! You can barely stand! The amount of blood Jim would need..." The doctor's voice trailed off, his morals as a doctor and the possibility of risking the life of his patient, even someone like Khan, warring with the desire to help his friend.

The woman was far less conflicted.

"Spock?" She asked hopefully. Khan frowned. It would be dangerous giving his blood to just the captain. Not to mention Khan had far less desire to risk his life for the half-Vulcan he hated. At least the human captain was potentially useful... But if he was forced to admit it, so was the Vulcan. Khan sighed.

"He is half human. It is possible his body will accept my blood. It is just as possible his body will try to reject it, and if it does, my blood will kill him instead. Then again, I assume the chance of him dying without it is just as great," Khan stated flatly, obviously not caring either way. The choice was theirs.

The doctor gave him an unreadable look, glanced to the woman who looked uncertain but hopeful at the same time. McCoy finally gave a resigned sigh and nod.

"All right. Come on then," he said, ushering Khan forward and waving off the Vulcan security officers when they made to follow. The doctor most likely assumed that Khan would not try to escape or kill them all since he'd just offered to save Kirk and Spock's life. Foolish. But Khan wasn't about to point that out at this point in time. Certainly not if it gained him a bit more freedom, perhaps even trust, with these humans. Trust he could use to his advantage at a later time.

Khan followed Dr. McCoy through the sterilization process before entering the surgical area where the Vulcan healers were still attempting to stabilize Kirk and Spock. Khan frowned a little getting a good view of the damage the bomb had done. The half-Vulcan would definitely have little chance of survival without Khan's blood, and while Kirk may survive, the young human risked permanent injury and potential disfigurement. Khan turned to the human doctor.

"I will talk you through the process..."

"I've done this before, damn it," the doctor interrupted with irritation.

"Yes, poorly if Kirk's rate of recovery is any indication," Khan snapped with just as much irritation, hating to be interrupted. "For starters, mixing my blood with some of theirs before it is injected will lessen the chance of negative side-effects. Especially where the Vulcan is concerned."

After that the doctor remained silent while Khan gave his instructions except to ask for certain clarifications. He allowed McCoy to take the blood he needed from him, lying when the doctor asked him about feelings of dizziness or nausea. They would pass. Potentially Kirk would not need as much blood as Spock to recover. If there was any residual trace of his blood from before in the young human's system, the new blood would bolster and enhance the already-present healing properties. The captain would live, Khan was sure of it. The Vulcan on the other hand...

Admittedly, Khan was curious what would happen. The augments had never tried to use their blood to heal non-humans before, considering in Khan's time there had still been no contact with extra-terrestrial beings. While he remembered McCoy injecting the small sample of blood into the strange little animal aboard the Enterprise - which he assumed was successful as they'd known to use his blood to revive Kirk later - there was still no guarantee it would work with a being as complex as another humanoid. So Khan watched with undisguised interest as the greenish-red blood was injected into the half-Vulcan.

The reaction was almost immediate.

Medical alarms began to sound from the biofunction monitors as Spock's already erratic heartbeat began to fluctuate wildly and his breathing became uneven. A moment later, the half-Vulcan's body began to seize. Dr. McCoy cursed fluently and went to remove the IV from the half-Vulcan but Khan stopped him with a firm grip on his arm.

"Don't," Khan said calmly, his eyes still intently watching as the healers tried to control the Vulcan's thrashing body.

"You heartless bastard! It's killing him!" McCoy shouted, moving once more to pull out the IV and this time Khan didn't stop him. At least not physically.

"If you want him to die now, please, by all means, ignore what I say," Khan said calmly. The doctor wisely froze, his hand inches from the IV. Khan continued. "Nothing can stop it now. All you can do is wait."

And so they waited. As the monitors continued to scream. As the half-Vulcan continued to seize with increasing violence. Until Spock's heart finally gave out and his body stilled with one final sickening lurch.

"No... God damn it..." Khan heard the doctor mutter. Everyone in the room seemed frozen, unsure what to do next. Khan continued to watch.

Several long silent minutes passed and then the biofunction monitor began to beep, hesitantly at first, and then more steadily. Signaling the return of a heartbeat. Khan ignored the look the doctor gave him, standing up and turning his back on the man when it seemed McCoy was going to speak, and Khan left the room without a backwards glance.


	26. Chapter 26

Jim groaned softly as he slowly became aware once more with a sense of deja'vu.

He was really getting tired of waking up in bio-beds.

"Oh yeah? Well then stop pulling stupid stunts that put you in one," came a familiar and grouchy voice from nearby.

Oh... did he say that aloud?

"Yes, you did."

Crap.

Jim slowly blinked his eyes open and turned his head towards his doctor and friend. It was all very reminiscent of when he'd first woken in Starfleet Medical after...he had died in the warp core. Only he wasn't in Starfleet Medical now. He was somewhere in the medical facility on New Vulcan. He easily recognized the room since Jim had spent enough time here after he'd been infected with the Telurian plague trying to save Khan's life after the man had taken him hostage and nearly killed them both.

Talk about an eventful few weeks...

"Not funny, Jim."

Oh, was he still talking aloud? Guess so given the way Bones was glaring at him in displeasure. The young man almost snorted, not sure if he was more amused by his friend or his own dark sense of humor. They must have given him some pretty good drugs. That would explain why he was finding anything about the last few weeks funny. It would also explain his diarrhea of the mouth. At the sound of his friend's long-suffering sigh Jim decided that maybe it was time he concentrated a little more on what his mouth was doing.

"What happened?" Jim croaked out and winced a little at the sound of his own voice. His throat felt dry as sand and scratched like he'd swallowed a porcupine or something. He must still be letting a few random thoughts slip by his mouth without being filtered by his brain first because without a word Bones disappeared from his line of sight only to return a moment later with a cup of water that he helped Jim sip from. Jim sighed softly at the instant relief to his abused throat.

"You're welcome. I'm not surprised you don't remember what happened, given your injuries. You're damned lucky, Jim," Bones stated, the expression on his friend's face telling Jim that the doctor really would like to chew him out, but the older man had taken pity on him instead. Or he had realized that yelling at Jim about his recklessness when the younger man couldn't even remember what had happened was counter-productive. So the doctor launched into an explanation instead.

"You went to question the prisoner and the bastard set off a bomb."

Jim's eyes widened in shock. "A bomb? How..."

"I'm not quite sure. All I know is that it was made out of biological components and implanted inside his body so it couldn't be detected. It didn't leave much to examine. Though I've got a feeling our three hundred-year-old psychopath could probably tell us more about it. He admitted later on he'd been working on prototype designs for the bomb under Marcus' orders," Bones said with another deep scowl. "The only reason you survived was because of Spock..."

As though mentioning his first officer's name activated some switch in his brain, Jim suddenly did remember. He remembered the all-too-pleased smirk on the prisoner's face before Spock grabbed him and threw him down. Heat. Pain. Unable to move or breathe. The smell of blood and burnt flesh...

"Spock!" Jim tried to sit up, ignoring the flash of pain that spread through his body with his abrupt movement. But Bones was there to stop him and push him back to the bio-bed all too easily.

"Jesus Christ, Jim, calm down. Spock is fine. Or at least he will be fine. Guess you've got the psychopath to thank for that too," Bones said the last almost reluctantly. Jim blinked up at the doctor not quite understanding at first.

"Khan?" Jim finally asked, at the doctor's nod the pieces finally started to click into place. "You used his blood again..."

"Believe it or not, he offered," Bones said, releasing Jim's shoulders and straightening. The older man sounded as though he couldn't quite believe it himself, and Jim couldn't blame him. "You and Spock were both pretty badly off. Spock took the worst of it though. He probably would have died without Khan's blood."

Jim could only continue to stare up at Bones, not quite sure what to say. This would make the sixth time that Khan had saved his life, either directly or indirectly. On Kronos, in the debris field, after he'd died in the warp core, when he was infected with the Telurian plague, when the Section 31 operatives tried to shoot him, and now this. Two of those times probably didn't count since Khan hadn't had much say in the matter. But this time the man hadn't just saved Jim's life, he'd saved Spock's as well.

That was...rather astonishing.

Spock had recently reminded Jim that Khan was the kind of man who did not hold human life in very high regard. Jim had not disputed that, because of course he'd seen just how ruthless Khan could be and how easily he killed anyone who got in his way. Yet time and again, the man had saved his life, even when it would have been in Khan's better interest not to. Why would a man who had little regard for the life of others do that?

The man was a walking contradiction. It made Jim wonder if they really knew anything about Khan at all. Maybe it was past time he found out.

The sound of Bones clearing his throat brought Jim out of his thoughts and he turned his attention back to the older man.

"Well, now that I've filled you in a bit and we've established that you haven't got any brain damage, at least no more than usual, from being nearly blown to pieces, I think it's time you got some more rest," Bones said in his best doctor voice, and Jim immediately frowned and shook his head.

"No, I need to talk to... Too much time wasted..." Jim muttered as he tried to push himself up again with even less success than before and Bones wasn't even holding him down this time. His whole body suddenly felt heavy and lethargic and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his eyelids from falling closed. It was then Jim noticed that Bones had been fiddling with one of the machines hooked up to his IV while Jim hadn't been paying attention. "Sneaky bastard..."

Bones must have introduced, or increased, a sedative he'd been given. The doctor merely shrugged, not disputing Jim's accusation in the least.

"If this is the only way to make sure you stay put while you recover..."

Jim didn't even hear the rest of whatever Bones was going to say. He was already out again like a light.

* * *

As much as Jim hated to admit it, the week of enforced bed rest had done wonders for Jim's recovery. There were still a few small lingering scars on his face and hands from the deeper burns, but they were becoming less and less noticeable each day. Pretty soon there wouldn't be any sign that he had nearly been blown up by a suicide bomber with one hell of a grudge.

And Jim had no doubt that he had been the target in that explosion. The man had that bomb inside of him the entire time that the Vulcans had been questioning him, but hadn't used it until Jim was close. Whoever had sent the man to kidnap Khan also wanted Jim dead. Jim tried to take comfort in the fact that if someone wanted him dead that badly they clearly saw Jim as a threat, or at least a nuisance.

Jim was determined to keep making himself one.

For the first time in a while, Jim felt completely back to normal. Better-than-normal, even, and he knew he had Khan's blood to thank, not only for his speedy recovery but the fact that he felt like he could run through a wall if he wanted to. Bones had told him to enjoy it while it lasted; the effects of Khan's blood would eventually fade, probably a little slower than the last time since Khan had explained to Bones the proper procedures in using his blood's unique quality to heal. But eventually it would be cycled out of Jim's system.

With that, Bones had finally released Jim this morning with a mostly clean bill of health and Jim was now making his way through the medical facility to visit an old friend.

When Jim entered the room he couldn't help but smile. The elder Spock was resting in his bio-bed propped up with pillows and Spock was sitting in a comfortable chair next to the ambassador's bed. They were both intently concentrating on a tri-dimensional chess board that had been set up between them and didn't notice Jim's arrival.

Like him, Spock still had a few lingering scars from the burns he'd received in the explosion but they would probably fade as well within the next few days and like Jim, his first officer would soon be released from the medical facility. Ambassador Spock would probably need several more weeks of recovery considering he'd not received the benefit of Khan's blood to accelerate his healing, but the healers had assured Jim that he was recovering well. Jim couldn't describe the measure of his relief seeing both of his friends alive and well.

Eventually the ambassador moved a piece on the chess board and Jim couldn't help the wide grin on his face when he recognized it as a strategy Jim had used on Spock more than once during their chess games. It was one that frustrated his first officer to no end, given its illogical nature. Even though the half-Vulcan insisted that he felt no such emotions, Jim could still see it in the slight tightening of the younger Vulcan's lips. Like now.

"So, who's winning?" Jim finally decided to announce his presence.

"Jim. It is good to see you," The ambassador said with a faint smile as the elder man looked towards him. The younger Spock turned and looked as though he was going to rise until Jim indicated with a small wave that he shouldn't get up. The younger Vulcan relaxed once more with a slight nod.

"Captain." The younger Vulcan greeted him far more officially, earning a hint of amusement in the elder Spock's expression before it was schooled away once more. Boy, it was still strange seeing the two of them together like this, but also very interesting.

The younger Spock went back to staring intently at the chess board before finally replying to Jim's inquiry. "I believe my elder counterpart has a slight advantage at this time." Spock didn't sound too pleased to be admitting that.

"I have learned a few tricks over the years from an old friend," The elder Spock admitted, giving Jim a knowing look that made the young man grin again in spite of himself. Jim pulled up a chair and sat, just watching the two Vulcans as they played.

There is a lot that Jim would like to say. Like how glad he is that they are both alive; he didn't know what he would do if one of them didn't make it, and other emotional things that would probably only embarrass his first officer. Though when the elder Spock passed him a glance there was just so much understanding in those dark, surprisingly expressive, eyes that Jim felt like he didn't need to say anything at all. The younger Spock noticed, and turned to Jim as well. There was a softness in that look, and Jim couldn't help but smile, a tightness in his heart he hadn't even realized was there until it began to loosen.

"I hope I am not interrupting." A voice from the doorway broke the moment and Jim stood respectfully.

"Ambassador Sarek."

"Father," the younger Spock, who had also stood at his father's entrance, greeted the older Vulcan properly. The elder Spock did not greet his father verbally but did give the other Vulcan a respectful nod which was returned by Sarek. Boy, if it was weird for Jim to see the two Spocks together, it must have been even more so for Sarek. If it was, Sarek didn't show it outwardly. Not that Jim ever expected him to.

When Sarek turned to him, Jim had a sinking feeling that this wasn't a social call.

"Captain Kirk, it is good to see that you are recovering well."

"Thank you, sir."

"I bring a message from the Vulcan High Council," Sarek began, the pleasantries apparently over. "While we are appreciative of your assistance during the evacuation of Vulcan, given recent events, the Vulcan High Council has come to the decision that we can no longer offer you sanctuary here."

Jim honestly couldn't say he was surprised. Given everything that the Vulcans had been through, they had taken a huge risk in offering Jim and his crew sanctuary in the first place. They had no idea who they could trust within Starfleet, and while Jim didn't think the Federation would ever condone an outright attack against New Vulcan... The corrupt elements within Starfleet had already proven they wouldn't let few rules or ethics stop them from getting what they wanted.

"I understand." Jim answered simply. There really wasn't anything more to say.

Sarek nodded.

"You may, of course, remain until you and your companions are fully recovered. One of your officers has expressed your need to procure a ship. I will see that it is arranged, and provision it as you require, " Sarek offered, and then turned to face his son. "I assume you will be departing with your crewmates."

It was a statement, not a question, but if Jim wasn't mistaken he could still hear a note of plea in Sarek's tone. Spock also didn't seem all that surprised by his father's message. Jim wondered if Sarek had talked to Spock about this before, had asked his son to stay. Spock's father was no fool. The task Jim and his crew had set for themselves could very likely get them all killed. It had almost gotten them killed already.

"I will," Spock replied firmly. A moment passed where father and son merely stared at one another, but Sarek finally nodded.

"I will take my leave then," Sarek said, nodding to each man in turn before leaving the room. Jim let out a long slow breath before turning back the two Vulcans. Both wore grave expressions and Jim wished they could go back to a few minutes ago. If only for a few more moments reprieve before the harsh reality of their situation intruded once more. Jim had a feeling they wouldn't be getting another one for a long time.


	27. Chapter 27

The torpedoes. They were definitely his torpedoes. He would have known otherwise. Seeing them materialize inside the empty cargo bay was almost like a dream. He could barely believe it at first. He had finally succeeded. He had saved them...

He had thought they were dead. He had been certain that Marcus would act on his threat and kill them all after he had escaped. Marcus had killed the others with little hesitation. Marcus had tried to kill him. What reason did he have to believe they would be spared? None...

He had not wanted to live. He had wanted to join his family so badly then. He had not wanted to be the last, he had not wanted to be alone. But they had deserved vengeance if nothing else. Khan had not expected to survive it, but at least his death would serve a purpose. At least he could make Marcus and the others pay in blood a hundred-fold for what they had done.

But they were safe now. Aboard the _Vengeance_.

For a moment, he almost considered letting the captain and his pathetic ship go. But it was too dangerous. Humans. All they had ever done was betray and kill his kind. If he'd let them go they would tell Starfleet everything, about his crew and him, they would be hunted once more. It was too dangerous to let them live.

Oh, that wasn't to say Khan didn't take great pleasure in firing on the defenseless ship once he'd beamed Kirk and the other humans back to the _Enterprise_. Kirk had betrayed him. Had tried to steal his vengeance from him. Kirk was no better than the rest of them. He had wanted to hurt the captain as he had been hurt. To destroy his ship, his crew, and Kirk in one final blow...

And then the torpedoes had exploded. The shock wave of the detonations threw Khan off of his feet as they ripped his ship apart from the inside out. Much as seeing those fiery explosions ripped him apart from the inside out. His crew... His family... He had thought they were safe and now they were dead. All of them.

Khan's howl of denial, deafening in his own ears, and even louder than the explosions that continued to tear the _Vengeance_ apart, changed nothing. Once more he was alone. Left with nothing but his grief, his rage, his desire for death warring with his desire for revenge.

And so he had ordered the _Vengeance_ to crash into Starfleet headquarters. He had expected to die with the ship. To die with his crew. To die with his enemies. Yet he had lived. His injuries had been too severe and he was weakened to the point where the Vulcan who had killed his family could best him. All his rage, all his savagery, as boundless as it was, had not been enough in the end. He had failed. Again he had failed...

When he woke he could almost believe it had all been a dream. That he had never escaped from Marcus and the Starfleet scientists. The cell in which he'd woken was nearly the same as the one he had spent over a year of his life in while he'd worked for Marcus. Biding his time while he waited for the opportunity to escape with his crew.

He could almost believe it.

But even though his wounds had mostly healed by the time he'd regained consciousness, he could still feel the lingering traces where they'd been. The soreness in his ribs that had been broken, how every breath still hurt, signaling that his lung was still in the process of being repaired, the sharp pain behind his eyes telling him that while his skull fracture might be healed, his concussion wasn't quite. The injuries he'd received in the crash...when his crew had died... It had not been a dream no matter how much he might wish it was.

The new pain in his chest was not physical but it was worse than any physical pain he still suffered. He screamed for hours, until his throat was raw and bloody and he simply couldn't scream any longer. It was almost worse after that, he no longer had any kind of outlet and the pain simply wouldn't stop.

It was almost a relief when they finally came.

The door to his cell opened and Khan didn't hesitate. In a second he was on his feet and rushing to attack the man who had entered his cell, prepared to rip the man apart with his bare hands. There had been no thought behind it. Just rage. A wounded animal ready to attack any that approached it whether friend or foe.

He had not even seen the phaser. Nor did he feel the first shot. It was the second one that brought him to his knees and Khan slowly looked down to the two bloody burning holes in his abdomen. The phaser had definitely not been set to stun. But not set high enough to kill him, only wound him. Khan looked back up just in time to notice that the man was not alone. Just in time to be struck hard on the side of his head by something unforgiving and metallic. His head exploded in agony as he fell to the ground.

More blows followed. Many more. He could not see through the blood that rained into his eyes. He could not breathe from the vicious punches and kicks aimed at his chest, back, and stomach. He tasted blood in his mouth. He felt his bones snap. It went on for longer than he imagined it could. Longer than even he believed an augment could endure. They were not invulnerable. They were not immortal. They could be killed, it just was not as easy as killing a normal human.

He thought they meant to kill him. He was wrong.

Eventually the blows stopped. Eventually there was silence. He almost thought they had left. He couldn't believe he was still conscious after it all. He could barely believe he was alive. Though he could not scream anymore, a weak groan left his bloody lips when he was suddenly grabbed and hauled up onto his knees. His arms were wrenched behind him and bound...as though he could have put up a fight in his current condition. A fist in his hair pulled his head back sharply, forcing him to look up at his attackers even though he could barely see anything through the bruising and the blood around his eyes.

"Oh, no. You don't get off that easy. We're not done with you yet."

It was then that he knew. Even before he heard the sound of his clothes tearing. Even before his head was forced back to the floor. He realized what they had planned for him. Pathetic, unimaginative creatures. Khan had never condoned such acts. It was the act of a weak foe trying to exert power and dominance over their enemy. When one had real power they did not need to stoop to such pathetic displays.

"Not so proud now are you, you murdering freak."

If they thought they could break him this way, they would be sadly disappointed.

He had already been broken before they ever entered his cell...

He had thought he couldn't scream any longer.

He was wrong...

* * *

Leonard McCoy liked to believe he was a patient man. One had to be to claim Jim Kirk as a friend, especially for as long as the two of them had been friends, and not want to strangle the young man in his sleep. Or at the very least, give into the desire to give him a good right hook on a regular basis. But the last few days had definitely tested the limits of the doctor's patience.

If he didn't love that stupid stubborn bastard so much...

Leonard shook his head and sighed heavily. At least Jim was doing better now. Mostly recovered from his most recent near-brush with death. He couldn't even be too angry with Jim this time. All the proper precautions had been taken; Vulcans were nothing if not thorough. There was no way to know about the bomb, or any reason to believe that Jim had been a target. The bastards had been after Khan after all.

If it hadn't been for Khan, Jim definitely wouldn't be doing as well as he was now. The young man certainly wouldn't be up and around in a week's time with only a few lingering but fading scars. Spock would probably be dead. It was truly remarkable, the healing properties of Khan's blood. Leonard had barely had to do anything to help the healing process along.

Which was why it was so puzzling that Khan was still so...

The man was improving, there was no question about it. He was no longer dependent on IV's for nutrients, he could stand and move around on his own, and he had begun to regain some of the weight he had lost. But just because the augment was doing better didn't mean he was doing well. He was eating on his own but he was not eating much, even for a normal human, and certainly not enough for a man with a heightened metabolism. He could walk on his own, but not for very far or very long before he ran out of strength. At first Leonard wondered if Khan might be faking his weakness, making himself seem more harmless than he really was in order to gain some sort of advantage. But even if that were the case, Khan couldn't fake some of the other physical symptoms.

Like the scars. The ones that had been all over the man's chest, back, arms, and legs when they had first found the augment weeks ago. The significance of which Leonard still wasn't sure. Jim's and Spock's wounds from the bomb blast had been horrific, if not for Khan's blood even if both of them survived, they would have had large disfiguring scars for the rest of their lives. But their scars were nearly gone now. Khan's had barely faded.

At first Leonard thought it had something to do with the man's illness. Khan had been understandably weak after everything he had been through. But then, so had Jim, and Jim had recovered while Khan barely improved. Then Jim had gotten injured again, nearly died, and recovered, thanks to the augment's blood, but Khan was still weak.

He had to be missing something and that bothered him. He was a good doctor. He didn't miss much and he had given Khan several thorough examinations since he'd come into his care. He knew just how damaged the augment had been before Khan had become his patient, however reluctantly, on both of their parts. But Khan was still his patient, and like it or not, Leonard owed the man for helping him save Jim and Spock's lives. It didn't make any sense to the doctor why Khan wasn't recovering as fast or as well as he expected him to. He needed to know if there was something he was missing, or something else he could do to help.

It was one of the many questions Leonard intended to ask Khan the next time he saw the augment. Whether or not the man would answer him was a completely different story. Khan had certainly not gotten any easier to deal with after his unexpected offer of help. The man might have gotten even more unpleasant, in fact, as though the augment had to prove that nothing had changed and he was just as much of a bastard as he'd always been.

Really, sometimes it was like dealing with an overgrown spoiled child. An overgrown child normally capable of crushing a man's skull with his bare hands. Not the best of combinations. But Leonard felt confident he could handle Khan's temper tantrums.

He handled Jim, after all.

The Vulcans still had security posted outside of Khan's quarters. After the explosion there had been security patrolling nearby all of their quarters, to be honest, but the augment's room was the only one under constant watch. These measures were as much to protect Khan as to protect others from the insane augment. The guards allowed Leonard McCoy inside the room however without issue. The moment the doctor's eyes fell on Khan he knew something was not right.

It was not uncommon for Khan to be asleep when Leonard came to check up on him. Khan was still recovering and sleep was the best thing for him. Leonard wished it was so easy to get Jim to rest when he was hurt or ill. But this time the sleeping man was not resting easily. If the fine sheen of sweat that clung to the man's skin and tremors that racked the augment's tense form weren't enough, the small sounds of distress that he made as his head tossed from side to side was undeniable proof something was wrong. Having never quite seen the augment like this before Leonard was understandably alarmed, and so he could probably be forgiven for what he did next that was, looking back on it, pure stupidity.

The doctor rushed over to the side of the sleeping augment's bed and attempted to wake him.

Stupid.

Khan came awake almost as soon as Leonard touched him, and an instant later the augment caught that hand in a bone bruising grip while Khan's other hand went straight for the doctor's throat. Leonard refused to panic, even though the feral snarl that accompanied the violence and wild look in the augment's eyes was more than a little worrying. Not to mention the bruising grip around his neck pretty much prevented Leonard from calling out for help.

"Are you going to choke your doctor now?" Leonard did manage to gasp out, never breaking eye contact with the other man. He saw the exact moment when awareness returned to the augment's eyes. A moment later Khan released him with an expression of mild disgust.

"That was a foolish thing to do," Khan remarked, finally breaking eye contact with him and he rubbed a hand over his sweaty face wearily.

"No shit," Leonard replied dryly, and took out his tricorder. He had barely begun scanning the other man when Khan batted his hand away with an irritated sound.

"I am fine," he snapped, moving to sit up. Leonard frowned and almost went to push the man back down, but given the reaction he'd gotten when he'd touched Khan before, he thought it better not to push his luck. His throat felt bruised enough. Besides, he probably wouldn't have been able to move the augment anyway. Even as weakened as he was, Khan was still stronger than a normal human.

"Well that's bullshit. Your blood pressure alone is proof of that," Leonard McCoy went on scanning the other man now that Khan was sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from him. "I swear you're as bad as Jim."

The nasty glare that Khan threw over his shoulder at him was almost comical.

Leonard gave the augment a bored look and a raised eyebrow that clearly said 'are you done?' Khan scowled at him and looked away, but he remained sitting long enough for Leonard to finish his scan. Once the doctor was done, however, the augment immediately rose, grabbed a robe and pulled it on while he put more distance between them.

"It was a nightmare. Nothing more," Khan said dismissively as he tied the sash around his waist.

Leonard could probably argue that statement. Given the readings he'd just took and Khan's behavior he would probably call what he'd witnessed a night terror more than a simple nightmare. In fact, given everything that Khan had been put through, he wouldn't be surprised if he were suffering from some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. But it would probably do no good to argue with the man about it. He doubted Khan would even acknowledge the possibility, much less trust him enough to let him offer him any kind of treatment. He would do what he could to heal the man's body, but the responsibility of healing Khan's mind would probably fall on someone else's shoulders.

Whoever it would be, Leonard McCoy didn't envy them.

"That may be so, but that doesn't mean you're fine," Leonard replied, watching the other man as Khan stood tense and unmovable as a statue, still not looking at him. When Khan didn't respond, Leonard decided that the direct approach was probably the easiest. "You're not healing. At least, not nearly as fast as I'd expect. Jim and Spock are nearly completely recovered and you're..."

"Do not concern yourself," Khan stated softly and Leonard frowned.

"I am your doctor."

Khan gave a derisive snort.

"If you just tell me what is wrong, maybe I can do something to help..." Leonard began but Khan cut him off when the augment finally turned around to glare at him.

"I have had more than enough help from doctors," he hissed, venom dripping from every word, but his expression was more resigned and tired than angry. Khan took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and when he spoke again his words were calmer. "Nothing is wrong. My body's ability to regenerate is not infinite. It requires a great deal of energy. It will simply take time to replenish."

Leonard frowned.

"But Jim..."

"The captain's wounds, compared to my own, were insignificant! What was done to me would have killed a normal human being a hundred times over. I need time!" Despite the harshness of Khan's tone, it didn't seem like his frustration was directed at Leonard McCoy. More like it was directed at himself, and the doctor could probably understand the reason for that.

Time was a luxury they simply didn't have.


	28. Chapter 28

The plans for their departure were going smoothly. Which was definitely a blessing, all things considered, since Jim was really tired of one disaster cropping up after another. It was a nice change for something to go smoothly. But then again, when Vulcans were involved things usually didn't go anything but smoothly. Usually. Unlike when James T. Kirk was involved and things usually went to hell in a hand basket faster than he could calculate advanced warp equations in his head. Which was pretty damned fast.

They were scheduled to leave in two days.

Jim just wished they'd been able to come up with a more concrete plan of action before leaving New Vulcan. So far their efforts to gain more information about with whom and what they were dealing with were failing spectacularly. Jim felt a little guilty remembering the last time he had seen Chekov. The young Russian genius had been busy trying to hack into some secure Starfleet files, trying to uncover some sliver of information they could use, looking like he hadn't slept more than a couple of hours a night for weeks.

"I am sorry, Keptin. But I can find nothing..." The young ensign had apologized while trying to stifle a yawn of exhaustion at the same time. Nothing. Nothing on Admiral Marcus or the man's plans. Nothing on Section 31. Nothing on Khan and the experiments done on him, or possible location of the cryotubes containing the man's crew. Just... nothing. It was as if all the information had been scrubbed clean leaving no trace of anything for them to find. It wasn't Chekov's fault, and he'd told the young man so before he'd ordered him to take a break and get some rest.

Honestly, Jim hadn't really expected Chekov to be able to find anything, even with Scotty's help. He had been hopeful, sure, but he always knew it had been a long shot. The people they were up against certainly weren't amateurs and they definitely had a lot more resources than the small command crew of the _Enterprise_ right now. At least now they had a little better idea of who they were dealing with, thanks to Khan's information. Knowing what they knew now, the fact Jim had managed to find that one recording of Khan's 'trial' had probably been a fucking miracle. Maybe his earlier hacking had been discovered after all, and all the records had been erased as a result. Or maybe the recording had been left behind on purpose for him to find.

Really, anything was possible. But the fact that they now couldn't uncover any information definitely wasn't a surprise. Khan had said that they'd never find a report detailing Section 31's activities, that there was never any official approval of their operations, and that there wasn't even a proper chain of command within their ranks. It was looking more and more like if they wanted to uncover any information proving the existence of the conspiracy within Starfleet, they were going to have to break into one of the bases of operations that Khan had mentioned. This was not exactly the best scenario, considering it was almost certainly suicidal, but it might be their only option.

Jim scrubbed his face with his hands and sighed heavily.

At least Uhura and Scotty had had some luck. They had managed to decipher an encrypted ship-to-ship Starfleet transmission in the quadrant they'd managed to intercept, and they'd been able to gain a little more insight into their current situation. Apparently the official word was that he, and the other missing members of the _Enterprise_ crew, were still only wanted for questioning. No official order for their arrest had been given yet, and they weren't technically wanted criminals.

Jim wasn't sure if he was surprised by this or not. It did make a lot of sense in some aspects. If they were only wanted for questioning, without any formal charges being leveled against them, a lot less questions would be asked why. Compared to the suspicions they'd arouse with say, being wanted for treason, assisting in the escape of a deadly fugitive, and whatever other charges they could tack on. Then a lot more questions would be asked. Like why heroes of Starfleet had suddenly gone rogue. Not to mention who the fugitive was they were supposedly assisting, definitely an awkward question considering John Harrison was reported dead. The media would have a field day and Starfleet itself would be under a lot closer scrutiny than whoever was behind this probably wanted right now.

That had to be a good thing, right, the fact that whoever was behind this was trying so damned hard to keep a lid on it? Or even Starfleet to have any idea what was going on? It made Jim hopeful that his theory was correct. As long as they could get some real, concrete proof of the experiments and bio-weapons, they could blow this whole thing wide open and put a stop to it before any more people got hurt. All they needed was that proof, and to stay alive long enough to use it.

Maybe Jim was being overly optimistic but after everything that had happened they could use some fucking optimism right now. He'd take any good news he could get, no matter how small.

"Jim!"

Jim stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned as Bones jogged lightly to catch up with him.

"Hey, Bones. What's up?" The young captain of the _Enterprise_ smiled at his CMO even though the other man's face was serious. Bones was almost always serious. So hopefully this was just his friend's normal gruff mood and not another impending disaster...

"I need to talk to you. It's about Khan." Bones said, and Jim barely managed to restrain himself from sighing dramatically. So much for avoiding impending disaster. He gave the doctor a small nod instead.

"I was just going to check out the ship that Ambassador Sarek arranged for us. Sulu says it's pretty impressive. Can we talk on the way?" Jim asked and the other man nodded before falling into step beside him, on the way to the hangar.

"So, what's he done now?" Jim asked, trying to still keep things light. Hoping, maybe in vain, that it really wasn't all that serious.

He knew Khan had been driving everyone a little bit insane lately. The guy was a bastard at the best of times. He really seemed to have a knack for getting under Bones' skin too, from the way the doctor ranted about him. Usually only Jim was that good at driving his friend crazy . It was kind of nice not being the cause of it for once. From what he heard, even the Vulcans were pretty much avoiding Khan now. That was pretty damned impressive.

Jim wasn't exactly sure what Bones expected Jim to do about it though. It wasn't like Khan would listen to him any more than he'd listen to anyone else.

"I don't think Khan should come with us when we leave New Vulcan," Bones said, and that made Jim stumble mid-step as he turned to his friend in surprise. He definitely hadn't been expecting that.

"What do you mean? I thought he was recovering well..." Jim said, confused.

Bones shook his head.

"He's recovering well for a human. Physically there's no danger to move him, but that's not what I mean, Jim." Bones scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. Bones was always a bit uncomfortable when talking about his patients to other people. Doctor/patient trust and all. Bones took that kind of shit seriously. So if he was bringing it up to Jim, he definitely thought it was important.

"What do you mean?"

"He's good at hiding it, but I'm a doctor. I know what to look for. I've seen..." Bones sighed and shook his head. "The man is broken, Jim. He's barely hanging on by a thread. It's not a question of _if_ he's gonna snap, but when. And when he does, it's not going to be pretty. It would be better for everyone when that happens that he's here, and not on some damned starship in the middle of space."

Jim stared at Bones, quite frankly, stunned.

Yeah, he knew that Khan had been through hell. They'd seen the results of what had been done to him. He'd listened when Khan had talked about how Admiral Marcus had forced him to cooperate, then tried to have him killed when he was no more use. He knew a lot more had probably happened to the man that Khan had no intention of ever divulging. That Section 31 operative had insinuated as much before he'd blown himself up... But even knowing all of that, Jim hadn't thought it was that bad.

He didn't want to doubt Bones, but... The man was always remarkably stoic about, well, everything. He definitely didn't seem like a guy who was on the edge of a mental breakdown, which Bones seemed to be suggesting. Every time Jim had talked to him he was remarkably calm. Controlled. Dispassionate even, for the most part. Oh, he knew Khan was dangerous. Jim wasn't stupid and he didn't trust the man as far as he could throw him. He'd watched the man gun down dozens of defenseless Starfleet officers. He'd watched the man kill an entire squad of Klingons without breaking a sweat. But he'd always been in control...

Well...that wasn't entirely true, was it?

Jim had seen Khan lose control once already, hadn't he? On the _Vengeance_. He'd seen the man's face after he'd woken up from that stun that hadn't put him out for more than a minute. Hell, maybe he'd never really been out at all and had just been faking it. But there had been nothing calm or controlled about him when he'd crushed Admiral Marcus' skull with his bare hands. Not to mention when Khan had lost it, kidnapped him, and tried to shoot them both out of an airlock...even if that could mostly be blamed on Khan's illness at the time.

All right, so maybe Bones had a point.

Jim sighed in frustration.

"Sorry, that's not going to happen, Bones," Jim said, and the displeased scowl his friend gave him definitely wasn't a shocker.

"Jim, for god's sake, be reasonable. There are mind healers here that can deal with him a lot better than any of us can. But we can't possibly..."

"I am being reasonable, Bones. I know you're concerned. Hell, I am too. But there's just no way. Even if the Vulcans hadn't politely demanded that we leave, even if we could possibly do this without the information Khan has, do you think for one second he'll agree to stay here?" Jim asked.

Bones frowned darkly and Jim knew they were both imagining the same thing. No, Khan would never agree to being left behind. Khan would want to make sure that Jim kept his promise to look for his crew. The idea that his crew may still be alive and Jim's promise to find them might be the only thing keeping the man together. If it looked like Jim was backing out of that promise a second time... If they wanted to make Khan really lose his shit, that would be a good way.

"This is going to blow up in our faces, Jim."

Jim gave his friend a weary smile, and shrugged.

"Maybe. Maybe not. But we don't have much choice. Keep an eye on him and if you think... Just try to give us all a heads up, huh?" Jim replied, trying to give the doctor an encouraging smile. Maybe it was poor form to be making light of this, but what else could they do? All they could really do was be prepared for if or when something happened. Besides, there was always the possibility that Bones was wrong.

"You do realize I'm a doctor, right? Not a damned psychiatrist," Bones muttered with a scowl. Jim grinned a little more genuinely and slapped his friend on the back.

"You're a man of many talents," he said, and didn't even try to dodge when Bones punched him in the arm none-too-gently.

* * *

The ship had indeed been impressive. Smaller than the Vulcan starship that had brought them here, it would be easily crewed by the small number they had, but with a surprising amount of defensive and offensive capabilities for its size. She wasn't the _Enterprise_ , but she was still pretty impressive.

He would have to remember to personally thank Ambassador Sarek yet again for his generosity.

Jim had already given Scotty permission to tinker with the systems as long as she would be ready by the time they departed. If there was one thing that Jim trusted, it was his chief engineer's ability to take a great ship and make it capable of doing the impossible.

Exactly what they were going to need if they were to get through this alive.

As much as he might want to, Jim hadn't stayed in the hangar for very long, despite his curiosity about his temporary new ship. Even Bones had lingered longer than Jim had in order to take a look at the Vulcan ship's medical facilities.

Jim found himself making his way back to the medical facility to see Khan before it got too late in the evening. Jim felt a little guilty that he hadn't been to see the augment since the explosion and Khan had offered his blood to save his and Spock's lives. It wasn't that he had been avoiding Khan. There had just been so much going on and... He hadn't been lying to the doctor when he said he agreed with his concerns, so Jim figured it was best to check in on Khan himself.

What exactly could he do if Bones was right? Would anything really change? Jim had already decided that they would have to transfer Khan from his hospital room directly to the brig aboard the Vulcan vessel. They just didn't have the manpower to risk him roaming the ship freely. The man had escaped from a maximum security facility operated by Section 31, a locked room aboard a starship wouldn't be secure at all, and they simply could not trust him... And if what Bones thought was true, it was even more imperative to keep the man on lockdown.

Jim was surprised when he reached Khan's room that the familiar security personnel standing outside of the door were absent. When he checked inside the room itself, he found it empty. His heart began to hammer in alarm, and he nearly ran over the first Vulcan healer he came across.

"Where's Khan? The man in that room?" Jim demanded, pointing. The young woman raised an elegant eyebrow at the young human's outburst.

"I believe he is in the recreation room at this time," the young woman answered calmly. Oh... all right, he felt a little stupid now. It wasn't as though the Vulcans were treating Khan like a prisoner, they were treating him like a patient. There was no reason he couldn't leave his room under escort, as far as they were concerned. Jim didn't even know there was a rec room, but it made sense. Especially if some of the patients in the medical facility needed physical therapy in order to recover.

"Oh...uh, thanks. Where is that exactly?" he asked sheepishly. After the Vulcan woman gave him directions, he thanked her and apologized, though of course she told him it was unnecessary. Vulcans probably thought all humans naturally behaved a little crazy anyway.

The rec room wasn't far, and Jim was relieved to see that the security personnel usually stationed outside of Khan's room were there. They didn't stop him from entering, and once more Jim allowed himself to be impressed with the Vulcan facilities. Most of the equipment Jim recognized, though there was some he didn't, all of it was obviously state-of-the-art.

The room was empty save for one other person.

Khan was on the other side of the room, where most of the equipment seemed more of a Terran design than Vulcan. There was a simple set of gymnastics bars set up, and the other man was currently using it to do pull ups.

When Bones had said that Khan was recovering well, he wasn't kidding. The man had obviously been making good use of the rec room for a while now. Khan was still on the thin side, the dark workout pants the man wore hanging precariously low on his hips, but he'd definitely managed to regain a bit of muscle mass. Jim could see the results of it, as every one of those well-defined muscles in the man's back and arms flexed over and over again as Khan exercised. The elder man's bare upper body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, small drops of perspiration dripping down the muscles of his stomach...

Jim swallowed hard, his throat suddenly feeling very dry.

Abruptly Khan released the exercise bar and dropped down lightly onto his feet. He turned to face Jim with a frown and narrowed eyes.

"Can I help you, Captain?" Khan asked frostily. He was breathing a little heavily and his skin was flushed. Jim was having a hard time thinking.

Then he remembered what else Bones had said. He's recovering well for a human. Human. But Khan wasn't a human. Not completely, anyway. He was an augment. Jim had seen Khan fight an entire squad of Klingons - and win - without even breaking a sweat. He'd punched Khan over and over again as hard as he could without even leaving a bruise. Now Khan was standing in front of him, breathing hard and sweating, with still very prominent scars littering his entire torso.

Bones was right; Khan was good at hiding it, but he wasn't fine. Not physically and probably not mentally, either.

"Are you sure you should to be doing that?" Jim asked, allowing a bit of concern to slip into his tone. Khan didn't answer him, only continued to stare at Jim in that hard unforgiving way that probably made many lesser men squirm uncomfortably. Good thing Jim Kirk wasn't a lesser man. "Bones is concerned..."

Khan snorted and finally turned away from him. He walked over to a bench and picked up the towel siting on it and began wiping his face and chest with it.

"I do not require the good doctor's concern. Or yours, for that matter," Khan said without emotion and without bothering to look at Jim. Frankly it was beginning to piss Jim off a little. How easily the man dismissed him.

"Oh yeah? Well tough shit, buddy. As long as you're a member of my crew..."

Khan froze a little at that, and it was enough to make Jim do a little double-take over his own words. Had he really said that? Yes, he had. When exactly had he started to think of Khan as part of his crew? Or maybe not really part of his crew, but definitely his responsibility.

Khan was definitely looking at him now. In fact, his eyes were practically blazing as he stalked over to Jim. Suddenly he was standing so close that Jim could practically feel the man's body heat radiating off of him. He seemed to tower over Jim. All right, so it was a little...intimidating.

"Let's get one thing perfectly clear, Kirk. I am not a member of your crew. You do not command me in any way, and if you ever attempt to, you will regret it. Am I clear?" Khan growled, and Jim felt a shiver run down his spine but...it didn't really feel like fear . Jim pulled himself up to his full height. Refusing to be intimidated.

"Fine. While we're making things clear, you might not be part of my crew, but as long as you are on my ship, you do what I say. Or I'll arrange for your insubordinate ass to stay here. Got it?" Jim replied with all the confidence and authority of a ship's captain. Sure it was a bluff because, as Jim said, he really didn't think the Vulcans would ever go for it. But Khan didn't need to know that.

The elder man's eyes flashed and for a moment Jim thought he was going to get to see first-hand just how recovered Khan might be as the man tried to murder him. But then it was gone and Khan even shifted away from him a little. Jim decided to count that as a victory.

"Right. Now as I was saying, Bones is concerned about your health." Among other things... "So am I. So if there's anything... you need. I would like you to let him, or me, know. Don't try to hide it. I need everyone in top form if we're going to pull this off, and I don't want to see you killed because you hid an injury or something. All right?" Jim asked, his voice still firm, but softer now.

Jim almost wished he had a camera at that moment, because Khan looked completely floored. The man recovered himself quickly however.

"Very well, Captain," the elder man finally bit out, as always, managing to make Jim's title sound like a curse. He roughly pushed past Jim and headed towards the door.

Jim rolled his eyes and turned to face the man again.

"And you can quit calling me 'captain' like you're telling me to fuck off," the young man snapped in irritation. Khan paused, then turned to face the younger man with an expression that was surprisingly smug.

"Very well, Captain," Khan repeated, but the way he said it this time... Well okay, it still sounded like the man was saying 'fuck you' but just in an entirely different context. Jim felt himself flush in spite of himself and the bastard actually smirked before turning again and walking out of the room.

What the hell had just happened?


	29. Chapter 29

Khan made his way swiftly back to the room that had been assigned to him within the Vulcan medical facility, eager to be alone after the strange encounter with Jim Kirk.

He could still feel the young human's eyes on him long after he left the exercise room. He refused to look back. Not at the captain, or the two Vulcan security personnel who immediately fell into step behind him. There was never any need to confirm their presence as they followed him everywhere. Sometimes it was easy to ignore their presence. Other times...not. Sometimes he wondered what they would do if he ever attempted to run. It would not have been easy, but he probably could have overpowered and subdued the two Vulcans if he wished to escape their watchful eyes. He never attempted to do so, and he knew he never would. Khan's fists remained clenched at his sides; the only outward sign to his inner turmoil.

Alone. He needed to be alone now. The door to his room opened automatically and closed behind him when he entered. Locking out the world. The two guards remained outside. As always. He was finally alone. Khan took several steps away from the door, each one shakier than the last. Until the strain finally became too much and his knees buckled.

He barely managed to bring his hands up in time to catch himself with his arms. The impact was still jarring despite his efforts. His breathing had become ragged, far more labored than he had allowed Jim Kirk to see back in the rec room. His whole body shook violently with every inhalation. His jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together, refusing to release the scream of pain that tried to force itself from his body. His eyes clenched shut, stubbornly refusing to let the agonized tears escape.

Even if there was no one to hear him, no one to see him, he would not succumb to his own weakness. He. Would. Not.

No matter that it felt like there was acid pumping through his veins instead of blood. No matter that it felt like his muscles were being torn to shreds by every small movement he made. No matter that it felt like there were razorblades in his lungs slicing him open with every breath he took. No matter that his head felt like it was being crushed...

Just like he had crushed Admiral Marcus' skull with his bare hands. A harsh laugh escaped Khan in spite of himself. How ironic.

It was not real. How could it be real? There was nothing wrong with him. Dr. McCoy, as much as Khan hated to admit it, was competent enough. The man would have discovered by now if there was something physically wrong with him. That only left one option. The pain was in his mind. Only in his mind.

Khan swallowed back a groan, hunching in on himself even more as another wave of agony tore through his muscles. It felt real. It felt very real. But how could it be real? The pain was not present all of the time. There seemed to be no pattern to what would trigger it, and he knew, despite how intense the pain was now, that it would pass in approximately ten minutes or so. He had timed it before. As long as he remained still, it would pass.

Already the pain was beginning to subside, pouring out of him much like the sweat dripping down his naked skin. Khan growled in anger and frustration, his arms curling around his body. His blunt nails dug brutally into the flesh of his biceps. He curled in on himself even more, his forehead nearly touching the floor. He almost welcomed the coldness of it against his overheated skin.

He had never felt so weak. So pathetic. He had never felt so betrayed by his own mind and body.

He was not this...weak pathetic thing. He was Khan. He was a warrior. He was a leader. He was a king. Not...

Not something to be coddled. Not something to be pitied.

Kirk... The way Kirk had looked at him...

_As long as you're a member of my crew..._

He had wanted to kill Kirk for those words. The pain had already been so intense by then. Khan had been pushing himself hard, trying to raise his endurance to it, hoping if he could just push past it enough maybe it would...stop. Then those words had ripped open emotional agony so intense it was a wonder it did not drive him mad.

As though the boy had any idea what crew, what family, really meant. If he did, Kirk never would have condemned his actions against Starfleet and Marcus. He never would have said something like that to him.

At least Kirk was not so stupid as to not realize his mistake. He had seen that plainly enough in Kirk's expression. It had managed to clear some of the red haze from Khan's mind. Kirk's threat to leave him here was enough incentive that he did not simply strike the younger man for his insolence at challenging him. But he could not risk it. He did not trust Kirk enough to believe the man would keep his promise to him if Khan didn't make it worth his while to do so. So...he had backed down. Retreated. Him. Retreat.

The word left a foul taste in his throat like bile.

After that, his only thought had been to...get away. Before he collapsed in agony at Kirk's feet, he needed to get away. His last parting shot at the captain before he left had been...childish. But he had not exactly been thinking clearly at the time. He hadn't expected the look of desire in the young man's eyes when Kirk had entered the room. He had seen a weakness in Kirk and exploited it. At least the look of shock on the young man's face had been satisfying. He may come to regret that...or he may not. As unexpected a development as it was, it could prove useful in the days to come.

Khan sighed wearily.

At least he had managed to surprise the captain enough that he had not followed him. Khan did not want to imagine the humiliation he would feel if anyone else saw him like this. The pain was almost gone. Enough that he risked slowly uncurling himself. He pushed himself carefully up off the floor. Every movement felt like little jolts of lightning racing up his arms and down his back and legs, but it was bearable. Slowly Khan stumbled over to the bed and collapsed heavily down upon it.

He stared at his hand. The slight twitches it made against the mattress. His eyes following the lines of scars that ran from the back of his hand and up his arm. Given his biology, his body almost never scarred. Dr. McCoy was right, they should have faded by now. He had told McCoy that he only needed time. He had wanted to believe that. Now he was not so certain.

It was all he could do not to tear the flesh from his arm just so he would not have to stare at the scars any longer.

* * *

Some hours had passed. He was not sure how many, but it could not have been long given how his skull felt like it had been stuffed with cotton and his muscles still felt weak and heavy. There was no pain but the lingering weakness was almost worse than the pain. At least it was not another nightmare that had woken him. However, Khan could not say he was very pleased by what had woken him.

"What do you want?" he asked, weariness more than anger in his tone. His voice was thick and hoarse like he hadn't in fact choked down the screams that had tried to escape him earlier.

"To talk, Mr. Singh. Nothing more," the elderly voice that came from near his bedside was not unkind. But then, in the typical Vulcan fashion, there was no emotion at all behind the words.

"I have nothing to say," Khan replied, not bothering to turn around to face the other man or even open his eyes.

"Perhaps," came the reply, and then silence. But no sounds that indicated that the old Vulcan had any intention of leaving, either. Gritting his teeth to stifle as frustrated sigh, Khan slowly turned around and glared at the Vulcan he had not seen since his attempted abduction.

The other man seemed completely unaffected, only raising one eyebrow slightly from where he sat in a standard wheelchair. All things considered, the old Vulcan seemed to be recovering well from his injuries. Underneath the simple robe he wore, Khan noticed the bandages wrapped around the Vulcan's chest. The old man had been lucky indeed. If the ones who'd tried to take Khan had had more knowledge of Vulcan physiology the old man would probably be dead right now.

Khan would not have made such a mistake.

"What do you want?" Khan repeated. Spock folded his hands in his lap and seemed to consider his words carefully before finally replying.

"I am sure you are aware that Vulcan's are telepathic? That we can read another's thoughts, most easily through touch. However we are taught from a very young age to shield our minds, as it is considered the ultimate invasion of privacy to read another's thoughts without their permission." Khan felt a curling of dread pool in the pit of his stomach. "I was curious how you knew that I was Spock when we first met. I believe I am beginning to understand now... And I am afraid I must apologize. My mental shields have not been as strong as is normal since my injury and...you have been projecting rather loudly I am afraid."

Long moments stretched to the point to which the silence was practically deafening.

"What do you want?!" Khan practically exploded, between one moment and the next he was standing, all but towering over the old Vulcan who did not move, despite the fact that the augment was practically shaking with rage. He watched Khan with dark eyes that were far too understanding.

"I would like to attempt to help. If you will allow it," Spock said calmly. Far too calmly in Khan's opinion.

"Why?" Khan snarled.

"I could give you no answer that you would believe."

"Try," The augment demanded. The old Vulcan nodded, folding his hands together before he began to speak as serenely as ever.

"Whether you believe it or not, we are very much alike, Mr. Singh. We are both from worlds different from this one. Outcasts if you will. We have both experienced loss and pain the likes of which most can never comprehend..." Spock paused for a moment before he continued. "However, I know you understand when I say I do not offer this for your sake."

Khan glared down at the old Vulcan for a long time before he finally nodded slowly. Yes, he understood.

"Offer what?" He finally asked, uncurling his fists at his sides.

"As I said before, Vulcans are trained from an early age in how to shield themselves. I can show you how to strengthen yours... It may help with the pain. So that it does not overwhelm you. I am sorry, it is all I can offer in the limited time we have." Try as he might Khan could find no deception in those words. Khan nodded slowly.

"Good. Kneel down, please," the old Vulcan instructed and Khan slowly obeyed. He forced himself not to flinch away when Spock slowly lifted one of his hands and placed his fingers very specifically against his face.

* * *

Two days had passed in a whirlwind of activity and now, while the last of their provisions were being loaded, Jim Kirk stood in the hangar bay next to the ship that would take them away from New Vulcan. Most of his crew was already on board and Sulu was busy running the last of the flight checks before take off.

There was really only one person they were waiting on.

Jim turned when he heard the doors open and watched as Khan was led into the hangar bay by Vulcan security. Jim had not seen the man since that awkward encounter in the rec room and he was a little stunned at just how much the man's appearance seemed to have changed since then. Khan was dressed in a plain tight fitting black shirt and trousers with black combat boots. His hair combed neatly back in his usual style. He was still a little paler than normal and there were dark circles under his eyes, but otherwise looked nearly recovered from his ordeal. He walked proudly towards the ship.

He'd had that same air about him when the _Enterprise_ security had marched him onto his ship like he in fact owned it. Even manacled, the man had seemed dangerous. In fact, it was so similar, Jim felt an uncomfortable feeling of deja'vu as Khan passed by him without even glancing in his direction.

The young man frowned a little as he watched Khan board the ship.

"Jim."

Jim turned, the sound of his old friend's voice breaking his momentary paralysis, and the young man smiled at the Vulcan sitting in the wheelchair.

"Hey. This is a surprise. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

The elder Spock gave him that look that was almost a smile, but not quite. Still it always seemed to fill Jim with warmth.

"I wanted to wish you good luck."

"I thought Vulcans didn't believe in luck," Jim teased with a small laugh. Spock inclined his head in a small nod.

"You are correct. Be that as it may, I have found it never hurts to offer it all the same." Spock glanced briefly towards the ship before focusing on Jim once more. "I have little doubt you will succeed in your objective. Still... Please be careful, my friend."

Jim reached out to warmly grasp the old Vulcan's shoulder.

"I will. You too, and thank you. For everything," Jim said. To his surprise, Spock reached up to cover his hand with his own.

"There is no need. I am and ever shall be your friend." He spoke softly, brushing his fingers lightly over the back of Jim's hand.

 _"Captain, flight checks are completed and we are ready to depart,"_ the sound of his first officer's voice through his communicator broke the moment and Jim dropped his hand once more. He gave the old Vulcan one last warm smile before he turned and boarded the ship.

Looking back he saw Spock hold up his hand in the familiar ta'al gesture. Jim raised his own hand in a poor facsimile, earning him another one of those almost-smiles, before the door to the ship closed behind him. Taking a deep breath, Jim made his way quickly through the ship towards the bridge.

They had a job to do.


End file.
